You Are Invited...To A Giggle Party

I was pleased and excited to get invited to a party...any kind of party...for the fact that my evenings have been spent solo while Sir Hotness has been out of town. The invitation read:

In an Age-Old Tradition

You are cordially invited to

The Gigglefest

A social Occasion for Special Ladies

to share Sinful Secrets and Decadent Desserts

By Invitation Only

No Men Allowed (Except Cabana Boyz)

Bring a decadent snack to share and singles($)for games

I'm not sure what I expected but I went prepared with a dozen shrimp and a bottle of Riesling. The forty plus women between the ages of 19 and 66 were as clueless as I since none of us had been to a Gigglefest before...

Of course, with alcohol flowing...decadent snacks...cute cabana boyz in little clothing catering to our every need...there was a lot of giggling going on...

You haven't lived until you've been fed snacks by cute boys (mmm) and waited on hand and foot and massaged...

And then Security showed up and asked us to "tone it down because management had had a complaint"... but then ... the music started and the Security Guard's uniform started coming off :-)

And then the handcuffs came out...

Mmmm...I think every Thursday night should be a Gigglefest...
The only downfall was that it was a Thursday night...and no sleeping in after so much alcohol...
Oy vey...There are parts of the night vaguely blurry...

I do remember a very cute girl in my lap for part of the evening who bestowed very sweet kisses...and a very exotic dirty dance with the lovely woman who asked me to have her baby a few years ago...and of course the stripper...who was VeRRRRRRa NiCe!

I may have to host a Gigglefest of my own this winter to warm up a cold Ohio evening...but I think I'll have it on a Saturday...just so I can sleep in on Sunday LOL

The Faithful...

On Susan's suggestion, I am looking for The Faithful by Carla Dickens. I was intrigued when I found out that it is a novel set against the backdrop of the Democratic primary campaign inside the Obama camp (with fictional staffers;)

Here's the excerpt that was also highlighted on Susan's Blog, Sexy Prime:

A tiny excerpt, in the voice of Thomas, the amusing gay narrator, who is here eavesdropping on the action behind closed campaign office doors:

Behind one door, I heard Caroline’s throaty gurgle and the muffled sounds of Reggie, face surely in her pussy. (Who says black men don’t go down?) Pink tongue on pink flesh.

Their rule is: No intercourse in public places. And behind another door, Chloe’s louder moans, Evan’s heavy groans that made me imagine I could feel his balls slapping against my ass - and the sound of the desk thumping rhythmically beneath the force of their banging. I guessed Chloe was bent over the desk with Evan entering from behind.

My dick grew hard at the thought of his member, thick and hard, pulling out, thrusting in, glistening, gleaming like polished marble.

“Yes!” Chloe screamed.

So, now the search is on...Amazon seems fastest and easiest with small children in the house...

Hmmm...

If you read it before I get my copy, let me know what you think...

Of course I will definitely let you know what I think:)

Happy LGBT History Month!

There's a common link in all of my books to date: LGBT...and really, not G as in cowboys or vampires, but G as in believable men in love with each other. The same would go for the L (this isn't a man's fantasy clinch)...the B? I write like everyone is B...I can't help it. I write what I know. And the T? If you haven't met Jackie the MtoF diva goddess extraordinaire from the Chronicles of Surrender series...you should meet her. Soon. I love Jackie more than any of my other characters...shh...please, don't tell the others!

It seems a natural thing to look backward this month...

It's October.

I know that doesn't mean a thing to some, but for me it is the last month of the year, a time of reflection and planning, looking backward and forward...the perfect month to also celebrate LGBT History...

So today I posted at the Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything...a slight rant, a small look backward, a small look forward, and gratitude...

Cleaning, Babysitting...and Writing???

I woke up again this am at six...
It's still dark at six.
There is no reason to be awake so early...none...growl...and No! I am not a morning person, thank you...

So, I've been awake...not writing...thinking about writing though...and my ideas aren't going where I want them to go...THIS AIN"T NO HARLEQUIN,RIGHT?...so why is it sounding...eh, like a Harlequin? I mean, seriously...

I think I need a serious flogging...
note I said serious, not mamby pamby...
Sigh...

Sir Hotness being on the road is killing me...I should be writing up a storm...I have time, energy...I just don't have the emotion and withought that...HARLEQUIN...

I just got home from buying cleaning supplies...everything...ammonia, bleach, floor clean, tub and tile cleaner, stainless steel polish, windex...we probably have half of it already here...
Who knows? I don't know...
I must really miss SH...usually he cleans...
I am seriously considering cleaning...

Today and Tomorrow, I have grandbabies...hopefully we can do some cool crafts...I'm all about babies creating out of cardboard and glue...paint and feathers...shiny things...
Yay...should be a fun couple of days.

If I was super brave, we might attempt cookies...
I don't know that I'm that brave.
We'll see.

Hoping my brain will crank out a fab idea while I'm cleaning and babysitting because I need a fab idea...edgy, intelligent...something to counteract my lame-i-tis...

Some edge play might snap me out of it...
SH isn't huge on edge play even when he is home...he's too smart...he knows all of the physiological damage potential...so "choking out" never really means without air...
I'm okay with that...he loves me...he values my life and respects how fragile life can be...

I've never been loved that much...

**As an update on the stress in my life that led to the nervous tic...
Beautiful Girl saw a Sports Medicine MD with the intention of getting a release to play...and thankfully he said, "No way." Which is a huge relief to me because she is still symptomatic ...headaches, nausea, slow reaction times to conversation and physical response...so I really didn't want her on the field...
Her official diagnosis is Traumatic Brain Injury...I'm not sure if that is a grade up or down from Post Concussive Syndrome but as long as it keeps her off the field.
She was disappointed (actually mad) until the doctor told her that one more serious bump to her head and someone (me) is going to be sending flowers to her funeral...
He got her attention...for now.

Sir Hotness is in Houston this week, Connecticut the week after that...
Then home for three days...Yay...and then I have no idea where he goes...I just know he does.
Looking forward to vaca week at end of October...

Coping Mechanisms...

Have any idea what coping mechanisms really are?

Basically, it's what we do subconsciously to deal with stress... here's a long definition... but the bottom line it is behavior that we do (usually without realizing) to get through to the moment when we can breath again after a stretch of extreme stress.

I know I am a survivor. I've had major conversations with men and women who went to school to identify what a person should or should not be worried about when it comes to mental illness. I wish I could blame insanity for some of my decisions in this lifetime but I couldn't even get a diagnosis of depression when I tried once...just a pat on the back and congratulations for having good instincts of how to deal with the stress I was under... ie ...I have great coping mechanisms to survive intense/insane/unusual/life threatening situations...

I should, I've had my share of "situations"...

But having hit a certain level of comfort...I'm in love, I'm happy, I'm not worried about losing the roof over my head or having enough food for my kids, my writing career is finally going somewhere...it didn't even dawn on me that I've been "COPING"...

Really....

Aside from the nervous tic, I'm feeling pretty good about who I am, who I want to be, and where I want my life to take me...

