Roxy Harte, is a multi-published erotica author exploring the emotional and psychological elements of relationships involving BDSM, bondage, sadist, masochist, dominance, and submission; DDLG, age-play relationships; LGBTQIA relationships; and also relationships in which one of the main characters from a chronic illness or disability. Also blogged topics which may or may not be controvertial in nature. If you are easily offended, don't bother checking this site out.
I'm not sure where the time went but I will be a married woman in less than 24 hrs...
Today, I bought new bras and panties and other lacies...
I had my hair done...
Looking at my bitten fingernails, I wonder if a manicure would even help...
What I haven't done...
-Packed for the honeymoon
-Mapquested directions to the Honeymoon Destination
(Sir Hotness doesn't do mapquest...he likes maps...I'll mapquest!)
-Bought fun honeymoon necessities...candles, oil, bubblebath
(Sir Hotness is in charge of getting new toys for the Special Occasion)
>> He asked me this morning over the phone, "Are you scared yet?"
Hmmm...Now I wonder if he was talking about the "playtime" part or "the rest of my life with him" part? So, if you don't hear from me for awhile...I haven't fallen off the face of the earth ... I'm just tied up screaming in a remote corner of it
OMG, I can't wait!!!!!!
And, just for the fun of it ... share with me ...and my blog readers ... your honeymoon story ... funny, scary, humiliating ... whatever ... for a chance to win a copy of ebook Sacred Secrets or Sacred Revelations (winners choice). Come on ... I know you all have a story to tell!!
Other news worthiness, just because the brave and the bizarre entertain me...
I'm happy to announce that as we closed out the fourth quarter at Liquid Silver Books, Sacred Secrets found itself in the Top Ten Best Sellers List. Whew Hoo!!!!
To celebrate and to honor my fellow authors, here is the official LIST:
2006 Q4 Top Ten
01. The Outcast - Jayelle Drewry
02. The Accidental Lover - Eileen Ann Brennan 03. Wulf - Kayelle Allen 04. Losing It - Kate Willoughby 05. No Going Home - TA Chase 06. Half Wed Moon - Mara Lee 07. Amusing Amanda - DJ Manly 08. Thirty Days - Shayla Kersten 09. Sacred Secrets - Roxy Harte 10. The Heat of the Knight - Scottie Barrett
So to celebrate ... I'm going book shopping ... join me?
Today couldn't get any odder if aliens landed...well maybe if the double penised horned, red-skinned aliens from Xandra's book Alien Communion showed up for tea and a lesson in rope bondage...but then I'd just have to tell them to come back in May for the Big Rope Conference because today ... because, I'm just too busy to be tied up or probed...
For example, I have been playing peek-a-boo with the almost one year old granddaughter for over half an hour...and she's not bored yet ... as a matter of fact, when the blanket stops covering her head for more than what she considers appropriate play lag ... she screams bloody murder...
The three year old granddaughter is so engrossed in Paramont Picture's Barnyard that the house could burn down and she wouldn't notice ... I can understand completely. I was totally reduced to mush when Ben The Good Cow Died and the barnyard had a very touching funeral service.
During the Peek-A-Boo, Funeral Moment, a very important realestate investor called and I was trying to talk him through a contract negotiation, save a deal, and arrange a meeting for later in the day... Yes, there was so much drama that he suggested he fax the contract over and stick an earnest money check in the mail ... I'm feel very unprofessional but the one year old is not screaming. Yeah for me.
I have four hours data entry beaconing from the table top and I'm watching The Barnyard ...AGAIN ... which is actually an improvement since Nemo has played through twice as well and I needed a break from "just keep swimming, just keep swimming...)
How did I end up in this predicament?
You guessed it ... leather clad, flogger yielding Roxy is a pushover. The oldest came to make sure that I was okay (had not lost my mind) since I was getting married to a man I barely know ...and deciding that I am in fact sane ... decided I am also capable of babysitting for a few hours...
I find it laugh out loud funny that so many people are finding it so hard to believe that I am getting married. Yes, I admit, I was jaded. I'll even go so far as to say that for a while...I hated most men. But why is it so hard to believe that maybe it took a while to find the right man? And really, what makes the right man--the RIGHT MAN?
Take my ex-husband...he called tonight to ask if I was still going through with it. He can't believe I'd do THIS...
Then there is the ex-boyfriend...he sent an email tonight as well...
Okay, I don't get it. They don't want anyone else to find happiness with me??
