Writer's Who Make Us Think (and feel) II

Okay, it must be a full moon or something because I have posted not once but thrice today!! (See also Roxy's Readers Forum)
Oh yeah, it is a full moon...my daughter, Beautiful Girl, actually challenged me to dance naked under the full moon tonight...as in TONIGHT...because it's like fifteen degrees outside...and I politely challenged back, "You first."

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...and yes, I feel a SOAPBOX coming on...

Is anyone following the comments section of my blogs, because seriously, the BEST stuff happens behind the scenes in those pesky hidden comments that everyone seems to not pay attention to. Take today for instance...

First, there was Lila...
Lila said...
This... THIS?!? is your blog after the weekend of amazingness?Agh! I need details!My date... did not go well. I am mortally embarassed by what happened. I think I need like lessons or something. Will you teach me?
1:11 PM

So, Lila, if I'm gonna teach you...I NEED DETAILS!!
1.How did the date not go well?
2.How were you mortally embarressed?

And as far as THIS...after my weekend of AMAZINGNESS...otherwise known as THE NEW HOTNESS aka Long-distance BDSM God... I actually did provide details or weren't you paying attention to LSB's private posts today? Shame on you and now for the benefit of all concerned and sincerely hoping that HE isn't reading this...here is my weekends highlight:
I Posted at LSB:
The New Hotness in my life is still amazing...still way too f'ing far away...but that said, we are managing to play enough to be entertaining and addictive...Hmmm, details?Is this room PG?I'll try to remain calm...He took me to an adult toy superstore...to get Kama Sutra oil and Kama Sutra gel...oil good but sticky, eww...and mint oil? Can yolu say excrutiating?Think about rubbing Ben-gay on your sensitive parts and multiply times ten...I'm pretty sure it ranked right up there with the HOT PEPPER punishment scene from Sacred Secrets...he did however distract me with kisses until the burn wore off...mmmm...yeah, he kissed that well to distract me from the burning flames below.And after all of that, eek, pain, wiggling, kissing...orgasm was times ten...so his smart assed sadist comment was "See, it was worth it..."And I agreed post-mind blowing orgasm, that I would be willing to try the mint gel AGAIN!Okay, Lady Lila...Your turn...

Then came the OMG post from Lila in my Private Box....
Lila Posted: **
Well, until I actually get some of permission to publish this most embarressing moment -- you the reading audience will have to leave it up to your imagination how beautifully hot red-head with the totally fuckable name was mortally embarressed -- gaged by my response to her...

I Posted:
Lila, Lila, Lila....lessons?????? You need to start from scratch with a different guy...because this guy...let's call him Mr. Jack Off... lose him!There are lots of subby guys out there begging for a hot chick to give them permission to make you feel good!And if you'd rather be the one tied up and spanked...same same baby, lots of great men out there all looking for someone as smart and wonderfully talented as you!Good grief, don't make me fly to Hollywood to kick this guy's backside! Cause after that I'm coming after you with a flogger for putting up with him after the first ten minutes!

So, Note to Lila, even though your Private Post to me was mortally humiliating...your rendition had me LAUGHING my ASS off because you told the story so well. Your writing ability is amazing...please make this Private post Ch2 and expand on it!

**author added
Check out Lila's Totally Humiliating Date in the comments section (posted with her permission)

Then came Darragha...
LSB Author, Darragha Foster said...
Wow. I wrote that, huh? I swear I channelled Love's Second Sight. Whoo...I'm getting hot!And as for Sacred Secrets, darling...nothing will come between me and my coffee. Nothing! I've been recommending Sacred Secrets to those I know in the D/s scene. Problem is, I know mostly subs, and they say they have to ask their Master for permission to read the thing. Grrrr. Even a slave or sub should get to read Sacred Secrets!
4:26 PM

Now, I am on a SOAPBOX...
Did you say that the subs have to get permission for what they read?????????????
Give me a fucking break.
And yes, I can say that because once upon a time I was TOTALLY CONTROLLED by a man in a D/s relationship who supposedly had God on his side...and damn it, I've earned the right through hours of counselling to regain my self-worth that a relationship that controlling is out of control. So, please, if you know someone who is THAT controlled, lift them up, share some advice, help them to find their way out of an unhealthy relationship and into a healthy one.


Lila Dubois said...

Fast forwards past dinner to walking on the pier. He drags me behind every random building we pass to make out. This is fun because it is late and not a lot of people were out, but he kept pulling up my shirt and jacket and putting his freezing cold hands on my back and exposing my back to the ass-cold wind coming off the water. At one point my teeth started to chatter, since that made it hard to kiss me he started kissing my neck. I had to point out that my teeth would stop chattering if I were actually wearing my clothes.