So, why did it dawn on me at 5:45am this morning that I am utilizing a whole bunch of coping mechanisms? Compartmentalization and Dissociation just to name a few...

So, between 5:45am and 7:45am when I actually forced myself out from under the covers, I thought a lot about what I'm doing that I don't like and why...then I came up with a plan to stop coping with my life and start embracing my life...tic causing insanity and all.

This afternoon I laid down in the grass and soaked in some sunshine, Jazzi joined me...two hours later I didn't even berate myself for not writing...

This evening a woman called for a tarot reading and I could tell by the desperation in her voice that she needed a voice of reason...I know, she called me?...I gave her information she needed to make sane, rational decisions...I didn't charge her a single cent...and two hours of readings later...I felt whole again...

In my new life...married, not working, writing full time...I'd forgotten what helped me stay sane through the hard (leaner) times and remembered just in time what could keep me sane in the here and now: tarot, Reiki, prayer, ritual, meditation, and yoga complete me...and somewhere along the way, I stopped giving myself an adequate amount of "me" time. Add in all of the drama of the last few weeks and it's affected me...mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I'm much more happy and relaxed tonight just because I took enough time this morning to figure out that the coping mechanisms I was subconsciously relying on to get me through the moments between caffeine overload and adrenaline rush weren't working.
* * * * * *
Funny story from mid day...
I had to run to town for a minute (between sunsoaking and tarot call)...
I left all of my computer screens up, as I usually do...
Beautiful Girl called me on my cell and as soon as I answered, "Hello?" She screeched, "You're buying a vibrator?"
As a matter of fact, I was considering it, but since my youngest daughter has exhibited little psychic ability, I wasn't sure how she knew that...
I played it cool and asked, "What compelled you to ask that?"
"I have proof!" She said gleefully, "You left the website open to the one you have picked out."
It took me a minute to remember back to the morning (pre-sun) and yes, as a matter of fact I was looking at vibrators, but I was only comparing functions...for writing research...honest. Which is exactly what I told her adding, "It's all there. Page one, chapter one. Read it."
From the sounds she made, you would have thought I asked her to swallow a live goldfish...or two. Reading Mom's bdsm porn is obviously not an option...lol.

Belated Sunday Funnies...Now, on Monday...

You know, I've been hearing an awful lot about Audacia Ray's Craiglist ad...wherein she is attempting to sell a slightly used "Sex Toy"... okay, it's a fucking machine... literally...

She has also made a short film about the experience which honestly tonight I tried to download, but alas, it is no longer downloadable...

However, the trailer qualifies for today's SF and is embedded here:

Sex Free Orgasm?

Hmmm...
I was reading a review by Sadie Faye about a new book on the shelves: The Orgasm Loop (by Susan Crain Bakos) which claims to teach "the no-fail technique for reaching orgasm during sex."

Since approximately 35% of all women do not reliably orgasm during sex and 15% of women do not orgasm ever...it would seem every woman would want to read this book. Me? Mild curiosity peeked (meaning I almost skipped the book review.) It was a really SLOWWW day...so I read the review.

You can read the entire review here.
Quotes from the book review:

"First, the loop itself, which is a series of three pretty simple steps."

"Step one: Relax and focus on your "desire image," something that gets you super turned-on. The image can be anything, even if it's abstract, except your lover -- according to Bakos, you need to be totally relaxed and into yourself, and we all know our lovers don't always make us feel that way."

"Step two: When you're sufficiently turned on, imagine all your desire as a concentrated ball of energy right below your belly button, and then mentally move it into your vagina (from within, no fingers yet). Then imagine a coil of lust at the base of your spine and move it through your pelvis to your genitals. Yeah, it sounds hokey, but as I was moving the ball and the coil I actually felt heat in my lady parts, and they definitely became more sensitive."

"The last part of the technique is where the loop comes in: Breathe in and out while you do your kegels (those are where you squeeze your PC, the same muscle that stops the flow of urine). Clench as you breathe in, relax as you breathe out. By staying focused on your image, getting all the energy in the right place, and keeping this rhythmic breathing and flexing, most women apparently will come. I did -- and honestly, I couldn't believe it.

Not only did I orgasm, but the arousal felt different from most of my masturbation. I was aware of my whole body instead of just my genitals, and I felt like I had generated the desire from within instead of getting turned on from an outside source like a vibrator or porn."

Imagine that...an orgasm caused mentally...hmmm...now I am intrigued. I'm not sure if the book reviewers three step cliff notes are enough...I'll give it a try. I may even have to buy the book...

Some Days You Wake Up Needing...Spanked

I woke up dreaming about a past spanking...mmmmmm...yes it was a very erotic spanking from the man long ago who awakened such dark desires that I could probably blame my entire BDSM erotica career on him...

As a result of waking to that dream I have done nothing but think of spanking all day...

I know what brought on the dream; I'm reading Being A Girl by Chloe Thurlow and it has quite a bit of spanking in it...so my mind took a bit of a fieldtrip into the past and now...spanking, spanking, spanking...it's all I can think about.

Do you ever have one of those days?

Is there ever a good way to ask you partner to just "Spank Me?" ... it could go so well, or it could go so badly...for inspiration I am embedding the Top Ten Spanking Scenes from Modern Media...

Enjoy and I hope you have a Spanking Good Saturday;)

Anyone Watch Lipstick Jungle?

Just now getting around to blogging about this...
Did anyone see Wednesday night's episode of Lipstick Jungle?

Well, I did...I love LJ...and especially Niko and Kirby's affair(Kim Raver/Robert Buckley)...older woman, younger man...yum yum

View the episode here if you missed it...

The topic that pivoted my mind was G-shot...
Maybe you've heard, maybe you haven't, but there's a new procedure that was developed in the UK and finally made it to the US shores (if you are in a large enough city at any rate.)

What is a G-shot? Collagen shot into the G-spot of course, otherwise known as G-spot augmentation. The basic concept is that the injected collagen will "swell" the sight, exerting constant pressure on the G-spot and consequentially producing an almost constant state of arousal increased with activity (supposedly riding in a car, doing yoga and any number of other activities.)

And sex post G-spot augmentation?
Everything I've read touts that it is amazing, amazing, A-fucking-amazing...

Just makes you want to go and get the G-shot doesn't it?
well, I'm pouting because Sir Hotness fairly forbade me from getting the shot. He said he'd like to live to see fifty and I'm horny enough without the help...

Maybe I should see that as a complement...
Sigh...
I still feel like I'm really missing out on something!

What I'm Working On Today...

Whew, now that I have power...it took a week to get caught up on the four days of online life I'd missed, making me wonder how I ever get it all done during a normal day and still have time to write...

Final edits are complete on the ms working title: Living Vicariously: now titled: Voyeur (cause my editor rocks)...and awaiting line reader comments...

I've seen the cover art draft...thrilled...

So what can I do today?
Hmmm...
Oh yeah...I guess I should get back to writing. So my obvious thought is to go back to the WIP I was working on prepower outage (LOVERS)...but I'm kind of thinking I should let that one jell in my head a bit longer...

I could work on the revision of WIP PORNSTAR...
I could work on one of the three WIP I have sitting on a backburner: PRIME, PRODIGAL, JOURNEY...

