More Orgasms Now!

Okay, I admit I've been lurking around the shadowy orifices of more than one or two or three psychology sites...mainly human sexuality and sexual deviant psychology sites, doing research for info into the mind of Dr. Psycho (introduced in Book I, rementioned in Book 2, and deserving of his very own Chronicle of Surrender)...and it's messing with my brain.

Here's an example... from this site..."

...a female orgasm can be frustratingly evasive. While about 85 to 90 percent of women are capable of having an orgasm, according to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., vice president of the World Association for Sexology, only about one-third have had one during intercourse. That said, it's important to remember that orgasm should never be the goal."In goal-oriented sexual interactions, each step leads to the top step, or the big "O"--orgasm," says Whipple. "Goal-oriented people who don't reach the top step don't feel very good about the process that has occurred. Whereas for people who are pleasure oriented, any activity can be an end in itself; it doesn't have to lead to something else. Sometimes, we're very satisfied holding hands or cuddling. There would be a lot more pleasure in this world if people would just focus on the process."Whipple also points out that the psychological ramifications of dissatisfying sexual interactions are not often suffered alone; they can cause distress in both partners. "If one person in a relationship is goal-oriented and the other is pleasure-oriented, and neither is aware of their own orientation, they don't communicate that with their partner," she explains. "A lot of relationship problems can develop. In my workshops with couples, I help them be aware of how they view sexual interactions and then communicate this with their partner."

So communication is good, the problem is how to communicate.
I'm sure I'm not the only girl out there who has wanted to scream, "Hey! Stop THAT, it isn't working for me! Do this..."

And on occasion, I may have screeched something along those lines but then Goddess only knows how much fun it is to be in bed with a naked, POUTING man...The problem is, does that make me goal-oriented because yeah, I do want that orgasm...repeatedly...or does that make me pleasure oriented? because really, I'm only wanting it too FEEL GOOD...and then the natural conclusion of feeling good is that elusive orgasm...

Which leads me to the question, is it really elusive or do some men just not know how to help a girl get there?

Do men even know where the clitoris is?

Or for that matter what its function is?

I think it's our responsibility to physically show them what we like...exactly how we like it...
(which, BTW, worked fairly well with Sir Hotness...but only because he demanded I show him...which at the time seemed totally embarressing...but now, I'm glad he did...but it makes me wonder if I would have been brave enough to show him had he not demanded...)

So really, as the girls, shouldn't we just get over the shyness, embarressment...whatever we think we're feeling...and just show them!! ... because only one in three girls having orgasms isn't good enough, ladies...

So, SHOW THEM!

But then after showing a guy where it is, what it's for and HOW you like it...then comes trying to explain that there are different kinds of orgasms...outties (clitoral), innies (vaginal), or those wonderful combination orgasms tht happen when the innie and outtie happen at the same time because the guy has figured it out...halleiluia...making all that communicating and pouting worth it.

Too Damn Busy For Sex

Priceless's comment about always being at work (and my own workaholic nature) made me think of a recent article I read at the BBC News Link...titled, "No Sex Please, We're Too Busy."

Yes, when I saw the title, I snorted...thinking of the lengths I go to in order to ensure that I do occasionally have wild, crazy, insane, tie me up and do wicked things to me sex...talk about planning...

But then, I started thinking, what about the everyday quickie, or every other weekend lock myself and committed other in a room for 24/7 sexcapades until the wee hours of Monday morning makes us realize that we have to sleep if we're to function at all on the job (or decide quickly if we're calling off sick to make it an even longer sexcapade weekend?)

Sure, the long-distance relationship with Sir Hotness has improved my sex life DRAMATICALLY ... and he's an hour and a half away ... but what was I doing before Sir Hotness?

Absolutely Nothing!
Unless work classifies...
And then, I could say...10, 12, 14 hr days of 7 days a week on the job excitement...ew-eeeeee!

Sorry, not good enough...girl likes orgasms, multiple orgasms, and sadly my job doesn't provide those as a fringe benefit. So, why are we so quick to say yes to extra hours when it's not only cutting into our eatting, sleeping, showering time but also OUR WILD, CRAZY MONKEY SEX TIME???????????

The BBC reported, "Today's women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts, say researchers."

Okay, this is too wrong for words...I am potentially having less sex than MY MOTHER?!
Pleeeeease! Tell me it isn't so!

The BBC also reported, "Researchers from the Kinsey Institute said women now have less time for sex. They found that 42% of women who cohabit with male partners have sex two or three times a week. This compares to just one in three married women."

So what does THAT mean? Single, I'm having sex 2 or 3 times a week but married I have only a one in three shot at having sex three times a week? What do the other two out of three get? By the doomsday reporting thus far, I'm betting LESS? And here, I'm in a rush to get married so that I can have MORE...because yeah, I'm greedy like that. I think it's every girls right to have sex three times A DAY...EVERY DAY! Are you listening Sir Hotness? Because Less isn't happening and I do have a flogger to make sure I get my way;)

However, Skyler Grey, pointed out by sending me this photo the other day...that I don't need a flogger to get my way...

Absent...

I've gone missing...that's what I told a friend's message machine when she didn't answer her own phone but left a previous message on mine when she called to complain that not only was I not online, I'm not blogging, I'm not on Myspace, I'm not in yoga class, I'm not at the Bistro, I'm not at the Coffee Shop...I'm not answering my phone...so where the fuck am I?

Missing...
Hiding...
Thinking too much most definitely...

And actually I have blogged...I have half a dozen saved as drafts but it seems like what I have to say is too little...or too much...about topics which are so important that they are mind boggling...or so trivial that I lost brain cells writing them.

So today, is Thursday...

I survived the Office Meeting yesterday that almost blew my career because a girl can only hold her tongue so fucking long...and really...I blame it on Sir Hotness because he gave me the power to be ballsy and stand up for myself (thank you for that, love)...BTW...I do still have a career.

I survived Tuesday, a not too eventful day but one that was filled with incredible sadness because I learned a friend has cancer...

I survived Monday...a friend critiqued Sacred revelations and she told me exactly what I needed to fix, though I already knew what needed to be fixed, but hated admitting what I need to do, knowing my editor is going to kill me...but it will be a much better final product...so I will bravely go where no romance writer wants to go...back to the middle of the madness to save not a sagging middle but a middle so full it needs expounding on...ie...add 20K words and we should be good to go.

I need a weekend...and a good book to read.
Or maybe I'll go to a movie...

The movie is gonna win but there are so many to choose from...
In no particular order:
Children of Men ... imagine a world with NO children...
Pan's Labyrinth ... a fairytale for adults
The Pursuit of Happyness ... Hope, Dreams...a little boy too cute for words...bring Kleenex

Beautiful Girl is voting for Pan's Labyrinth Friday night and I'm not telling her it's subtitled.

The Japanese Have All The Answers

Wow, leave it to the Japanese to figure out the answer to a long distance relationship...and here I was very happy with the solution Sir Hotness and I came up with when we decided to get married and cohabitate...making sex really up close and personal all the time. Although, I may miss the phone sex...we were getting really good at it...almost to the point that I was certain I could entertain a second career with a 900-number...

Sorry, I digress....

Back to the Japanese, and I've seen their prototypes enough to know that they were onto something...but imagine having your very own "CYBER STICK" that you could lick, caress, insert and general get off on (and even video tape the experience for your long distance partner) so that miles away "YOUR LOVER" could view the video, insert his penis into the "CYBER HOLE" and feel every sensation as recorded by your cyber-stick.

uh-huh...

I know, you're shaking your head in wonder...I was too. I mean with the availability of cyber-holes and videos, men may never have need of a warm bodied woman again...ever. Distressing.

But then, after a little more research, I found that the male Japanese designers weren't being totally selfish...they actually designed the units vica-versa as well and the woman's piece of the puzzle is actually fairly anatomically correct (although a bit small) and responds with all the appropriate vigor of a warm bodied man minus the grunting, sweaty part.

hmmm...

I kind of like the sweaty, grunting parts...especially...if there is also screaming involved, I mean, why get naked if there isn't grunting and screaming. And if there's no sweat was it really all that? And then there's the bonus drool, tears, blood to let you know you really, really had a good time...can cyber-sex really take the place of all that?

