9.10.2008

Own Your Sexuality


Soon after I started dating Sir Hotness...days...he posted this picture on his Myspace page to remind him of what my soul looked like. I think after I'd gotten over the shock that he could see me so clearly, I appreciated him even more...as a friend, as a lover, but also as that ellusive one my soul had sought for centuries.

He's told me more than once that it is because I am who I am, unwilling to wear masks, unwilling to conform to anyone's idea of who they think I should be that attracted him to me in the first place. Part of what makes me...me...is that I own my sexuality.

I found this lovely You Tube Video and I agree with most of it...but she only includes three types of orgasms vaginal, clitoral, and g-spot(and a forth is you count brain orgasms). I feel she neglected to mention anal orgasms...they happen.

She feels surprised that a woman in her fifties may have never experienced an orgasm before...again it happens. Shame about my body was instilled in my mind from an early age. My mother didn't want to address the fact that I even had breasts let alone take me to the store to actually buy a bra (how embarrassing for her.) And heaven forbid if I should have an itch "down there" because you don't touch that...

So if other womens mothers were like mine, yeah, I totally get how they were never brave enough to explore their bodies. Thank goddess, I'm a rebel, I've been touching "down there" since I was about six...

Did you grow up thinking that good girls are quiet and submissive?
Good girls don't enjoy sex?

So many contradictions. Is it any wonder I spent my youth trying so hard to be a boy?
Boys always got to have more fun and right up until the time I couldn't hide the fact that I had breasts...I was right out their amongst them...riding bikes, climbing trees, rummaging through dumpsters for treasure, fighting (oh, how many boys did I make cry because I could throw a solid punch...lol), playing war (I had to be the POW because everyone knows that the POW gets tied up!) and cops/robbers, cowboys/Indians (I always wanted to be the robber and the Indian, what does that say about my psych?) Damn it, boys had more fun...

And then I reached puberty and I found out that boys really got to have more fun.
Our world is a contradiction of gender...

Men can masturbate.
Men can have multiple partners.
Men become men when they have sex for the first time and are ofter encouraged to do so at a very early age...

The same woman who accepts that her boyfriend, lover, husband is sleeping around because he just has a lot of testosterone will be the first to call the woman he's sleeping around with A WHORE. A SLUT...

I won't own either of those labels, but I will own my sexuality.

I'll admit it...I've always hidden the fact that I masturbate. Hell, I masturbate daily, one of my safety mechanisms that kept me from being too promiscuous...And thank goddess I'm through my PRIME because all I wanted to do was masturbate. From age34-37 I could have sex for hours and still hide in the bathroom masturbating. My daily masturbation jumped from once or twice a day to ten or twelve times a day. A single lover can't keep up with that kind of need. Is it any wonder that mid-thirty a woman starts finding early-twenty males too much of a temptation to refuse?

The chemistry matches...just my theory and if you haven't hit your prime yet...you have no idea...

And since I've lived to tell, I have a WIP that is about that very subject matter...a woman's prime. More details as I work it out!

So all I'm saying is own your sexuality...your darkness and your light.

FYI: I posted at The Femme's Guide.

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