I think when you get behind target dates because of nasty unexpected events (like a hurricane in Ohio) it just seems mind numbing trying to figure out how to get back on target...

I think I'm going to dwell on some eyecandy for motivation...

Femme's Guide Topic...

Yesterday I posted over at the Femme's Guide to Absolutley Everything on the topic of Female Ejaculation and I was slightly surprised that there were no comments...

Is it becauuse the subject is too taboo? Too boring?

Personally, I find it slightly embarressing...still...because it happens and I'm always left laying in the puddle because I always forget to bring a towel to bed. You would think that I would remember.

Sigh...

Can I blame that one on short term memory loss?
Or maybe because "in the moment" my mind isn't actually on the "after"...

Any thoughts on Female Ejaculation? Anyone?
You can comment here, obviously...and I would love that...but I'd also like you to check out the post there...and comment there...just so I'll know that someone other than me read the post...

http://femmesguide.com/archives/how-to-guide-for-female-ejaculation/

Hugs to you for stopping by!!!!

Can I Have Another Choice Please?

I really want a third party...
and here's why, I don't like either of the choices I have now.

Just got around to reading this email from the Defenders of Wildlife:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEAugust 29, 2008
Shocking Choice by John McCain

WASHINGTON-- Senator John McCain just announced his choice for running mate: Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. To follow is a statement by Rodger Schlickeisen, president of Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund.“Senator McCain’s choice for a running mate is beyond belief. By choosing Sarah Palin, McCain has clearly made a decision to continue the Bush legacy of destructive environmental policies.“Sarah Palin, whose husband works for BP (formerly British Petroleum), has repeatedly put special interests first when it comes to the environment. In her scant two years as governor, she has lobbied aggressively to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling, pushed for more drilling off of Alaska’s coasts, and put special interests above science. Ms. Palin has made it clear through her actions that she is unwilling to do even as much as the Bush administration to address the impacts of global warming. Her most recent effort has been to sue the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to remove the polar bear from the endangered species list, putting Big Oil before sound science. As unbelievable as this may sound, this actually puts her to the right of the Bush administration. “This is Senator McCain’s first significant choice in building his executive team and it’s a bad one. It has to raise serious doubts in the minds of voters about John McCain’s commitment to conservation, to addressing the impacts of global warming and to ensuring our country ends its dependency on oil.”
###
The Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund (www.defendersactionfund.org) provides a powerful voice in Washington to Americans who value our conservation heritage. Through grassroots lobbying, issue advocacy and political campaigns, the Action Fund champions those laws and lawmakers that protect wildlife and wild places while working against those that do them harm.

Blogging at Sexpressions

I am posting at Liquid Silver Books Blog Sexpressions today, so please stop over to discover why I have developed a nervous twitch this week.

My Femme's Guide Post was delayed last week due to the Ohio Power Outage...

And Mabon Blessings!

Sexy?

I love this picture...it just screams fun. So, I'm looking for reader comments.
Sexy, not sexy?
Please tell me your thoughts!

I actually have a very valid reason for asking...
I'm in the middle of a WIP that has breath play and I for one have always been a big fan of Asphyxiaphilia (*please note: asphyxiation (lack of air) is absolutely edge play and should never go as far as loss of consciousness.)

So, this WIP rocks...IMHO.

Dying to post an excerpt....
Question is: Is anyone willing to beg for an excerpt?
Mwahhahahahaha

Have a great weekend!
Hugs
Roxy

Surprise Me...Titillate Me...

This post has been delayed by Hurricane Ike...it seems forever ago that I raced to the bookstore to buy Playing...

Here's my thoughts:
I hate predictability, so imagine my surprise (and disappointment) when I read, "We're going to count the last five together." (spanks) or the line, "Just because I want to..."

Yay...
Another introduction To BDSM 101

The novel, "Playing" by Melanie Abrams lacked in BDSM originality; however, that said...the book is going on my bookshelf because she pushed all the right buttons when she dug into the psych of the heroine...

I would have really loved the book if she would have also delved into the psych of the hero...which was pretty much presented as "I'm a sadist, get over it...and if it makes you feel better see my sadism as your painful sacred path to enlightenment" (my paraphrase).

Clearly, the novel was tight enough to earn mass-marketing...
Clearly, all of my fears about showcasing children in novels has been ridiculous when this novel crosses all boundaries and puts the heroine (in my mind) who she be immediately sterilized so as not to become a child-abuser...

As a side note the author is Caucasian, her husband Indian...the heroine is Caucasian, the hero Indian...making me wonder if this was the only story in Melanie Abrams head...or if she has more to offer.

As much as I love finding new authors willing and able to negotiate BDSM erotica contracts, I hate the disappointment of losing them. Remember Laura Reese' short lived fame...Topping From Below and Panic Snap rate among my all time fav reads...and yet she has flown the coop as a fiction author. Reportedly now that she is pursuing a "real career" her writing is an embarrassment. Pity.

Fairy Tales...

A lovely friend sent me this...not sure if it was before, during, or after Hurricane Ike...but I appreciated the laugh when I finally received it! And after surviving the storm and resulting power outage without the skills and brawn of a man in residence...

I chuckled...

Any TrueBlood Followers Here?

Okay, I'm in lust...
Trueblood is doing it for me for this fall's HBO line-up

Have no idea what I'm talking about?
Trailer for Episode 1

I know where I'm going to be sitting every Sunday night at 9pm...
Ahhh...I hope there's lots of biting:)

And it's a more grown-up vampire lovestory than Twilight...
Now don't get me wrong... I love Stephenie Meyers series and am anticipating the movie premier Nov 21 but to have grown-ups kissing instead of children and all manners of sexiness going on (it is HBO) ... I'm absolutely giddy.

There Is No Sufficient Title For This Post...

It's roughly quarter til twelve...and the best way to start this post is that I've been up since seven a.m. (cursed barking dogs...lovable because their mine...but some days) on top of three hours of sleep because I thought it would be a good idea to have some Internet playtime last night...which I enjoyed and really needed... even though I knew today needs to be a productive writing day...

Okay, so dogs wake me up an hour before the alarm...I'll survive.

If you really know me...and know how much of a morning person I'm really not...you can appreciate the sarcasm in that statement.

It's raining, great...

It is great, really, we need the rain...what is not great is that one dog is now condemned to the garage most of the day (don't worry, he's on a fairly long lead he'll have lots of outdoors roll in the mud time before I drag him back in for the bubblebath that will make him house friendly again...the other dog, cute puppy girl in heat is condemned to spend the day at my feet and not worshipping the ground he walks on...(usually, he worships ...but today she thinks it's the end of the world because they can't play.)

So he's outside barking...

And she's inside whining...

I'm really not getting any writing done.

Maybe I should take her for a walk? Sounds like fun...yes, it's raining...but it's only a drizzle, maybe a little heavier than a drizzle but I'm not going to melt, ya know...

I put her on the lead (all I need is an escaped dog in heat) and we go out the back door. The smell of death is immediate. I know ewww welcome to my life...