I'm beginning to understand why only 10% of Japanese women report having satisfactory sex lives. I just don't think Japanese men quite get the concept.

Want to know even more about the future of virtual sex?
Another High Tech Virtual Sex Link

I think I'll stick with my plan as is...now if they ever come up with a complete BDSM virtual experience...cyber flogging, cyber bondage...I may want to sign up as a test-dummy just so I can report back to my readers my own Cyber-Experience...you know, in the name of scientific research.

Expecting Dildos?

Okay, okay, I know I've just about worn out my readers with talk of proposals and weddings...when all you really dropped by for was the latest scoop on what's new in vibrating dildos...however; we have one important topic that's rolling around my brain...the long, romantic, extended weekend otherwise known as THE HONEYMOON.

And, not to be mean, but several well-meaning and concerned readers who were aghast at hearing the news that Sir Hotness proposed OVER THE PHONE...and feel like he really doesn't have a romantic bone in his body...which I assure you...he does...REALLY...but said readers insist that it is now all about the honeymoon and that he must truly pull out all the stops.

Hmmm....
So I went Romantic (Extended Weekend) Honeymoon shopping and found that we really are limited on romantic destinations especially since I refuse to go to Gatlinburg (nearest elopement capital to moi) or Las Vegas (just can't...sorry, it's just too Elvis)

But I did find a few that are tempting...very, very tempting:

1. Classic Oceanfront Luxury and Romance in Georgia
Greyfield Inn, Cumberland Island, Georgia

2. Gentle Slumber in the Elegant South
Woodlands Resort & Inn, Summerville, South Carolina

3. Antebellum Elegance in South Carolina
Charleston Place, Charleston, South Carolina

4. 1940's Glamour in Chic South Beach
The Raleigh, Miami Beach, Florida, USA

5. Dazzling Urban Haven in Miami
Four Seasons Hotel Miami, Miami, Florida

6. Eclectic Mansion in Vibrant New Orleans
Magnolia Mansion, New Orleans, Louisiana

7. Revel in Nature's Splendor in the Colorado Rockies
Dunton Hot Springs, Dolores, Colorado

GUEST BLOGGING TODAY!

Visit me over at Liquid Silvers Sexpressions Today...
I'm guest Blogging...

There may even be an excerpt from Sacred Revelations, Book 2 of the Chronicles of Surrender later in the evening:)

You're Dating?

I'VE MANAGED TO MAKE THE ROUNDS OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ... AND THE STANDARD REACTION IS ... "YOU'RE DATING SOMEONE?"

Ahhhh...Yeah... Roxy Dates...Duh. It's not ALWAYS about whips and chains...
And...
Yes, Roxy Harte is getting married. And YES...we've only been dating 2 months!

For those of you who know me very well, this is most unexpected, because to say I'm jaded is an understatement...well, that and I said over and over and over that if it didn't work with the last guy, I was changing teams full time.

So, obviously I didn't change teams full time...

The announcement was worth it just in the entertainment value of the reactions...
The ex-husband, "Wow...that's soon. I mean, wow...that's really soon."
The middle daughter, "I knew you went insane but this is proof that you need locked up in a mental ward." (hmmm...restraints, straight jackets, electrical shock...that might be a little too much fun. I might not want to leave.)
The friend who sent me this video with the question, "So, really, DO YOU KNOW HIM well enough for this?"

I know him well enough to know that he has all the important equipment and he REALLY knows how to use it...you know, nipple clamps, rope, assorted gadgets **grins**

But yes, it's a shock to those who loved me best when I was jaded, sarcastic, and hated most men...unless they were licking my boots or other important parts. In response to the myriad of,"what happened??" questions...

I never expected to laugh again, not for real...I'd been faking laughter for years and no one had caught on...so why risk trying it for real? Then I met R and within two minutes of hello I was laughing so hard tears were running down my face. The first time we were actually alone, I took a call, did what I do, responded with the proper tone inflection at the proper response times and even threw in a giggle or two for good measure. Hanging up, R asked, "What was that?" I said, "What?" He said, "The performance." And I started to cry because no one has ever seen through me before...and you have to realize that at one time I was married for fifteen years and even he didn't see the real me.

So I admitted to R how truly miserable I'd become over the years...wearing mask on top of mask until not even I was sure who I was anymore and R made me promise that I'd never fake it with him. That we'd only have one hundred percent real between us. And strangely, it's the easiest thing I've ever done. Beause he can honestly accept me for who I am. That's why, after only two months, I am marrying R. He lets me be real even when it isn't pretty to do so...

I fell in love.
Wow.
Something Roxy never expected.

I love you, baby...Thanks for finding me.

Wedding Questions

Planning a wedding isn't easy...and to be honest, you think I'd be a pro by now with two walks down the aisle behind me. But no, not easy. What does the girl wear third time around? And isn't the wedding REALLY all about the dress? So, leather bodice and white lace skirt? or maybe black satin?

I'm beginning to think eloping may be in order...or at the very least a quick five minutes before a justice of the peace and call it a day. Not very romantic, but then, the real romance is after the ceremony anyway, isn't it?

I'm more about the honeymoon than the walk down the aisle...give me a pool side room anywhere tropical, a few cutesy, frozen drinks with itty bitty umbrellas and a sexy man to rub oil on my back...yeah, that's the romantic part...throw in a few nipple clamps, a flogger, vibrating dildos and a cockring and suddenly the honeymoon is heaven on earth.

So Much For Assumptions

I guess I assumed everyone would know I said, "Yes!"

I said, "YES!"

A Single Question

Somedays start out like shit...like today...woke up at three a.m. tossed about until six when the alarm went off only to fall asleep until quarter after seven, needing to be where I needed to be at seven-thirty and yes, it's a twenty minute drive...shit... and then...and only then, does the day really begin to go down hill.

But not today. Today did not take the downward plunge although at quarter til eight I was late, still wretched with a flu bug ongoing for what seems like eternity but in reality has been only ten days, deludged by phone calls and hardly able to communicate through a hoarse, rough throat, and royally pissed because I wasn't able to think through the fuzzy sleep deprived brain ...

Seems bad enough and I was cranky enough ... definitely a shit day.

Then, out of the clear blue, a phone call I didn't mind being on because Sir Hotness was on the other end of the line...and a single question that turned the events of the day, stunned me into silence, and made my heart skip a beat...

"Marry me?"

WOW...2007 Came in With A BANG

Of course I can't divulge all my secrets but my head has been spinning since the clock struck midnight three days ago...

Since getting Sacred Revelations: Book 2 of the Chronicles of Surrender to the publisher, I have been writing up a storm. Sixteen thousand words into a story called Submissive which is to be part of an Anthology...and another Five thousand words into a story called Divorce is Just the Beginning due to come out as part of a second anthology later in the year...

Plus, my real job...

Plus, time spent with the New Hotness...

Plus, trying not to neglect Beautiful Girl, so Thursday was desinated Girls Night Out and we will be off to see a sneak preview of the Freedom Writers...

I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep up with myself if I keep this pace up but I'm sure having a good time! Happy New Year everyone!!

Hugs
Roxy

Ask Men...Acrobat Sex, Bad Advice, Good Advice

During my wanderings I ran across AskMen.com and was at once intrigued then after reading momentarily horrified. After a bit I decided that the good balanced the bad, but overall I was left with a better understanding of just why men and women don't always see eye to eye...

Intriguing Sex Positions:
With name's like the Boston Brute, the Merry Mandolin, Othello's Back Groove and the Reverse Frog Squat it was worth checking into ... I'll leave it up to you guys to comment on your success rate, I'm more than willing to take on the challenge of trying to figure out how to make Super Hero's Delight, Zero Gravity and Orthello's Back Groove work...

Really Bad Advice:
In a question to the sexual adviser titled in bad taste: Stank in The Tank, a man complained about his girlfriend having a bad odor below her belly button and the fact that he hasn't gone down there since...