Then there is my lovely oldest daughter, who called today to say that she is coming over tomorrow...just to make sure that I'm okay, in case I want to talk, because she wants to make certain I'm getting married for the right reasons...
What are the right reasons?
I walk into a room and his eyes light up when he sees me... He whispers he loves me from across a room so that I read his lips and no one else is wiser... He finishes my sentences, and I finish his... He makes me laugh with true joy...and I haven't felt such heartfelt happiness in decades. And sex appeal? Ohhhhyeahhhh. That's why we hooked up. Remember J, my vanilla friend that maybe isn't so vanilla? Well, she was there the first time I met Sir Hotness...then he walked away...and my comment to her was, "OMG, I'm fucking WET!" Her comment was, "So?" And I answered her with the truth...I hadn't gotten honest to goodness wet without artificial assistance ie lube in YEARS. As soon as she heard that she said, "My god, go find him! Would you really let him disappear before you even have his name and number?" and the answer to that was NO ... I gave him my name and number.
I think all of these are very good reasons and it isn't even a start to all the reasons why I love this man. It isn't even the starting ground for why we are getting married after only three months.
I would ask, why wait? There isn't anyone out there who can make me feel the way he makes me feel and I'm certain he feels the same way. Why? Because he says it's so...and I believe him.
That's why today we went to get a marriage license and that's why Thursday by the light of the full moon I am committing to sharing my life with this man.
I could say I woke up to an amazing private message from Lisa Andel, one of the LSB authors, but the waking up part would be a lie, since I've pretty much been awake all night...and not the screaming in pleasure/pain I wanna be awake that would have been wonderful but the tossing and turning, lay down, get back up, yo-yo that made it a fairly awful sleep night. The cause? Pick one... High stress job? Teenager Worries? Daughter and Grandbabies on the road travelling without recent word that they're okay? Bridal Jitters? Failed Past Relationships?
Goddess help me.
So Lisa Andel sending me this LINK to a recent review of Sacred Secrets... Well, lets just say that she's the hero of my morning...
This is what Plain Jane said about Sacred Secrets:
Review for Sacred Secrets Author: Roxy Harte Date of Review: 01/20/07 Reviewed by: Jane Anderson
Reviewer Comments: If had ended differently, I would have rated this book higher; but now I have to buy the sequel because I am so involved in Celia's life that I have to know that it all turns out okay for her and truthfully, I'm terrified for her.
How's that for getting WAY INTO A BOOK?
Normally, I take a few days reading a book, not this one...by chapter three I was in over my head with these characters and by chapter eight it was way past my bedtime...then, the book went with me to work...and I read through most of my shift.
I love the way Roxy Harte pulled me in using both hers and his points of view in almost alternating chapters. I don't think this book would have been as compelling if it had been written any other way.
I love that I was in the head of the submissive and then next chapter, I was in the head of the Dominant.
I felt real emotion, sometimes deep wretching emotion reading this book. I've thought about this book long after the final word...and now, I'm waiting...waiting for the conclusion and I feel like it's me that's torn open and needing fixed as much as Celia.
I have never been as affected by a book as I was with Sacred Secrets.
So now, are you convinced to BUY SACRED SECRETS? What? You already bought Sacred Secrets? Why not tell a friend about it?
Is this shameless self-promotion first thing on a Sunday morning? Yep! No apologies there! You see, a snowstorm is coming and I'll be driving right into it on my way to show a house (real estate agent by day) to a couple who are insisting on seeing the house even though they won't write a contract, out of their price range, and I'm obligated to show them...even though it's more than an hour's drive away from me....and I haven't slept.
At this moment, being a full time erotic romance writer would REALLY work for me. So if anyone out there is reading this...and maybe knows a big-time New York editor type...I really, really don't mind if you toss my name around a bit!
There is an Iguana in Antwerp who is about to have one of his two penises amputated as an effort to save his life. It seems the poor fellow was jilted by his lover pre-ejaculation and has been dragging his very hard erection through the dirt ever since (over a week).
Other, strangely sexual in nature stories filled the internet highways this morning? I should ask Dar how the planets are aligning...it may portend a very frisky upcoming honeymoon weekend for me! We can hope! Read the rest of what what happening when you weren't really paying attention...
In Saratoga, California there is a serial exhibitionist roaming the woods, running nude much to the surprise of the hikers and equestrians who have crossed his path over the last year and a half that he has been "streaking". He is described as "Polite","frumpy. Plain. Not in good physical shape. It's not a pretty sight" and "with dark hair, sweaty red skin and lack of body hair, (making him easily recognizable)" So I guess the answer is if you are going to be an exhibitionist in California...get a tan and get some muscles because being polite isn't going to get you anywhere.