So I'm ready to kill the cat that has probably returned from a night out prowling for dinner (but honestly I really didn't believe it was a fresh kill or kitty prey size) too much stink...

And Jazzi girl is all over it...

She's pulling and jerking and whining and really just bound and determined to find the dead thing...and all I can think is I hope the coyotes didn't take down the deer I saw limping around a few days ago...

Curiosity peeked, we tromp out into the prairie behind the house in search of death...

It's still early by the way...still lots of time to write...later...

We don't find the dead thing and I think we're both a little disappointed but by now we are both fairly soaked through...it was slightly harder than a drizzle at some points...

And I look down...

And my beautiful girl is covered from head to toe with burrs...

I look down at me...

You got it...covered.

So now, I get to de-burr the wet dog(did I mention mud covered too?) before we can even go in the house...easy for me, I just strip at the back door...

So how long does it take to de-burr a wet, not impressed long haired pooch? I'll just say the morning is gone...

And after all of that Petey is still barking, Jazzi is still whining...there is something bigger than a dead bunny somewhere in the back field...and I haven't written a single word on the ms that still isn't complete and should have been wrapped up two weeks ago...

Also...since it is painfully obvious that I am not writing...I found Lady Talks A Lot, a blogger who asked the question, "Would you have sex for a million dollars?"

OMG...how many arguments have I had over this very question (especially when the two movies that dared ask this question in the eighties were hot topic material.) If you so desire...you can go there to see my answer in the comment section...but I beg, if you comment there...please come back and share your thought here as well...

I am always so amazed at how many people get righteously offended by the question...

I guess my POV is highly affected by life experience and then there the life experiences of others who really put a different spin on trading sex for money

Declare Yourself...

*photo by Mark Liddel for Declare Yourself

I love the new Jessica Alba Ad which was so BDSM inspired that I had to do a double take to see just who was wrapped up and in essence says, "Only you can Silence yourself."

I love the fact that our media not only exploits sex but is also now racing to more and more extreme and kinkier sex for marketing because it means that kink is going mainstream and if kink goes mainstream then it is only time before kinky erotica goes mainstream...

Which is evidenced by the release of "Playing" which I found, read, didn't fall madly in love with but became an avid fan of the author and will look for hopefully similar releases in the future. Seriously her writing is amazing in the fact that it explores the psychological aspects of BDSM (which if you've read my writing, you know I am all about)

Anyway, I digressed...

Declare Yourself is meant a place to help get people registered to vote, not a place to come out of the kinky closet. Which I am all about... (Yes, come out of the kinky closet, but also get registered...)

It really is as easy as going to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles...County Office...or online at either DY or Rock the Vote.

We really can change the country but we have to have our voices heard.

Personally, I wish there was a third candidate...but I'm stuck with that horrible task of choosing the lesser of two evils just as everyone else is in this country this round...

Funny NPR story today though...interviewer went to a supermarket parking lot in a (London?suburb) and interviewed the locals about our US choices and hearing my thoughts with a British accent was bizarre and they really weren't worried about offending anyone so they just stated what they perceive...it was a beautiful laugh out loud moment.

Goddess, I want to go to the U.K. ... SOON ... like now would be good. I really need a pint in a country pub where no one knows my name...

I think I'm going on a pub hunt...

I know we have The Pub up the road but it's a cute, shiny franchise and I'm really more in the mood for dark and moody...

Hmmm..they do have their sampler though...

Anyone for a Speckled Hen?

Seven Years...

I will always hold in my mind the vision of the south tower's first hit...and its replay over and over on CNN and every other television channel on the morning of 9/11 seven years ago as our nation sat in stunned silence.

Incense and candles are burning on my alter and aside from this note wishing the survivors, our soldiers, and our nation peace, healing, and protection...the blog will be silent today in memory.

Own Your Sexuality

Soon after I started dating Sir Hotness...days...he posted this picture on his Myspace page to remind him of what my soul looked like. I think after I'd gotten over the shock that he could see me so clearly, I appreciated him even more...as a friend, as a lover, but also as that ellusive one my soul had sought for centuries.

He's told me more than once that it is because I am who I am, unwilling to wear masks, unwilling to conform to anyone's idea of who they think I should be that attracted him to me in the first place. Part of what makes me...me...is that I own my sexuality.

I found this lovely You Tube Video and I agree with most of it...but she only includes three types of orgasms vaginal, clitoral, and g-spot(and a forth is you count brain orgasms). I feel she neglected to mention anal orgasms...they happen.

She feels surprised that a woman in her fifties may have never experienced an orgasm before...again it happens. Shame about my body was instilled in my mind from an early age. My mother didn't want to address the fact that I even had breasts let alone take me to the store to actually buy a bra (how embarrassing for her.) And heaven forbid if I should have an itch "down there" because you don't touch that...

So if other womens mothers were like mine, yeah, I totally get how they were never brave enough to explore their bodies. Thank goddess, I'm a rebel, I've been touching "down there" since I was about six...

Did you grow up thinking that good girls are quiet and submissive?
Good girls don't enjoy sex?

So many contradictions. Is it any wonder I spent my youth trying so hard to be a boy?
Boys always got to have more fun and right up until the time I couldn't hide the fact that I had breasts...I was right out their amongst them...riding bikes, climbing trees, rummaging through dumpsters for treasure, fighting (oh, how many boys did I make cry because I could throw a solid punch...lol), playing war (I had to be the POW because everyone knows that the POW gets tied up!) and cops/robbers, cowboys/Indians (I always wanted to be the robber and the Indian, what does that say about my psych?) Damn it, boys had more fun...

And then I reached puberty and I found out that boys really got to have more fun.
Our world is a contradiction of gender...

Men can masturbate.
Men can have multiple partners.
Men become men when they have sex for the first time and are ofter encouraged to do so at a very early age...

The same woman who accepts that her boyfriend, lover, husband is sleeping around because he just has a lot of testosterone will be the first to call the woman he's sleeping around with A WHORE. A SLUT...

I won't own either of those labels, but I will own my sexuality.

I'll admit it...I've always hidden the fact that I masturbate. Hell, I masturbate daily, one of my safety mechanisms that kept me from being too promiscuous...And thank goddess I'm through my PRIME because all I wanted to do was masturbate. From age34-37 I could have sex for hours and still hide in the bathroom masturbating. My daily masturbation jumped from once or twice a day to ten or twelve times a day. A single lover can't keep up with that kind of need. Is it any wonder that mid-thirty a woman starts finding early-twenty males too much of a temptation to refuse?

The chemistry matches...just my theory and if you haven't hit your prime yet...you have no idea...

And since I've lived to tell, I have a WIP that is about that very subject matter...a woman's prime. More details as I work it out!

So all I'm saying is own your sexuality...your darkness and your light.

FYI: I posted at The Femme's Guide.

Sunday Funnies...On Wednesday

I'm too impatient to wait for Sunday to share
When the Kama Sutra and Vagina Meet



Performed by Rasika Mathur, comedian and co-star of MTV’s Wild ‘N Out

I'm Fine, Really

Can we take a moment to talk about prayer? I know, not the general Flog Blog Topic you're used to...