The advice given was: "I know it's difficult to reveal that you're not pleased with your partner's odor, but if you're able to make love to her, then you should be able to discuss this matter. You don't have to say anything insulting. Rather, you can take her into the shower with you. Or you can lead by example and tell her you're going to take a shower... first.
Or, during foreplay, you could reveal that you want to explore her body at length and maybe she should freshen up before you both get undressed. Believe it or not, even when men don't shower, they emit an unflattering odor around their genital area. And because women have constant moisture down there, it's only normal that they will end up emitting a strong odor as well. "

Why do I see this as bad advice? If the adviser is in the medical profession and I assume he is...he might have suggested that his gf might be suffering from a medical condition, ranging from mild to severe. Because normal, healthy girls shouldn't be so foul smelling as to make a man swear off cunnilingus.

The Balancing Good Advice:
A man wrote in complaining, "My girlfriend ejaculates forcefully and I don't care for the sensation of being urinated on or the smell. I've never experienced this in a woman before. Furthermore, my girlfriend doesn't like it. Is there a way to rectify this situation? "

AskMen.com Adviser replied at length here and ending with, "...she's not urinating on you...Do you enjoy ejaculating? Of course you do, so how could you say she doesn't? ...perhaps you should stop turning her on or even making love to her for that matter. But is that really what you want?"

And a New Year Begins...

First six hours of 2007 spent in screaming ecstasy, pass out, wake up six hours later to more screaming ecstasy...yeah, I think I'm going to like 2007. Tell me your drunken (or sober) New Years Eve sex tales for a chance to win a first copy of Sacred Revelations...

Please limit to 150 words or less.
Hugs
Roxy

Have a wonderful 2007 Everyone!
Hugs
Roxy

PS
new excerpt over at the Reader's Forum

What About Those Lost Dreams?

Wow! Another Holiday Season whizzes by!
Already, the countdown has begun for the dawning of 2007.

New for me, I'm optimistic. I think it's going to be a very good year...and...I'm actually looking forward to 2007.

So, I made the loop of fav but random blog visits the last few days and was surprised to see Resolutions are already the big topic and that made me start to wonder why the majority of us only strive to become our best once a year when we're making our lists. (Actually, I only recall making one such list in twenty years and it included becoming vegan, dropping twenty pounds, and joining the Peace Corp. I did accomplish two of the three that year...yippee for me...although I've since regained all twenty pounds and lasted as a vegan only a decade.)

So, I guess I'm not much of a Resolution Maker, preferring to reevaluate and adjust my life as need warrants, not as a day on the calandar expectation. Although, one of my author friend's Resolution included wearing lacy underthings, wild uninhibited sex, and increased wine consumption as a new daily goal. Sounds good to me, but I'd have to talk the New Hotness into moving closer for the daily, wild, uninhibited sex part to work (unless phone sex counts...if not, I'll just double the wine consumption to makeup for its lack.)

More wine is good.
I actually ran across an author site that rated the difficulty of their novels (as in the writing of them not the reading of them) on a scale of how many bottles of wine each took to write...I like that idea and would endeavor to join them but when I counted up all the bottles of beer, wine, and fifths it took to get through Sacred Secrets I became concerned for myself. Sacred Revelations (which is DONE BTW!!!!Yeah!!!) was a breeze by comparison and didn't make me feel at all the lush Sacred Secrets did, though I'm still not up to revealing a bottle count.

Random Ramblings aside, and back to the original topic...
Why do we make resolutions we have no intention of keeping? Why not instead remember one lost dream and endeavor to make it so.
Remember all those dreams we once had as a child...sure some have changed, some never had a chance, but there are some that had potential...we just somehow forgot that they were important goals along the way.

I used to have so many dreams that my mom would have to smack me for staring into space too long. She was afraid the neighbors would think I needed medicated (or hospitalized for being catatonic) and she was certain that would reflect badly on her...miss you, Mom.

Anyway, this blog is too encourage the remembering of the Lost Dreams. Go ahead, list them...and then pick one...whether its one a week, one a month, or only one this year...just make it so.

And if you want, you can comment, tell me some of your Lost Dreams. I'd love to hear about them...and for now, I will leave you with a few of mine:

1. Hike the Appalachian Trail
2. Visit Tibet/Nepal
3. Use my vacation time to not only See the World, but help others

Sacred Revelations: Book 2 of the Chronicles of Surrender

Do I hear a Whoo-hooooooo! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, after a few very dedicated days writing, a very cooperative muse, and Celia coming out of fetal position long enough to tell me her side of the story...Sacred Revelations is now a complete manuscript!

And Abby, if you're reading, I could really use your proofreading skills today or tomorrow if you have some time:)

Steamy Blog on Trial

Today in the news there is a report titled: Steamy Blog Lawsuit Heads for Trial...
here's the blah, blah...written by Matt Apuzzo, AP, Washington, who started the article, "When Robert Steinbuch discovered his girlfriend had discussed intimate details about their sex life in her online diary, the Capitol Hill staffer didn't just get mad. He got a lawyer."

So yeah, he got my attention...There are a lot of us out here in the blogworld who not only blog about random day-to-day in and outs but also about the oh so sweaty, steamy make me scream stuff...and yes, I keep it mostly PG to R because I have daughters who peek in from time to time but there are others, bloggers who I enjoy reading on a regular basis, who do not keep it even remotely R...Their philosophy seems to be: the more graphic the better...and I can appreciate that.

But what happens when today's significant other becomes tomorrow's ex with an attitude and is suddenly embarrassed or even down-right outraged by the blog still up for all eyes to see (and quite potentially now blogging about the ex is a less than flattering light.) Will we all be suing each other over TMI?

In the Washington tale as reported by Matt, "Jessica Cutler, a former aide to Sen. Mike DeWine, R-Ohio, says she created the blog in 2004 to keep a few friends up to date on her social life."

Sure, that's what we're all doing, keeping our friends up to date on our escapades.
Maybe. Then again, maybe we're just doing what Jessica did:

Again, as reported by Matt, "Jessica Cutler wrote a book about her blog, called 'The Washingtonienne,' and her online posts were picked up by other bloggers."

Yeah, it could happen...
Every escapade I have, in and out of the bedroom, in and out of the dungeon, or in and out of public play spaces everywhere may be blogged about, written about, and published. Most of my friends know that they are taking a big chance when they share TMI with me...They may end up on the written page though their names are changed to protect their innocence or lack thereof...

The New Hotness was warned on the first date that I not only write erotica, but I blog about my private life, and to speak now, or forever hold your peace...

That's my policy, I ask friends once...and then with verbal permission given...I run with it. Saves the hassle of them finding out from a friend of a friend that their life is being immortalized in written word. New Hotness has so far been okay with the little tidbits leaked. He may or may not be impressed if he finds moments of shared bliss more explicit in nature tucked into a book here or there. Who knows. I think it's a complement, because DAMN, if it was hot enough to add into a chapter of one of my books, it must have been a really good time.

Maybe that's what Jessica should have done, been upfront and honest, then her Washington playmate wouldn't be trying to get a piece of her royalties.

Post Holidays...What's on my mind?

I've given myself until the 31st as my deadline for Sacred Revelations...5 days, 20000 words to finish it...

Post holidays...I have the same thoughts as everyone else: can I pay my bills with what's left post holiday shopping madness? is it too early to take the tree down? am I fat?

I've watched two obscure movies in as many days...both about families more entertaining than mine, though similar to mine in that they are tragically, humorously disfunctional...

Little Miss Sunshine
Running With Scissors

Both movies were laugh out loud funny, I'd watch them both again, and at some point their DVD's will make it into my collection...so they must have been okay...although, Little Miss Sunshine wasn't the most memorable and I wonder if this time next week, I'll even remember who played in it...except for Paul Dano, his performance as the teen who took a vow of silence was stellar.

My thouhts on Running with Scissors is a bit more complex...loved the cast, but then with a line-up of Annette Benning, Joseph Feinnes, Joseph Cross, Alec Baldwin, Jill Clayborn, Evan Rachel Wood, Brian Cox, and Gwenyth Paltrow...who wouldn't love the cast? not that the cast helped box office sales and that is sad...manic-depressionion, lesbians, gay men, oppressed rage, released rage, jealousy, freedom of expression... Where did it all lead? I'm still trying to figure that out and so have gone in search of the book because as wickedly funny and poignant and totallyschizofrenic as the movie was, I assume the Memoir will be better.

And for Lila who asked what New Hotness got me for Christmas...you wouldn't believe me even if I told you...so I'll wait and surprise you when I release my own Memoir!And so you won't be too disappointed, here is a glimpse of the man...they say the eyes are the window to one's soul...