Fast-forward again to back in the car. It started out great. Not elegant or even legal, but great. Most of my clothes are off and his fumbling finally got me off. It wasn't great cuz it was rushed and, honestly, I was not so much thinking about him. Girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

So I go to return the favor. Hand job for hand job right? About 10 min into this he asks, and I swear this is the truth! "Do you want to kiss it?"

I give him a half horrified half amused look. He's joking right?

He's not. I start to pull back and he grabs me by the hair. This is the point where this hits me as a bad idea. I'm not small or delicate. Jack is only a couple inches taller than me and I have never really had a situation where I couldn't talk someone into submission. Anyway, all of a sudden the fact that he is bigger and stronger than me hits me, and this shows on my face.

He starts apologizing, I bitch him out a little bit and then sit back, more than willing to leave. I say that I think this is a bad idea and that if I wanted random sex I would do a one-nighter at a bar like a normal person and not pretend to be dating. He then says that he’ll do whatever it takes, however many dates I want, because I am gourgeous blah blah. We had been joking about this on the pier and it had felt very romantic and cute, but then here he is pushing for the sex.

Anyway, we make out some more and after about 20 minutes he hints that he would like some attention from me. Lip curled I agree and get to work.

15 MINUTES LATER I am down there thinking ‘what the hell? What am I doing wrong? I’m not bad at this, what’s wrong? Is it because I’m not really into it? Can he tell that?’

Finally every muscle in my ENTIRE FACE is tired as is my hand, and I come up to ask what the deal is. He then tells me that he can NEVER come from blowjobs and never has.

“Well then why did you ask?”
“I thought it would be fun to watch you try.”

WTF! I hit him with a rose and stomped out of the car, more wanting to escape the sheer embarrassment than anything else. This also involved me getting out off the car, realizing my jeans we not actually on all the way, having to get re-dressed and then stamping away. Ruined my exit.

He comes after me, coaxes me back into the car after profusely apologizing. To be fair English is his second language and you can tell because he has a tendency to misuse words or have to stop and think about them, especially when there is no blood in his brain.

As he said memorably at one point: “You talk very very fast, and talk a lot.” He also thinks I have a ‘California accent.’

What a charmer.

Anyway, we are back in the car, and my mood could not be deader. How he is still in the mood I don’t know. So then we discuss options for resolving the situation.

Jack: “I never have a problem coming with penetration.”
Me: “Imagine that. I am not having sex with you in this car. I refuse to have sex in a Honda.”
Jack: “But-“
“What about a dry run?”
“A what?”
“You know, we both keep out underwear on and pretend…”
“Ugh. No.”
“Okay then I’ll take care of it myself.”
“Have at it.”
‘You have to help.”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
“Just take off your shirt.”
“Ugh. Fine.”

So I do, and that is how the boy gets off. Working himself while I sit half naked in his car, thinking this is stupid and trying to ignore the fact that he is talking to and analyzing my boobs.

Ugh. Just ugh.

First priority: learn to give the best head ever to avoid this needlessly embarrassing situation.

Lila Dubois said...

Really? Is it totally trashy? I deleted it from the boards, buuuuuuuuuut if it is entertaining... Maybe I should put it back. You are more then welcome to blog about it.

I am still jelous of the mint... Maybe, to encourage the boy, I will give him a copy of your book for christmas. niiiiiiiice.

Roxy Harte said...

This guy must be totally HOT if you are giving him ANOTHER chance...

Maybe he's just young...and teachable...

My book? You'll either cure him, or kill him!

Lila said...

If it makes him more aewsome... great!

If it kills him. Meh. I'll start over

Lila said...

A correction:

Me= very, very, very bad Domme. Like they need therapy afterwards.

I am, by personal inclination, a sub but have been soured by meeting Doms in real life. I mean honestly. So many of them a Fucking Loosers who couldn't get a woman to date them so they thought they would try owning them. And I have a thing about guys who are a lot less succesful then me. You can't take charge of your life but you want take charge if me? I don't think so.

I am also a bad sub, I don't play by the rules and when I get called on it I cry. Like i get really upset that they are mad and me and cry and start hiccuping. And then I sulk. It's madness. I have seen guys thunk their heads against walls.

Priceless said...

Why is there not a new post today? I want them I need them!

Priceless said...

Are you reading the boards? The other authors have voted you my matchmaker and are planning to fly you out.

Hehe! Roxy's incharge of my luuuuurve life.