But give me a chance before you jump ship and go to the next blog.

In addition to the many components of self that make up the identity of Me, being a Reiki Master is just one on the list; however, it is also part of the very essence of who I am, and so when someone tells me the details of an ordeal or illness that they are experiencing, I'll usually say, "I'll light a candle for you." Many times what they perceive in their minds (if they don't know me) is that I am Catholic or whatever other religion that jumps into their head...yeah, I'm not. I'm actually fairly anti-religious in the part that man has corrupted spirituality into a tool of fear and power. I'm also not praying for them.

When I am lighting a candle for someone, I am doing my best to direct all of the healing energy of the Universe toward a pinpointed problem in the hope that the person will find peace within (not necessarily a cure, although that too is possible if that is their internal desire.) It's all about what is best for them, there situation, there life's journey.

So in essence this is my resume for stating that I understand the power of intention.

Intentions directs energy, energy in motion causes change. JMHO.

I really get distressed when people start throwing around the P-word. As in I'll pray for you. How do you nicely tell a person, "Please don't. I'm fine. Really," and not offend them?

Some of you may already see where this is going, some of you will still be scratching your heads in the morning even after I say that I have been trying really hard to like and admire Sarah Palin. First, potentially, she could be our very first female vice-president. That's admirable without putting any political beliefs or agendas on the table. She's also a mother, trying her best to raise a family that is inundated with challenges, a pregnant unwed teenage daughter and an infant with Down's Syndrome. She's young, forty-four, and already achieved remarkable career accolades. So yes, I admire her without a doubt.

I still want to like her.

Today, the headlines raced to grab our attention with "Sarah Palin's Church Prays Away The Gay" because the church she has attended since 2002, Wasilla Bible Church, is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays to heterosexuals through the power of prayer. MSNBC had this article.

I guess I've waited all day for a single word from the McCain/Palin camp denouncing any involvement or support for such a conference by Sarah Palin. I mean, this is the new era of the Republican Party, right? A little less conservative?

Maybe not.

I'm sorry, but I am so offended I cannot even think straight. It is like my brain is skipping as irritatingly as a scratched record (yes, I am from the generation that still had vinyl records.) I've tried to organize my thoughts but get only so far as "how dare they."

But then my brain is already pacing years ahead to the place where we have celebrated a woman as vice-president solely because she is female but neglected to study her politics. The vision of the US prior to Stonewall, before Roe vs Wade, pre-legalized marriage in CA, and pre-equality in benefits for life-partners keeps rolling through my head and it makes me physically ill.

Can we please get just a little separation of church and state? Just a little?
In the meantime, if you feel a need to pray for me..."Please, don't. I'm fine. Really."

Femmes Guide

I am now an author over at The Femmes Guide To Absolutely Everything so if you are a Femme, or a Boi or a Dyke who loves Femmes, stop by and say Hi at my inaugral post on Being Bisexual

I'll be posting once a week so add us to your subscriptions too!

Hugs

Roxy

For The Love Of Forums...

I belong to more than a few forums and on occasion I ask a question...
To make a long story short, I asked a question...a fairly simple 'yes' or 'no, not necessary' answerable question...

I was not expecting someone to reply with a paragraph that almost said without saying, "Why would you ask a stupid question like that?" and not only that but also, "This is why that question was so stupid."

I forced my typing fingers into a tight little fist to keep from saying what one of my college professors spouted daily oh so many years ago...

"There are no stupid questions just stupid answers."
Need I say he was a philosophy/religion professor?

So now I'm ranting here instead of there...is there any wonder I hate forums?

Has Anyone Read This Book?

The reason I ask is because "Playing" by Melanie Abrams is being tauted as Literary Fiction...but when I read the blurb and saw the cover...I saw erotica in disguise. Or maybe it's just a marketing ploy to use sex once again to sell...

Why do I care?
Oh, so, many, reasons.

First, my current WIP which was slated for an e-publisher is finished and ready to submit, but I just don't feel right submitting it...not yet...because it isn't exactly erotica. It isn't exactly chick-lit either. I had someone look at it, a professional in the publishing industry, though not an agent or an editor...

And they said, "This is ALMOST literary erotica." They immediately said, "But it's rough, you are going to have to put a lot of work into tightening it up for mainstream...but if you can...a mainstream big house can pick it up as Literary Fiction."

Of course I wanted to know the difference between Literary Fiction and Literary Erotica...

After a chuckle, the response was, "Not a damn thing."

So tonight, while perusing what's new, I find "Playing" ... looks like erotica, tauted as literary fiction ... but how does it read? Scream. I will have no chance to find it until Monday...maybe Tuesday. So, anyone?

Is this an example of Literary Erotica marketed as Literary Fiction?
I need to know...

Inaugral Post At The Femme's Guide...

Woot! Today is the inaugural posting to the blog: The Femme's Guide To Absolutely Everything!

And I am so excited!

So if you get a chance, read my post there...and comment...cause I want to hear from you!!!

Hugs

Roxy

Anyone Reading This Blog Enjoy F/F Erotica?

Here's the thing, I write a lot of F/F erotica, I attribute it to being Bisexual and currently being in a marriage with a man, so I just think about women when I fantasize and not men...

A lesbian friend asked if I've always exclusively fantasized about women...
Uh, yes...
She laughed and said I was delusional if I thought I was Bi...
Whatever.

Point being, I have a LOT of F/F manuscripts that need a home, and sadly many of the e-book publishers who advertise LGBT really mean that they only take gay male cowboys and gay male vampires...so there really isn't an L, a B, or a T...unless the B is in a menage and then that would work too...

Yes, I'm venting a little.
Not a lot, but a little...because I write really hot F/F and no one is getting a chance to read it. Sad but true. Recently I selected four of my dedicated readers and sent them an ms that was F/F (one of those readers being a committed lesbian who has never been with man in her life)...and the comments I got ranged from, "I forgot I was reading F/F" to "You really challenged my boundaries but I loved it."

I know, regular dedicated, die-hard Roxy fans, family, and friends probably don't count as far as a solid critique goes, but it made me think I need to submit this one outside the box...(ie the small e-book community I've lately been hanging my hat)
So if anyone knows where I can submit F/F and not be turned down or told "change it to M/F or change it to M/M"...please let me know!

Any success stories for other F/F writers would also be quite delightful.
Thanks

Hugs
Roxy

**And please don't bother asking which publisher, cause baby, I don't kiss and tell...

Notes On A Long Day...

1. When wanting to write 20K in 3 days do not let the Universe know because the Universe will conspire against you to make it not so...

2. Appreciate every moment because time flies, as evidenced by Beautiful Girl starting her Senior Year of High School tomorrow...

3. Remember that when hubby is out of town for a month to talk faster during those ten minute a day chats because if not, you will be sitting in bed at midnight cussing because you forgot to ask about...

4. Put new vibrator on shopping list so that when you are in bed tomorrow night you won't be cussing at midnight like you will be tonight because you forgot about it today...

5. Naps are good...why didn't I take one today? It would have made the day shorter! And maybe, just maybe I would have had enough brain cells left to remember the important stuff...