On the Twelvth Day of Christmas...

On the twelvth day of Christmas my true love gave to me Twelve Romance Readers Coming...
Eleven Slaveboys Kneeling, Ten Toys All Waterproof! Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight French Maids Dusting;) Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator!

Happy Holidays,
Hugs
Roxy

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas...

Eleven Slaveboys Kneeling...
Ten Toys All Waterproof! Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight French Maids Dusting;) Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator

On the Tenth Day of Christmas...

"On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Ten Toys All Waterproof! (Cause girl is a total water bondage baby*grin*)
Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight French Maids Dusting;) Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator."

Yowzah! Check out these GREAT ... Waterproof ... Very Adult Toys!!

The circumference on this toy is perfect—the vaginal arm is big enough to make this user feel full and a bit stretched, but not so big as to be painful. The anal probe is perfectly sized as well.The veins are raised enough to be palpable and add a wonderful sensation when thrusting. The speeds range from a gentle caress to “oh god ohgod ohgod DAMN” with a slight twist of the cap.
See Toys for Tarts Review...




These waterproof pink anal beads feature a firm yet flexible plastic stalk and a tantalizing vibrator built into the tip.



Bendable
Waterproof BuddyOkay, this one is cutesy...almost too cutesy, with raised hearts on the side...but its bendy, flexy...so we'll see

A.M Wonderful Surprises

I love to wake up to pleasant surprises in my email...
This morning I woke up to a note from Darragha:

"I've written a "short" and posted it in the HOT HOUSE section of Liquid Silver Books' Reader's Forum . You'll need to be a member to read it...but it may just tickle your fancy. Enjoy! A snippet is posted below. When you "join" the forum, you'll need to check the box for the "over 18" section. To deter spammers, new members must reply to two posts before they can start a new thread.

Sometimes, you just gotta write what you're thinking about. Leave it to me to be cleaning my house for the holiday hellatives and be thinking about a M/s relationship.*****Enjoy this impromtu short. Maybe I'll, ummm...flesh it out...I may need Roxy Harte's help, however. I see the title looming before me...BOOK NIGHT"

Darragha


So, after reading the email...of course I raced over to LSRF to find this new "short"...and Darragha amazed me once again with her ability to make me FEEL in the first few pages. Without asking her permission I am posting a small excerpt here... so hopefully I will get her blessing to leave it on my blog. By hitting the LSRF link above, you can register as she instructed above and read the full short. Personally, I hope this Short finds itself becoming a Full Length quickly and I would be a very willing "proofreader" because Darragha has me hooked....

Excerpt to BOOK NIGHT by Darragha Foster.
“Tonight, you shall call me Master. You shall wear my collar and act as a slave should.”

“Ah, a little role-playing. All right. But I’ve never been into the whole Master/slave thing. It’s degrading and demeaning to women,” I replied.

“Oh, really? I have seen the gleam in your eyes when you read the line, be proud of your slave heart aloud to the group. You have the strong heart of a slave. You have the broad heart of a woman who knows she can be owned. It is almost impossible for a girl to keep her thoughts or feelings from her master. He knows her too well.”

“All that you get from hearing me read aloud?” I asked.

“Kneel,” he again commanded.

It took him over an hour to get me to kneel. He held his hands behind his back and calmly, very patiently, encouraged me to give myself over to him. To give up control. Control. I had never given up control.

He recited from Beasts of Gor, the book we’d been reading in our literature circle. It had been introduced to the group as a joke. After we finished the first in the series, Tarnsman of Gor, we agreed to read the entire series. “Once a girl truly understands that she is a slave, and there is no escape for her, once she understands it truly, emotionally, categorically, intellectually, physiologically, totally, deeply, profoundly, in every cell in her beautiful body, a fantastic transformation occurs in her. She then knows she is truly a slave. She then becomes wild and free, and sexual, and cares not that she might be scorned by the free either for her miserable condition or helpless appetites; she knows she will be what she must; she has no choice; she is slave.”

I balked. “I will call no man Master. Ever.”

He brought his hands around. In them he held a simple leather collar.

I shook my head. “I am not a slave.”

He laughed. “On Gor, it is said that free women are slaves who have not yet been collared.” He was quoting again. Magicians of Gor. I was beginning to hate the series.

“It’s a reading group, Antwon, not a slave market,” I replied.

“Wear my collar. Find the joy and serenity that comes from being owned. You shall want for nothing, experience everything and truly understand what it is to be a sexual creature. When you wear my collar.”

“I am in control of my destiny. No man…” I began.

Yeah, I'm hooked Darragha...bring on the FULL LENGTH ... PLEEASSSE!!

/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
And in other Awesome AM News Happenings...

Sacred Secrets has been placed in the TOP TWENTY HIGHEST RATED EBOOKS over at SeXrotica.net

I am in the TOP SELLERS LIST over at Fictionwise eBooks

So, all in all, it is the beginning of an AWESOME DAY...

On the Ninth Day of Christmas

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight French Maids Dusting;) Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator."

On the Eigth Day of Christmas...

"On the Eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eight French Maids Dusting;) Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator."

****So this little maid was just too darn cute to be forced into dusting duty...

On The Seventh Day of Christmas...

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Seven Sensual Glass Menageries! Six fun shapes from Liberator, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator."

On The Sixth Day Of Christmas...

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...fun shapes from Liberator! Five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps and a talking head vibrator."

So here's the scoop: Sir asked me what I wanted for Christmas ... I was web surfing at the time ... so, I asked, "Are you on the net?"

He smuggly said, "Of course." (Yes, we are such geeks.)

I took him here: http://www.liberatorshapes.com/z_black_cinema_ramp.php

First, I wanted to gage his reaction to soft toys...
I love the Esse
Also on the list would be the Ramp ...
But honestly, where I really wanted to take him to was here ...

http://www.liberatorshapes.com/z_black_products_escape.php

Because really, soft is good, messy is lots better...don't you agree?




P.S. to Sir: Don't forget oil (light sesame, almond, or non scented baby oil)

Another Sacred Secrets Review!

I love opening my email in the morning to find a review! Yeah!!!!!!!

And to be honest, this is my first review where the reviewer didn't give me a GLOWING review...instead offering a B. For a moment I was saddened by that, but then I read the review and I realized that I affected her on a truly emotional level. In fact, so much so, that she admits that she had to take a week for the read to sink in enought to write about it. So in my mind--that--is a double whammy YEAH!

I love to challenge boundaries, affect someone on an emotional level, and leave that person thinking about a book long after they finished it. In my mind, when a reader affects me that way, leaving me unable to forget their book...it was a damn good book.

I take Sandies Review as a total complement.

Printed Here In it's entirety or you can visit her LINK:

Title:
Sacred Secrets
Author:
Roxy Harte
Year published:
2006
Is this book part of a series? If so, which one? What book is this in the series?
Yes, I believe this is the first book in this series...bit unclear though.
editted note from author: Yes, this book is a part of the series Chronicles Of Surrender, slated to be a six book series.
My grade:
B++
Why did you get this book?
It sounded hawt
Do you like the cover?
It's a bit odd but how wish I had a body as good as the cover models. Should have cut back on the beer years ago....LOL.
Did you enjoy the book?
Yes I did. It was a very erotic and hawt read.

I have to say I've thought about what to write for this review for a week now. I've read it and been thinking...what to say?!

I have to say that when I finished reading the book I felt uncomfortable. I wasn't exactly expecting the ending...nor my discomfort with the herione's choices. But, this author never let me down...the story kept moving and kept me on an emotional roller coaster. Even now, a week after reading the dang book I'm wondering if I liked this book or it scared me.
This book is pure erotica. Don't bother to read it if you are not comfortable with BDSM, multiple partners, gay sex or gender bending questions. If you are looking for a very hawt erotic read, I think this has something for everyone. I was wondering if the plot of the book altered to allow for sequels or additional books in this series? It seemed that just when I was comfortable with the plot and choices, it changed. Was I pissed at that? You bet. Was I pretty hawt after reading this dang thing? You bet.

