12.10.2006

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

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It's a dance...the way we PLAY...checklists, subtle negotiations...even when we don't think we're negotiating...we are

We've all done it, said things in random converstaion...

How do you feel about...?
Have you ever...?
Do you, would you...ever wanna...?
I've dreamnt about doing this...?
I would never do that...maybe...?

Psyche! We take a small step forward...then the fatal words...

We don't have to rush into anything, it was just a thought...
...just an idea that maybe sometime if the time is right...

And two steps back.

Make my heart pound with the promise of the forbidden, the taboo...fill me with the desire to do things not ordinarily done. Things not ordinarily considered as even possible...and so not possible with anyone else...because no one else understands my Shadow Self.

No one gets me...I used to say...and then, Sir, came you.

Promise me Darkness and Follow Through.
I will be yours forever if you do... Yours to do with what you will.
Even the Forbidden.
Even the Scary.

3 comments:

Lila said...

You were born to fear the dark but walk in it, to push ever further into it's murky black, until the safety of the night surrounds you.

It is both your place to recoil from that dark, and to expect the strong hand you have given yourself to lead you there as you tremble with fear.

You have done no wrong.

Lila (again) said...

I have started making a list of that 'the thing' could have been and it is alternately reall hot and total freaky.

Right now sex with a miniature pony is topping the list so for the sake of my mental health tell me what is going on. Or if you can't, just let me know if you are okay with the situation.

Roxy Harte said...

I'm fine...he just pulled back the request until I was ready...saying that it wasn't something we'd ever have to do...and now I regret not being enthusiastic...or awed or something...

So, my feelings got hurt...
But I haven't told him my feelings are hurt...
So I'm pathetic