Brainstorm...Brainstorm...Write.Write.Write.

Okay, so my current WIP which was supposed to be quick and easy and FUN...
has evolved...
No longer content to hold down 40K or 50K as a target, I am currently at 62K and counting. My best guess after redraft and intense brainstorm session with my critique partner puts my hopes at wrapping this thing up around 85K...whew...

Think I'll make my Friday deadline?
I'm tense...

Here's a sneak peak at the ever evolving blurb for LOVERS:

Love, hate, lust, revenge, heart-break and triumph abound for four men and four women, experiencing the joys and trials of the polyamorous lifestyle Los Angeles-style. Far from above crossing each others boundaries, wallowing in each others drama, offering unsolicited advice, swapping romantic partners, or stealing them outright...the lust is hot and the sex is hotter when everyone has a stake in who ends up sleeping with who...

As far as the kink list goes: M/M, F/F, M/F, menage, bondage, spanking, Fem Dom, D/s.
Let me know your thoughts...
Hugs
Roxy

You May Have Noticed ...

There is a link on my sidebar to FetLife, an online community that I joined when it was first started...January 2008...so it's still a baby...but wow...the excitement there! It is also getting noticed around town:

Here's what Jane’s Guide had to say about it:

"Take a moment and imagine a leather Facebook or Myspace, and then imagine it being run by and for kinky folks. That is exactly what Fetlife is! It is the coolest new community site out there for pervs, and it is absolutely 100% free.

I had been hearing the buzz about this new spot on the web from a few of my lifestyle friends, and I finally decided to go set up an account and take a look myself. Many years ago I had been on other sites that promised community and allowed free communication, but since those sites have sold to other companies their soul has left the building and communication costs money. It is also communication that is no longer under the nurturing ownership of perverts with a personal interest in our tribe. I’d lost interest, and so had most of my friends. I was hoping that this site could be some of what I was missing on the old ones.

Wow, I wasn’t disappointed! I immediately ran into some of my old friends, and then ran off to recruit new ones. It is easy to sign up. Once you have, then you set up a profile. You can add pics to it, and you’ll never run into that “you have to have such and such membership” to view pics or show them to others. There are social groups here with ongoing forum conversations, so you can sign up for topics that interest you (or create your own groups). There is a mail system that acts like a personal bulletin board for private conversations, so you don’t lose track of what has been said to anyone. You can post writing, see what your friends are doing, and a lot more. A lot of talented pervs are posting writing and engaging in conversation here. I’ve met a lot of new friends.

There is a small amount of advertising, but it is done really tastefully and never gets in the way. You can write to the folks that run the site, and they will actually write you back. I’ve been in love with this place and raving about it for the last several weeks. This is one of the few sites that didn’t ask for review. I sought out the owner and asked him if I could post one. It is that good. I feel like I’m giving you guys an early Christmas gift. Go check it out! This is the next big kinky community site! They are going to be huge, and they will stay huge as long as they keep the spirit that they have now. - Vamp"

Stop The insanity

Does anyone remember Susan Powter besides me?
STOP THE INSANITY!
God, I loved this woman...she changed my thought process...with more than just her diet and excercise advice...I soaked in her life advice. What an amazing, powerful, empowering woman...

I opened my first martial arts school because of this woman's inspiration...
Whew...flashback of memories...total mindfuck there...

Anyway,
I caught up with her at her blog, here's her today's episode:

Still an amazing, sexy woman.
If a bit of a tease...I mean, really, I was all set to order pizza...and wash and peel back layers and dry and...
WHAT?
Sex with denied climax...that's how I felt this morning...
Oh well...I can wait for the next installment and I have at least 5 pizza delivery places on speed dial so it's okay.

I still love her...
...love her, lust for her...
...same, same:)

I feel empowered all over again...
Okay, enough about me...who inspired you to be the powerful, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, outspoken woman that you are today?

I'm going to begin the Sunday Funnies by saying that I am really, really looking forward to Twilight The Movie...and that I am a big fan of the Stephenie Meyers series (although I honestly believe she could have expanded by another book instead of calling the series "done"...whatever...that's my hang-up)...

The point is, I was thoroughly disgusted when Xandra told me that there was a parody floating around. I couldn't believe that someone would spoof the soon to be released Twilight...a little angry even (but then, three weeks into the eight week sojourn of Sir Hotness being on the road I'm a little cranky...ask the nearby drivers who have experienced my road rage of late and they might say a lot cranky...whatever...five more weeks until I'm happy again, get over it)...

I keep digressing...

Anyway, I watched the spoof...
Watched it again...
Watched with Beautiful Girl (cause I was forcing her to watch it)...
Watched while she forced her boyfriend to watch it...

I'll admit it. I laughed every single time. that is why I am posting as today's Sunday Funny...because out of an entire week of not laughing...really grinding teeth not happy, not laughing...two guys and a girl made me bust...and I wanted to thank them...so this is my way of doing that...by passing this one on.

Here is the original trailer (in case you missed it)and FYI the spoof actually a smashing of two trailers...so I'll post both before the spoof...
And following will be the spoofed version.
original trailer 1:

original trailer 2:

spoof:

Brainstorming Genius or Critique Partner Goddess?

Last night I brain-storm chatted with Xandra and it was deemed that I was the Goddess of Brainstorming...eh...I'll take the compliment but really, it's just a matter of perspective.

I can spend hours hitting my head against the table and not figure out what I hate...what is making me insane...about a chapter. I can send it to her and BAM she doesn't pull any punches. She'll call shit shit and if it's good she'll tell me to stop being critical. And I think when she gives me a dilemma summary, I know her WIP well enough to give her solid advice.

Isn't it funny how a writer can be too attached to their own work to see what is right in front of them?

News From A Friend...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I Need A Widget...

I've gone to some other author sites and some of them have widgets...word count trackers...and I need one of those. It would be nice to see an actual visual of this is where I've been and this is how far I have to go...

I may have to do some widget research...
In the meantime, I've written 2K this a.m. on the WIP and have no intention of stopping before midnight...

A Little Light Entertainment...

Today is...was(gotta keep it in positive mode)... verging on wasted day status...struggled over five hundred words for about three hours...why am I suddenly stalled mid book? Am I thinking too hard? Maybe. Am I worried that I will never measure up to the greatness of Stephen King or Stephenie Meyers? Nah, though reading them simutaneously has been an amazing brain jolt...

My brain is bored...
Is my writing boring?
I reread...I may need a third opinion...third because my second opinion got my reader, my regular critique partner, so worked up that she had this to say in her comments:
"Jameson needs to die in fire. Emma needs hit with a frying pan and to
meet a man who's a grown-up. Bianca needs to quit being a damn
doormat. I love Toby. The little boy thing creeps me out but not as
much as I thought it would, because it's pretty clear that it's a
gender role-playing thing not motivated by either abuse or that wrong
kind of fetish that will no doubt get this email read by the gubmint.
Adrian--meh. He's kind of a dork. Bishop, I like. Lose the wife and
kids, that train pulled out of the station with Emma and Jameson.
Phelps--who the hell is he and where the fuck did he come from,
anyway?"