Personally, I need some happily ever afters in my reading. I can't read a straight diet of erotica. It's just too much and I think I internalize too much of it. It starts rattling around up there along with work and life and I'm not quite sure what to make of everything. So, if you are a bit odd like me, read this when you won't caught up and thinking too seriously about this kinda stuff.
The story revolves around a writer sent into the BDSM world to write an expose. Only she discovers herself in some sense, by losing herself. I wasn't comfortable with that part...nor was I too thrilled with who I considered the hero but we all made it through just fine....I think.

Anything else?

The author's website shows 2 more books coming out next year early and mid 2007.
Let me know what you think about the book if you have read it...I'm curious if anyone else was a bit discombobulated by this book.

Sandie


So there it is...Sandie's review from Sandie's Reads.
I would like to thank Sandie for the review and also ask, since she posed the question: Can you truly discover who you are, in a sense, find yourself, if you don't lose yourself a bit first?

And to my Readers...please visit Sandie's Review and COMMNENT because she asked for input from those who read the book to comment...so please, go, COMMENT!!
Hugs
Roxy

PS...
Later tonight I will be posting the next of the Twelve Days of Christmas...and trust me, you don't want to miss this! However, you must be willing to visit the links...or you will miss the BEST parts!

On The Fifth Day of Christmas...

"On the fifth day of
Christmas my true love gave to me, five vibrating rings, four ass smacks, three butt plugs,
two nipple clamps
and a talking head vibrator."

Hmmm, a vibrating cock ring, now that's an adult toy I need in my toy chest.Went over to Toys for Tarts to see what they had to say about Cock Rings...
"Cock rings are multi-purpose devices. Initially developed to aid in prolonging or enhancing an erection, they've evolved to include clitoral stimulation -- either via a nubby extension and/or a bullet vibe."

Okay, I'm sold...tell me where to get one!
Not to be disappointed Babeland had just what I was looking for...too many to choose from looking for...omg...how will I ever choose just one??

1. Contact High looks like fun, promising that it hits the "right spot" during partner sex and handy with no confusing battery packs to wind around you as you change positions. Hmmm...this does sound interesting, the description reads, "the extra-long extension vibrates gently whenever you make contact with it."
Roxy Interest Level: HIGH

2. Betty Jo looks like a baby bunny, a blue baby bunny, a little too cutesy for Roxy though the ad copy reads, "a couple's cock ring with dual vibes means you both get optimal vibration. The silky-smooth silicone cock ring sports two vibrators with separate four-speed controls, making it easier than ever to stimulate the clitoris, the penis—and all the nerve endings in between—from a variety of positions."
So even though the ad copy got my attention, blue bunnies are not high on my gift wish list.
Roxy Interest Level: LOW

3.Trojan Elexa Cock Ring/Condom Combo is disposable, discreet, and seems to make big promises..."Now safe sex can be sensational and spontaneous, thanks to the first-ever disposable vibrating cock ring and condom set known as the Elexa. The soft, flexible, vibrating cock ring vibrates for 20 minutes (maybe you should buy two, stud), stimulating both wearer and partner, and then can simply be tossed away. And the nubby, stretchy ring is designed to be used with the included deluxe condom, making safer sex more sensational for everybody."

Hey, Priceless, where are you? I need a test dummy cuase I'm allergic to latex and can't use this one...Be a doll, go find a man and give this one a test for me? I'll be waiting for your Review!
Roxy Interest Level: Passed the Buck.

On The Third and Fourth Days of Christmas...

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four ass smacks, three butt plugs, two nipple clamps, and a talking head vibrator.

Yeah, I know, I non-chalantly slid the four butt plugs in there without too much ado...peer pressure...I say screw it...get over it...it's just sex toys.

Also, there's a wee excerpt for you today from Sacred Revelations:

I lay the paddle down on the table, noting that she relaxes fully only once the paddle is no longer in my hand. I watch her watching me, seeing her lick her lips when my hand falls over a long handled vibrator. Lifting it, I switch it on, so that she hears the faint buzz. She fidgets as I walk toward her and I know by the reaction how needy she is, so close to orgasm, so far from it as well.
I run the vibrating head over her calf, teasing the back of her ankle before drawing it up her calf, nudging the inside of her knee to spread her legs wider before sliding up the inside of her thigh, keeping it away from her pussy, knowing how badly she wants me to touch her there. I take the vibrator down the inside of her other thigh. She hisses, not daring to beg. I rub the vibrator over the backs of her thighs and along the curved edge of her ass. Switching the vibrator to my left hand, I rub the vibrator inside the creases of her knees, it is a sweet spot for her. Tickling. She dances on her toes. I ease my right middle finger along the slick edge of her labia.
“You are so wet for me. You like this don’t you sweetheart?”
“Yes,” she moans, lifting her hips.
I press my finger into her, feeling her vaginal lips grip around me. I end the torture, drawing the vibrator up to her clit, tapping then holding it over her most sensitive spot, making her scream as she rides out her orgasm, waiting until she sags against the rail before I pull the vibrator away. Turning it off, I lay it on the table and reach for my next implement of pleasure, a special gift I bought for her and have yet to find the right moment to give to her. It is an extravagance, a solid metal butt plug, the handle shaped like a birds head, the beak holding a diamond setting. I hold it down for her to see, “I bought this for you.”
I tilt my head down to see her better, seeing her eyes glow. “Before you ask, yes, it’s a real diamond.” I smile at her. “Always play with men of means, if you can, it’s so much more fun than getting shagged by a man who shoves a ninety-nine cent fingernail polish bottle up you butt and calls it plugged.”
She giggles and the sound is music to my ears. “It sounds like you may have some experience in that department as well, Lord Fyre?”
I wink, “None I’m willing to admit to.” I stay kneeling, letting her see me play with the smooth edges of the plug, it will be the largest I’ve ever used on her. It will be a heavy mass inside her, stretching and filling her, but the best surprise will be the weight.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispers.
“Yes, beautiful women deserve beautiful, expensive toys.”
Standing, I rub her ass, stroking over the dark purple circles very softly, fanning out my fingers to caress every bit of her bright pink skin. I smack her lightly with my bare hand, smacking as I slide the plug through her vaginal wetness, slicking it, then pushing quick and hard to insert the butt-plug into her anus. It is large and she grunts, but lifts her ass to take it. God, she pleases me.
“Wiggle your ass, sweetheart.” I want to see the diamond sparkle in the candle light.
She wiggles and it is a glorious sight.
“Are you ready for me to hurt you some more?”
“Yes, Lord Fyre.”
“You want me to hurt you while you hold your new pricey toy inside of you?”
“Yes,” she sobs, closing her eyes, feeling the weight inside her.
“Squeeze it with your muscles.”
The metal plug bobs and I know she does what she is told. “Keep squeezing it until you can’t squeeze any longer. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”

Dimensions of Roxy

Yesterday, I didn't blog, partly because yes, it was a hetic day...half day work, movie with Beautiful Girl, fight with mall traffic, Holiday Light display visit, yummy pizza downtown with friends, couple of beers...home by midnight. Normally, I would have blogged at midnight.

My heart just wasn't in it.
Maybe it's the holidays...bah humbug.
Maybe it was well intentioned friends striking a nerve.

I am what I am...a saying becoming so cliched on the internet, especially Myspace and similar sites, that a reading further only proves that the writer is so dishearted by those others in their lives who cannot accept who they are...that they are to the point of making no apologies. I have a similar saying n my personal page, a quote by Dr. Suess, ""Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

That pretty much sums it up.
So, a little criticism of my Flog Blog shouldn't matter, right? And it's not my reader's who did the criticizing...it was friends in my life who have never read my book... or so they say. So, why are they dropping by? Is it because it's cool to have a friend who is an erotica writer, someone who in their mind is living on the edge a bit, as long as they can safely send those they would be sending to my page to prove they do indeed know me. But then it got a little too risque and they had to point out that I'm a little out of control. It seems sex toys are a bit in the, "don't shove it down our throats catagory, because my (mother, aunt, kid) might come to your site and they just couldn't deal with it. On the same note, they love the sentimental stories about my kids, boyfriend moments are okay if they aren't too graffic...and don't mention that lasagna is orgasmic, because food can't really be orgasmic (hmm, eyes rolled back in head, moaning, good enough to be a little fuzzy brained and light-headed over brings to mind the adjective orgasmic, maybe I'm wrong but in my mind, and mouth, my tastebuds definitely orgasmed) ex-boyfriend, husbands, lovers might be okay...but the whole "save the planet" stuff...does anyone really want to be reminded?

So, I guess that's the question, for those of you who wish to comment, what do you like best about the blog and what could you do without?

And without further ado, What I'm Thinking About Today...
I met some friends at the Bistro on Friday for some local live music...a good time until the frends I had joined started having a verbal judo pissing match regarding who had spent more on the holidays...I'm just not into it. I was into the friend who admitted that part of their extended family shopping presents were actually donations to organizations in their name...ex...Breast Cancer Awareness, Save a wolf, feed a starving child...

I am so PROUD of you D! Even though you got some flack mid-conversation...you are awesome.

Which brings to me what musician Jean Michal Jarre is doing this weekend in Morraco to bring attention to the Global Water Crisis, and yes, I'm going to give you a few water facts that you maybe did, or didn't really want to know:
On our planet a child dies every seventeen seconds as a result of dirty water.
The US is a major contributor to the water crisis, consuming the most bottled water of any other country and thus depleting the natural resource in other parts of the world.

And totally unrelated but equally important, the Twelve Days of Christams continues with days Three and Four...

On The Second Day of Christmas...

"On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two nipple clamps, and a talking head vibrater."

On The First Day Of Christmas...

Yes, Roxy is going for the melodramatic...it's been one of those kind of days...
As in, how much I really don't like the holidays anyway kind of days...

I actually used to like the holidays...the tradition stuff, like...

burning cookies and icing them with the kids so you were so appalled by the ooey gooey mess covering them you didn't notice that they were hard as a rock and singed badly tradition.

midnight mass with the inlaws because...it was tradition

new dresses for the darling girls so that when we lined the pew together we were matchy-matchy tradition

spend enough money on the holidays that it takes an entire year to pay off the credit card tradition

then, I became really, really jaded...
gave up on the entire ho,ho,ho happy holiday scene and gave up along with it all the beloved traditions.

there will be no burned gooey cookies, no mass, no matchy, matchy...

however, there will be a new tradition
Roxy's countdown to Christmas, because like it or not, I am still a sucker for a good Christmas Carol...

So here we go,
"On the first day of Christmas my true love (better give to me or I'll effing give one to myself) Talking Head Vibrator."

yeah, I know, you can hardly wait to find out what happens on day two;)

seriously, check out the sex toy review on this thing...

From Toys for Tarts: Talking Head Vibrator
My Little Secret LLC's "Talking Head Vibrator" is a rabbit style vibrator with a voice-recorder chip in its base. Instead of just a steady buzzing drone, users can record their voice (or someone else's voice) to enhance their experience with audio
(no kidding, celebrity fantasy voices are included...check it out...and in true holiday tradition...it's on SALE!)

For the gal with a long distance Dom and a new penchant for phone sex...I'm seeing real potential...

You know I love you, Sir

Additional Santa Gift Ideas

after reading amazing testamonials I decided to check out the Vaginal Sucker myself...and no the model isn't me...go here to see on the shelf
The ad promises,"Much like a blood flow rush to the penis helps keep stimulation for the male this Vagina Pump helps the woman do the same thing, but bringing an increased flow of blood to her clitoris thereby increasing sensitivity and stimulations. The outer cup is placed directly over the vagina and pumping begins. While pumping you can watch your labia grow as the blood flows inside and you'll feel arousal. Once done you can enjoy a nice full labia and heighten sexual sensations."

If you decide to add this to your Santa List...do shave in advance of play...

so if I sent Santa a list of what I might want him to bring me...
do you think the elves are up to grown-up toys?
I never thought so, until a friend shared this with me.


Now, I think Santa is my kind of jolly...

Roxy's Naughty Girl List:
Suede Flogger
Massage Oil...prefer sesame but almond will do
Nipple Clamps...various intensities
Restraints
Wooden Paddle

And as an afterthought, a nice tall pole...just so I don't become as desperate as the lovely girl in the video:

Writing Today

Hello all...today I'm devoting extra time to the edits required to get Sacred Revelations to LSB...but I did't want anyone to feel left out...

Here's a wee wicked tease from Sacred Revelations, just cause I'm being ornery...

Joining him, I kept my eyes lowered, stepping back just a little when I saw his hand reach for me. Reflex. Not ducking, not exactly, but defensive. The reaction was met by a heavy sigh, “Who hurt you? Who made you lose your trust?” He shook his head, “Not Garrett.”
Then his hand was near my face, not touching, reaching for me in what seemed like slow motion, trying not to spook me, as one trained might approach a new horse, or an unknown dog, but maybe my mind was just having a hard time accepting that he was going to touch me. His fingers were light on my jaw, lifting my face with an easy pressure, forcing my gaze up to his. I directed my gaze away.
“Look at me.” His voice smooth and easy, but not like warm brandy, more like summer thunder, soft, rolling, non-threatening. Our gazes collided when I finally brought myself to lift my eyes to his and the force of will, coming from his, was a scary thing that I quickly looked away from a second time.
“Keep your eyes on mine.”
Swallowing, I looked and forced myself to keep looking long after my bravado faded. A slow trembling started in my shoulders, uncontrollable. I feared him for no other reason than once he’d kissed me and once he’d entranced me. Both times, in my mind, I thought of him as Lucifer, the great deceiver; but standing before me, I forced myself to remember that he was a man, just a man. His scent came to me on the breeze, exotic, unknown, like incense, frankincense, and myrrh, a hint of cinnamon and warm leather.
I wanted to look away but took him all in, his jaw darkened with a hint of five o’clock shadow, adding ruggedness to his well-trimmed mustache and goatee. Lashes, longer and thicker than any I’d ever seen on a man, surrounded his dark brown eyes. Just a man, I told myself again, not a god, not a demon, and still I trembled.
“Are you going to be able to go through with this?” He asked.
“Yes.” I whispered. “I want this, I truly do.”

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

It's a dance...the way we PLAY...checklists, subtle negotiations...even when we don't think we're negotiating...we are

We've all done it, said things in random converstaion...

How do you feel about...?
Have you ever...?
Do you, would you...ever wanna...?
I've dreamnt about doing this...?
I would never do that...maybe...?

Psyche! We take a small step forward...then the fatal words...

We don't have to rush into anything, it was just a thought...
...just an idea that maybe sometime if the time is right...

And two steps back.

Make my heart pound with the promise of the forbidden, the taboo...fill me with the desire to do things not ordinarily done. Things not ordinarily considered as even possible...and so not possible with anyone else...because no one else understands my Shadow Self.

No one gets me...I used to say...and then, Sir, came you.

Promise me Darkness and Follow Through.
I will be yours forever if you do... Yours to do with what you will.
Even the Forbidden.
Even the Scary.

Geez...Don't Make It So Difficult

Learn To Give Head Like You Mean It, Ladies

Because some guys are real jerks...like the guy my friend is seeing...and no, I'm not naming names...but someone posted that some Dick Wad out there asked her to "kiss it" on the second date...now I'm all for fellatio...especially if the guy doesn't call his penis "It"... and when the guy doesn't ASK for it.

So this guy, on date two, would have had two strikes against him in my book just for phrasing the question the way he phrased it...

But what really got me was when she said that after 15 minutes of SERIOUS HEAD and he still didn't come...he laughed at her frustration because in his words, "I never come that way, I was just seeing how long you could last."

Okay, kick that boy to the curb! How many examples of LOSER do we need?

So...here is the directions for Fellatio from eHowToDoJustAboutEverything:
How to Give Oral Sex to a Man
eHow ExpertBy Michael Castleman A sexuality journalist and counselor since 1973, Michael has written for Playboy, Self, Ladies Home Journal, Comopolitan, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Readers Digest, and many other magazines. His latest book is Great Sex: A Man’s Guide to the Secrets of Total-Body Sensuality (Rodale)

According to Castleman the Difficulty Rating = Easy
He explains, "The term for oral sex for men is “fellatio.” It comes from the Latin, fellare, to suck. Fellatio can be profoundly symbolic. For many men, it’s the ultimate in sexual acceptance from a woman. Even when it isn’t, fellatio is an opportunity for the man to lie back and just receive pleasure, which is something many men find very arousing. Fellatio is very wet, which increases the penis’ sensitivity. And most women can be more varied and creative with their lips and tongues than with their vaginas.”