I've decided that if this WIP can evoke such strong emotion in its very rough draft state...I must be onto something...

Sigh...
Eatting shrimp, drinking beer and gonna take a break from the keyboard to go watch Beautiful Girl's soccer game.

Hopefully when I get home, it will all make sense.
Watched a dvd to get out of my funk...
here's my thoughts about Walk All Over Me:
I'm a sucker for cute girls in latex...and Tricia Helfer wielding a whip? Yeah, I can totally get into that too...add a little ditziness from Leelee Sobieski and you have Walk All Over Me.

The DVD jacket promises, "A dangerously deviant ride that will leave you begging for more." And "Latex meets larceny in this sexy thriller."

Trust me, it isn't a thriller, but for a little comedic relief while Sir Hotness is away...definitely...plus I have a great imagination so I can fill in the gaps that the story didn't.

I've been told it is a Blockbuster Exclusive...but I found it at Netflix...and also at Netflix?..The Pet...and The Secretary. I may have to give my brain a little more light entertainment before this day is through.

Also...got my contract for Living Vicariously in the mail today from Loose-ID...YAY

Stop Pretending

"Start with the ending, stop pretending." That's the chorus of a song by David Wilcox that I was listening to on the radio this morning...and if you ever get a chance to give it a listen, it really is a pretty profound song...

and part of the message is to go into relationships without the lies...

you know what I'm talking about. The lie where you pretend you aren't very sexually experienced...because if you admitted the real number of (people) you had sex with you might scare the guy off...and who knows what the guy's scare off number is...maybe it's 30...maybe it's 300...maybe it's 3. So we don't take the chance...we lie...and then the truth comes out...and it's BAD.

"Relationships work when there is honest communication from the first hello. Stop pretending to be who you think they want you to be..."
That's what I recently told a girl friend when she called with that very problem...out of of relationship and looking...but every guy always throws out the how sexually active have you been question...
the last date really pissed her off and her comment to me was, "I'm twenty-nine years old, do I look like a virgin to you?"
Since she is too hot for mere words I can only say I snorted and tucked my x-rated fantasy back in the safe tidy box in my head...
then she asked "how did you know Sir Hotness was the one?" (valid question, we got married three months after we met)...
next question...
"how long did you wait to have sex? because I think I ruin my relationships before they have a chance to start because I jump into bed too fast."
(another good question)

But how could I answer? And why in the hell was she asking me? I mean...REALLY?
Her answer? Because SirHotness and I are the most happy, most relaxed, most real couple she knows. Because I can tell Sir Hotness anything...and because she wants a relationship like that.

Sorry, kiddo, I think ours is a one of a kind relationship that probably has its roots safely planted about three incarnations back...but here's what I said:

I knew I wasn't willing to ever settle for less than "perfect for me" again. I defined what I was looking for and decided that I would grow old alone before I would venture into another wrong relationship...and part of defining Mr Perfect for became figuring out who the fuck I was first...

She looked like a deer caught in headlights...
She really doesn't want to face who she really is because she is still waiting for someone to define her...big mistake. "Stop it!"

I decided to tackle her easy questions...
how long til sex? (btw if you are a close friend or relative you may want to stop reading because maybe you don't want to know me or Sir Hotness this well...)
actually we had phone sex...before we even dated...of course first we talked about honesty, communication, and you got it...sexual expectations...because I'm that girl...I was tired of being in relationships where I had to pretend to be someone I'm not...I can be crude, vulgar even, in everyday conversation, just ask any of my daughters and they will tell you, no topic is sacred...would any man really think I was something other in the bedroom? Yeah, they have...and I've paid for it dearly by keeping my wants and needs in check so I wouldn't scare them off. So with SirHotness, I broke the too early for sex taboo by initiating phone sex with him on our third telephone conversation. Did I take a chance? Maybe...but I was comfortable enough talking to him to think that we were on the same wavelength...so by the time we actually went on a date...we'd already been intimate and he already knew some pretty scary secrets to boot. No hiding, no pretending.

will that work for my friend...the phone sex? not a chance...but the honest communication and hopefully in depth chatter about expectations will be a better start than what she's experienced before...it's all about finding the person who "get's you"

so then I back-tracked...to the first question because that is exactly how I knew I'd finally found the right one...
He "got me"...I didn't have to dumb it down for him...we were and are on the same wavelength mentally, physically, emotionally, and most days intellectually...although he is by far the smarter guy (maybe he dumbs it down for me).

Last night he called from his hotel room and shared a story about one of the conversations he had with a co-worker...the co-worker had told a third that SH had the best wife ever (The part where I watch a lot of porn for 'research' being only one of the contributing factors to that statement)

I went to sleep smiling...because SH is the true hero to this story because "he gets me" and that makes him the best husband ever.

Could You Sleep In A Penis Bed?

As Hurricane Faye is down graded to a tropical storm, I am certain that Florida residents are breathing a sigh of relief. I love Florida...had my dream house built in Tampa Bay a few years ago(that's another story)...and I especially have a fondness for Miami which is the home of the Erotic Museum. http://www.weam.com/

I'd really like to schedule a little field trip...if only for one reason...I want to see the penis bed up close and personal...

I Love Commercials...

I'm beginning to think my love of commercials is a fetish...but when a commercial makes me chuckle and has a BDSM theme...I gotta share:

Sunday Funnies

Sir Hotness is back on a plane...will be gone another two weeks...so I'm not feeling very sunny...or funny...but this joke in my email at least made me smile.

Hope you enjoy it!

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Sir Hotness is Home!!

After cancelled flights, and an entire day delay...Sir Hotness is finally home from two weeks of business trip...he's home for approximately 48 hours...

THE QUESTION is how many orgasms can be fit into 48 hours?
I am on a quest to find out...

And mid-quest, I was laughing hysterically remembering this...

Another Loose-Id Contract!

So, I've been working furiously on several WIP this week (even with grandbabies in the house...whew...I really give credit to all writers with small children in the house...crazy days indeed!)

I sent out WIP Living Vicariously last week to Loose-Id and am going over the contract now to mail tomorrow! I really enjoyed writing Living Vicariously because it is a really fun voyeuristic romp through the countryside...

I submitted a WIP to Samhain Publishing Ltd, which, if it is accepted, will be my first Samhain publication:)

And as far as what I'm working on now?
Lovers, Prime, Submissive's Journey, and Prodigal...
Hoping to have all four of them wrapped up and sent out by the end of September...

So that the first of October I can start on Vow of Silence: Book 4 of the Chronicles of Surrender...

For all of the Chronicles readers who were intrigued by Doctor Psycho...this is his story...so get your padded room ready...the doctor is soon to be in session;)

And as a fun share...this image is what I keep in my head while writing Dr. Psycho's parts...

Hugs and Kisses

Roxy

First Unholy Promises Review!