Instructions
STEP 1: Start by kissing the head of his penis.
STEP 2: Next lightly part your lips and lick the head and the corona, the little ridge around the base of the head.
STEP 3: Take the head into your mouth, using your lips and tongue to caress it and the cornona--particularly the frenulum, the part of the corona on the underside of the head.
STEP 4: Eventually, move your head up and down so that your lips caress as much of the shaft as you can comfortably take in your mouth. However, the shaft is considerably less sensitive than the head, corona, and frenulum, so return frequently to these sensitive places--unless the man asks for something different.

OK, I didn't say that they were good directions...but they are step by step...and obviously written by A MAN. I had to stop with Step 4...because I really could subject you to his cure for not liking the taste, fears of swallowing, and have a sweet beverage at hand with a straw to make it TASTE better...

OMG

Theres a little secret to giving fellatio and I'm gonna share because my first husband, who preferred getting head from men, wanted me to be able to give head like a man, so he told me how to do it the right way (according to him)...
1. Don't be too gentle
2. Don't focus on the head too long or you will desensitize their most sensitive spot and then you will be there all night
3. Circle the head, licking softly, alternated with deep, powerful thrusts that "bop" the back of your throat...and if you are fighting with the gag reflex, practice with your own finger, toothbrush etc until you can swirl the back of your throat without gagging.

Still not working?
Tips from The Kama Sutra

*Licking The Penis:Start by licking his penis as if it were an ice cream cone. Hold its base with one hand and repeatedly lick upward alternating the side of the penis you lick.
*The Butterfly Flick:Flick your tongue lightly along the ridge on the underside of his penis. You may need to hold the penis at the base while you learn to do this.
*The Nominal Congress:Take his penis in your hand. Place it between your lips and move it around in your mouth.
*Biting The Sides:Cover the end of the penis with your finger tips. Then kiss and gently nibble the sides (very gently).Pressing Inside:Take his penis into your mouth. Press it with your lips and then take it out.Pressing outside:Press your lips against the end of his penis and kiss it as if drawing it out.
*Rubbing:After kissing his penis lick it all over and pass your tongue over it's end.
*Kissing:Hold his penis in your hand and kiss it as though you were kissing his lower lip.
*Sucking a Mango Fruit:Take his penis half way into your mouth. Suck on it vigorously.
*Swallowing Up:Take the whole length of the penis into your mouth as if tring to swallow it.

If you are doing it right, and yeah, it's gonna take some SERIOUS PRACTICE...any guy should be coming in less than ten minutes... especially if you STOP after the first moan, and keeping your lips near the tip if not barely touching, roll your eyes up at them, and ask sweetly, "Is this the way you like it? Or is there something else you'd like me to do? " Then lick tease the head before asking another question, like, "Do you want me to keep going?"

And remember about the liking it a little rougher part...teasing nips and bites along the shaft, inner thighs etc...will really get him warmed up, so start there.

Any Questions??

Checklists, Negotiations, and Safewords

I remember meeting the New Hotness (easy since it was only a few weeks ago) and thinking...Daammmnnnnnnn...cause yeah, at first sight he really did it for me; however, I merely labeled him eyecandy because I'd made the decision after the last relationship that I would only date men (or women, if the right one came along) who really GOT ME. I was tired of being in relationships with someone who didn't have a clue...

(and I'm really sharing this today for Lila's benefit because she's young, sexy, horney, and still believes that any relationship is better than no relationship at all...and yeah, I've felt that way too. It's the companionship factor. We all want to be held, spoken softly to, and made to believe that fairytales do come true...even if it's Mr. Wrong doing the holding and he talks too loud about things he knows little about, because for a moment in the dark, eyes closed, body trembling, he kindles that belief that HEA could happen. And then the thought process starts that expectations are too high and he really just needs another chance...just say no, Lila, Mr. Right is out there. Someone who will UNDERSTAND your wants and needs even before you have to explain it...)

Which brings me to the title subject of today's post.

What took the New Hotness from merely eyecandy to He's The One in less than a day?
I had real hope brewing under the surface of the ice walls I'd built around myself when I saw he wore a pentagram necklace (Don't discount the virtues of shared spirituality in a relationship, regardless of the religion, because it lifts the entire relationship to a whole other level)...

Then the ice cracked when I threw out a subtly coded BDSM remark (because we were at a very Vanilla place) and he remarked back, "Safewords are good." Then he walked away and I soooo knew I had to find him in the crowd. I did. Slipped him my number, which I NEVER do and hoped...

He called. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh.
Long, serious talks followed and the very long-distance BDSM relationship was born. It became evident from the beginning that our conversations weren't going to tread safe ground but scramble over the rough terrain of conversations usually reserved for after you know each other a little better...meaning after the first sex encounter. We jumped from, "Where's your favorite restaurant," to "How do you feel about..." in one breath. Within a very short time I knew how he felt about all the major topics on what is traditionally the BDSM checklist, and he knew mine.

Then, he threw out a scenario, I took the bait, saying, "That would be fun." Not realizing we'd negotiated our first scene. Yikes.

It dawned on me only after I was in my car, driving to his place in the pouring rain for our first Play Date that we hadn't really discussed Safewords. I never really thought about it because I've only safed out once ever and it seemed unlikely I would safeout with the New Hotness but really...he was a total Stranger. Seriously.

I immediately called not one but two friends and told them EXACTLY where I would be and arranged safe calls at designated times...okay, I felt a little better...but still nervous as hell. So, pulling into his drive, I called him. He thought my nervousness was cute and told me to stop worrying that if I want to stop the scene that's all it will take is me saying so...and then he walked out to the car and took my hand and led me inside.

Since that moment, I haven't had a single thought about Safewords...


**After writing this post I came across an entertaing page...please, check it out...and when you do, scroll to the bottom of the page....fast, because the video starts playing as soon as the page loads...you'll have time post-video for checking out the individual pics:
CZECH SEX MACHINE MUSEUM

Call me Matchmaker

Over at the author forum, it has been suggested that I fly to L.A. and act as matchmaker to author and friend Lila Dubois. The others have suggested a donation fund to pay for the ticket to get me there...

I think it would be a supreme personal sacrifice but for Lila I would be willing to fly to L.A., traipse through one BDSM Club after another, looking for Mr. Right so that she can get rid of the loser she's been seeing up until now once and for all.

So here's the itenerary:

Miss Kitty's Parlour Los Angeles

The Chateau Los Angeles

The Scenery San Francisco

SF Citadel, San Francisco

Where's that plane ticket??????????????????????????????????????????????

Writer's Who Make Us Think (and feel) II

Okay, it must be a full moon or something because I have posted not once but thrice today!! (See also Roxy's Readers Forum)
Oh yeah, it is a full moon...my daughter, Beautiful Girl, actually challenged me to dance naked under the full moon tonight...as in TONIGHT...because it's like fifteen degrees outside...and I politely challenged back, "You first."

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...and yes, I feel a SOAPBOX coming on...

Is anyone following the comments section of my blogs, because seriously, the BEST stuff happens behind the scenes in those pesky hidden comments that everyone seems to not pay attention to. Take today for instance...

First, there was Lila...
Lila said...
This... THIS?!? is your blog after the weekend of amazingness?Agh! I need details!My date... did not go well. I am mortally embarassed by what happened. I think I need like lessons or something. Will you teach me?
1:11 PM

So, Lila, if I'm gonna teach you...I NEED DETAILS!!
1.How did the date not go well?
2.How were you mortally embarressed?

And as far as THIS...after my weekend of AMAZINGNESS...otherwise known as THE NEW HOTNESS aka Long-distance BDSM God... I actually did provide details or weren't you paying attention to LSB's private posts today? Shame on you and now for the benefit of all concerned and sincerely hoping that HE isn't reading this...here is my weekends highlight:
I Posted at LSB:
The New Hotness in my life is still amazing...still way too f'ing far away...but that said, we are managing to play enough to be entertaining and addictive...Hmmm, details?Is this room PG?I'll try to remain calm...He took me to an adult toy superstore...to get Kama Sutra oil and Kama Sutra gel...oil good but sticky, eww...and mint oil? Can yolu say excrutiating?Think about rubbing Ben-gay on your sensitive parts and multiply times ten...I'm pretty sure it ranked right up there with the HOT PEPPER punishment scene from Sacred Secrets...he did however distract me with kisses until the burn wore off...mmmm...yeah, he kissed that well to distract me from the burning flames below.And after all of that, eek, pain, wiggling, kissing...orgasm was times ten...so his smart assed sadist comment was "See, it was worth it..."And I agreed post-mind blowing orgasm, that I would be willing to try the mint gel AGAIN!Okay, Lady Lila...Your turn...