From Mrs. Giggles...who btw does not like BDSM...who knew? She scored Unholy Promises with a 78 I think based on that distaste...but said something that I thought was very nice, "I find myself very riveted by the first few chapters, drawn into them by the emotional intensity of the very damaged antiheroes narrating these chapters." and this, "At the end of the day, I am not the right audience for Unholy Promises. Still, the parts about Thomas and Eva really intrigue me and leave me yearning for more of them so Ms Harte can get me reeled into her story should she come up with something more to my liking one of these days."

I don't know why, but Mrs. giggles left me smiling...maybe it's that part of me that makes me tick, makes me want to write. I love challenging peoples boundaries, but even more I love for readers to fall in love with my characters even though they challenge a boundary or a conception or a prejudice. So, I think all in all this was an outstanding review because it made me fell good and happy inside.

Someone else who made me feel good and happy inside? Rosemary, one of my readers who wrote:(I've cut off the end of her email because it held "spoilers")...
"I LOVED the book. I think what I enjoyed most about it is the way you poignantly showed that love is messy, raw, at times painful, and never fits into a compartmental box tied up with a neat bow. Some times it doesn't even match the ideals we've put around it, like in Thomas' case. But that being said, just because it isn't "neat" and "orderly", it doesn't make it less real, less grand, or perfect in its imperfection..."

Have I mentioned I LOVE HEARING FROM MY READERS??? I do!
So thank you for the email R!

Dear Ex...

I ran across a story on CarolineDivine this morning (written by Freya Linden), one woman's letters to her exes...and it made me smile, because really, don't we all have such a stack of letters lying around our minds? Or is it just me?

Apropos following my evening last night and several random text messages from one of my own exes...I would have accused him of drunken texting...but while we were dating...he didn't drink. Although I've heard from other sources that the woman he dated after me cured him of his aversion to the stuff. From what I've heard...that particular woman would have driven any man to drink...but that is not my story to tell...

So what is it about the ex that makes them so fond in our mind...after we dump them? (I'm sorry that was a cold way of putting it...but true)

I mean the writer of the article went all the way back to third grade...come on...I mean sure I remember Sean, we climbed trees together...he was my first kiss...but did he affect who I am today? Shrug.

There was the girl in junior high who was the first to ever let me see her naked...sigh.

No, the first ex that really helped mold and shape me would come years later...junior year...and the only reason he made an imprint on my life at all was because he introduced me to my body and together we discovered that pain did it for me...smile.

And that's the end of my list that makes me feel anything even slightly resembling sweet thoughts that could potentially go into a thank you note to an ex.

After that?
The guy who dumped me for a stripper named Candy...absolutely nothing nice in my thoughts about him because even though he was my first love, I obviously wasn't his...
The first ex-husband...and honestly during my own drunken moments I can wallow through the emotional overload of merely remembering him to find the happy places we once shared and if I could stop crying long enough there might be a letter.
The second ex-husband...nope nada...no happy letter for him.
The first guy after the second ex husband...hmmm...yep...I actually physically sent him a letter...
The second guy after the second ex husband...and the drunken dialer last night...I really can't think of a single thing I'd put in a letter except maybe to reiterate all of the information that led to him being the ex in the hopes that he could actually find and keep a girl at some point in his future...but not holding my breath on that any longer than the time I spent thinking he might change for me.

Which brings me to my current husband...and to thank him for everything I could possibly thank him for to date would take volumes...which is why I have no intention of ever letting him become an ex...I need to save my writing skills for the super hot erotica my readers expect...
Like the Chronicles of Surrender.
or Dom/sub.
or Control.

Morning After At Sexpressions

Today I am blogging at Liquid Silver Sexpressions at the celebration party following the release of Unholy Promises yesterday. There is included an excerpt so join me there...leave comments...I love comments:)

Hugs
Roxy

Unholy Promises is Now Available!

Buy It Link $5.95

Chapter One Excerpt

UNHOLY PROMISES RELEASE DAY!

Whew...it's finally here:)
And am I ever impatient....

Here is the link to Liquid Silver Book's New Release page and I know it should be listed by 7pm EST...which is (for me right this second) a distant 12 hours away...but today is the day and so I will sit anxiously anticipating the moment it hits...as I hope...are you.

As promised I will be putting up Lord Fyre excerpts...throughout the day...starting now with this excerpt that shows the day Garrett met Thomas:

I was still new to San Francisco then, but had managed to get myself invited to a munch: a chance for sadomasochists to chat, snack, meet like minded individuals, and in some cases, link up to play.

We’d congregated at a Malibu beach house that seemed destined to topple with the first drop of rain. But it was a big, sprawling ranch that offered both mingling areas and private rooms. I had just arrived when he introduced himself as Thomas, a rarity at such meetings where stage names are more often used, and I responded, “Garrett.” That I, too, had used my birth name seemed to please him. He smiled. A good-natured, candid smile. I would later find out that such a smile rarely ever surfaces.

“Well, Garrett, are you here to eat—or play?”

There was something about his manner. He was a leader among men, not a bystander in any sense of the word. He had olive skin, shoulder-length dark hair and he sported a goatee. Tufts of thick dark hair poked out from beneath the rounded edge of his t-shirt collar, leading me to believe he had an abundance of chest hair. His eyes held intelligence and perhaps a bit of unholiness, sparking a primal lust in me stronger even than the lust prompted by Tony; but Tony wasn’t there, not physically, though always lingering somewhere in the back of my brain.
Young, horny, daring...I was more than ready for an adventure, and if Thomas promised nothing else, he would prove to be an adventure.

Since he had taken the lead, I assumed he would Top. It never occurred to me that he might be a gay basher, or a threat of any kind, even though I had at first figured him for straight, perhaps bi. At that point, it didn’t matter because he had all the right attributes to inspire my baser instincts—bulging muscles, audacity, arrogance, and an unnamable sensuality, a charisma that one doesn’t find everyday.

I am tall, six foot, maybe a little more. He stood a head taller than I and it didn’t seem to bother him in the least that I had rocked back on my heels, sizing him up. His self-confidence in itself was erotic.

I leaned forward then and whispered, “Let’s play.”

He nodded at that and, matching my mannerisms, leaned forward before saying, “Then let’s rock. But not here. Does that make you nervous, Garrett?”

“Not really. Do you have someplace special in mind?” I answered with a nonchalant shrug that made him chuckle.

“Definitely.”

So we left the munch in separate cars and I followed his roaring black Firebird in my staid blue Honda to a deserted stretch of beach. Even if I was concerned at this point, I maintained my stance of bored indulgence. This seemed to only amuse him more. I crossed my arms and watched him pull what appeared to be a small suitcase from the trunk of his Firebird.

“Toys,” he offered before leading me into the darkness. A rolling fog engulfed us in her embrace. We resurfaced beside some battered wood pilings, the remains of a long-gone pier. He set down his case of toys and opened it. Now, I have to admit, at this point my blood must have thinned, because I know I wasn’t getting enough oxygen to my brain. And before this moment, I had never thought a mere mortal man could scare me—and maybe fear at this point was too harsh a term, even though my heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. I will say I was definitely nervous. Okay, okay, scared shitless to be exact.

“Strip for me, Garrett.”

The command was sudden, no small talk about the gray clouds or swirling tide, and I was just as instantly mesmerized by the sensual charisma of his voice.