Then came the OMG post from Lila in my Private Box....
Lila Posted: **
Well, until I actually get some of permission to publish this most embarressing moment -- you the reading audience will have to leave it up to your imagination how beautifully hot red-head with the totally fuckable name was mortally embarressed -- gaged by my response to her...

I Posted:
Lila, Lila, Lila....lessons?????? You need to start from scratch with a different guy...because this guy...let's call him Mr. Jack Off... lose him!There are lots of subby guys out there begging for a hot chick to give them permission to make you feel good!And if you'd rather be the one tied up and spanked...same same baby, lots of great men out there all looking for someone as smart and wonderfully talented as you!Good grief, don't make me fly to Hollywood to kick this guy's backside! Cause after that I'm coming after you with a flogger for putting up with him after the first ten minutes!

So, Note to Lila, even though your Private Post to me was mortally humiliating...your rendition had me LAUGHING my ASS off because you told the story so well. Your writing ability is amazing...please make this Private post Ch2 and expand on it!

**author added
Check out Lila's Totally Humiliating Date in the comments section (posted with her permission)

Then came Darragha...
LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...
Wow. I wrote that, huh? I swear I channelled Love's Second Sight. Whoo...I'm getting hot!And as for Sacred Secrets, darling...nothing will come between me and my coffee. Nothing! I've been recommending Sacred Secrets to those I know in the D/s scene. Problem is, I know mostly subs, and they say they have to ask their Master for permission to read the thing. Grrrr. Even a slave or sub should get to read Sacred Secrets!
4:26 PM

Now, I am on a SOAPBOX...
Did you say that the subs have to get permission for what they read?????????????
Give me a fucking break.
And yes, I can say that because once upon a time I was TOTALLY CONTROLLED by a man in a D/s relationship who supposedly had God on his side...and damn it, I've earned the right through hours of counselling to regain my self-worth that a relationship that controlling is out of control. So, please, if you know someone who is THAT controlled, lift them up, share some advice, help them to find their way out of an unhealthy relationship and into a healthy one.

Writers Who Make Us Think (and feel)

Yesterday, a friend of mine over at LSB told me that she had mentioned me in an interview she had done for Fallen Angel Reviews...of course, I raced right over to see what Darragha had said about me because for one, she is of only a handful of authors who has really "gotten my attention". I say that because although I love to read, few authors make me think about what they've written for very long after I've read it let alone make me feel something long enough that it stays with me forever...
Laurrell K Hamilton can do it, Diana Gabaldon does it every time, and Sara Douglas can really get me. Then, there is this woman named Darragha Foster who once wrote in an excerpt from Loves Second Sight:

Thorgunna took Leif into her warm mouth, circling her tongue around the tip of his thickening maleness, pushing the foreskin back with her lips, exposing the sensitive tip to the warmth of her tongue. She stroked the base of the Greenlandic beast with a hand while allowing the head to dive into her mouth. She could taste her own ardor mixed with his salty passion on his flesh.
"I find it quite unbelievable that you have never done this before. Thorgunna, please, lie back. I need you now, woman," Leif moaned.
Thorgunna waved a hand, cutting him off, continuing her battle with the monster, now fully under her control. Leif shuddered, trying to pull away, to warn Thorgunna that his seed was brimming, but she did not stop her rhythmical washing until the throbbing, pulsating beast was fully at rest.
"By the gods, Thorgunna," Leif moaned, dizzy from the force of the orgasm. Thorgunna looked at Leif with a commanding glance, "Are you certain I cannot accompany you?"
Leif fell back against the skins, "Aye, but for your sweet mouth upon me I'd sell my soul to a devil to stay here!"
"That would make two of us, then," Thorgunna said, rising to rinse her face in the washbowl.

Wow, Darragha had cast me back to a time when rugged men were softened only by the pelts they wore for warmth and women were strong enough to lull a man back to their arms again and again. It is the root of great legends. Yeah, yeah...there is that part where she pushed back his foreskin...is there anything more erotic than that? And the part where she made him come in her mouth...

Yeah, Darragha, you had me...
So, when I heard that she had mentioned me in an interview...I was thrilled but nervous. I mean, what could Darragha have to say about me? Because I was pretty certain from talks we'd shared that D/s wasn't her thing. Here is an escerpt from her interview:

Q:Who are your favorite authors? Who inspires you?

A:I was first inspired by Shakespeare. No kidding. Age 9. Blammo. Discovered Shakespeare and went nuts over it. Got in trouble in school for writing Hamlet's soliloquy on the chalkboard during recess in the 4th grade. My mother went ballistic over that. "What other 9 year old do you have who are reading and memorizing Shakespeare, huh?" She told 'em. Norton Juster (The Phanton Tollbooth), Ursula K. LeGuin (The Earthsea series), John Norman (The Gor books), Libba Bray (A Great and Terrible Beauty) are some faves. Oddly, I read more non-fiction for pleasure. I loved Judith Levine's "My Year Without Buying It." Could I do what she did? I think about it every day, but haven't done it yet! I read lots of ebooks. Everyone should read ebooks. Ebooks totally rock! I recently read "Sacred Secrets" by Roxy Harte and it made me sooooo angry! The book brought out lots of very strong emotions in me. And that's what a good book should do!

Wow.
I did for Darragha what I intend for every reader...I triggered emotion. Yes!
Love my writing or hate my writing, as long as you FEEL my writing, I've done my job...because if a writer can make you feel, you will be changed, and you will remember...

Thank you, Darragha...I'll be forever pushing back foreskins in my dreams... and the interview mention was very nice, too.

What's On My Mind Today? Sexual Torture

Okay, it isn't really my fault that my mind has warped around to slightly twisted very early in the morning...I mean, I've already had a very busy day...in a good way:

As many of you have heard, I'm in a long distance relationship with a new Dom, sometimes referred to as Sir, sometimes, like when talked to friends over at the LSB Forum, solely referred to as HIM....and well, long distance is still long distance...and this morning I had to take matters into my own hands, call the man, and initiate some good old fashioned flirting tease...which led to an experiment in phone sex...blushing and giggling but had a good time...

then, as a warm down, I wandered over to LSB to see what my friend, Lila, was up to lately and realized that I missed three days of conversation...shame on me because she put out a call to Roxy days ago for assistance:

Lila Dubois wrote: " Well you have left me with nothing but torture. I am sorry it had to come to this. *wanders off to find Roxy for pointers* "

This was my Forum reply...three days late...sorry, Lila

:D Roxy's List of Favorite Torture Techniques:D

1. Tie torturee up in a straight back wooden chair

2. Lay out implements of torture on a nearby table...include candle, lighter, scissors and other inducements of fear...syringe, big scary knife...

3. Blindfold torturee

4. Taking scissors, make cutting sounds close to face...proceed to very slowly and seductively cut off every inch of clothing

5. skin stroking and licking is very important at this point to put your torturee at ease (and you do want them at ease for a little while before you crank up the tention another notch)

Lila,

Can you take it from here or do you need more pointers??

Hugs,
Roxy

But now, here I am...sitting at my desk at the real job, and looking very professional and productive as I type,type,type ... and all I can think about is rope, and the feel of cold metal as my clothing is cut off...

have I ever mentioned that it's a real bitch being a switch sometimes...because I love to think up the nasty and dish it out but taking it....oh yeah, letting someone figure out how to push my buttons? I can really get into that.

Also, in celebration of my finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel on finishing Sacred Revelations...there is a very HOT (did I say HOT?) video over at the forum...check it out...unless you hate seeing the naked female form...and trust me on this...she is an EXQUISITE naked woman. How do you say YUMMY in Italian?

So, see for yourself.
Hugs
Roxy