In Yonkers, NY a teacher has been barred from teaching his students. It seems he was a little too exhuberant teaching and has been reduced to administrative duties until the superintendent can arrange to have the Board of Trustees to fire him. His crime, having seventh graders draw penises on the chaulkboard during an anatomy/sexuality class. One parent complained.
A researcher at the Oregon Health and Science University may have to halt his five years of research on what makes 8% of all male sheep gay. The goal, he says, is to understand the fundamental mechanisms of sexual orientation in sheep. Other researchers might some day build on his findings to seek ways to determine which rams are likeliest to breed. However, protests from PETA have reigned harsh criticism on him, saying that he is trying to create a prenatal gay cure.
There's more...much more... But I'll save it for another post.
Any thoughts to share?
If not, here are some cartoons to brighten your day. As evidenced by this forced feminization of Tom, I was not the only mind warped at an early age by the amount of bondage prevelant in the Tom and Jerry early morning funnies:
Today I had lunch with some friends I haven't seen for awhile...fairly vanilla friends (although I'll never forget the day that J showed up at work and announced she had broken her self-enforced abstinence (she lasted 30 days) by demanding of her then ex "get every toy in the house and DO ME NOW!")although maybe not THAT vanilla.
So, sitting over pasta, J knew EXACTLY how long I've been seeing Sir Hotness because she was there when I met him but no one else at the table knew ... they assumed I was marrying "my EX"...
and upon hearing that no...not exactly...this is "the new guy;)"
"New Guy? How new?"
"Well, in three days I'll have been dating him exactly three months."
Talk about silencing a table...
In other friendly realms...namely the author forums amid talk of the the pros of DSL over high-speed internet...are sprinkled such comments as the one left by Mike of LSB, "Speaking of high-speed connections, way to go Roxy!" or the one left by Celine also LSB, "What ARE you wearing for the wedding? Rope burns?"
Or the private message sent by Lila though private message through the forum (now becoming not so private)with my reply in pink: You're getting MARRIED in SIX DAYS?
Where? ... legal ceremony:local mayor in a private ceremony ritual ceremony: a few hours later under the full moon, skyclad
what are you wearing? ... crocheted lace dress my mom bought me.
and more importantly what are you wearing underneith? ... nothing underneath because that is the way Sir Hotness likes me;) ...
One of my every few day blog visits is to a lovely girl's site named Mistress Matisse's Journal. Some of my regular reader's already know this because I've taken you there on field trips in the past...and also to her primary and secondary partner's sites just because they too have interesting topics or pictures on occasion.
Today, Mistress Matisse wrote: "Not surprisingly, many of my kinky pals are also pretty geeky/nerdy. (There is a definite overlap between certain social subcultures. For example, take these groups: BDSM people, pagans, Ren Faire people, Goths, poly people, and science fiction/fantasy fans. These social groups interlock like the Olympic rings, if you actively participate in any one of them, you definitely know people in some of the others. And chances are good you actually belong to more than one group. Why is this true? That I can't say, although it's amusing to speculate about after a drink or two.)"
Although I laughed, nodding my head in agreement about the interlocking rings, her POV raised a very serious question since I currently fit into at least four of the six groups and at least once in my life five categories simutaneously...Am I GEEKY/NERDY? Because I've never considered myself geeky or nerdy...although my teenage daughter tells me on an almost daily basis that I am indeed...
When I think of geeks...and or nerds...I always think of the science geeks ...you know, the guys who keep three pens handy in their front shirt pockets...(no offence Sir Hotness because even though you are a microbiologist you are totally not geeky or nerdy in my mind either, even though I'm sure back in the day you founded the H.S. Science Club;)
I don't think of my friend Xandra, who fits at least three of the catagories as well, even though she may call herself a geek...I'll have to ask her because she also does role-playing games and she's currently pouting about her soon to be internet-less status...
And ...come to think of it I'm pretty sure Sir Hotness enjoys role-playing games too...so according to Matisse's definition both Xandra and Sir Hotness are Geeky Nerds.
I am therefore safe because I do not play role-playing games...Ha!
This was the week that I was going to announce the beginning of a book promotion by Liquid Silver Books for fast approaching Valentines Day (my favorite holiday)...but I don't have all the information to share...which includes winning FREE BOOKS, because I've been a bit distracted by life...so you will have to stop back by for the big announcement.
So, what could be so important as to distract Roxy from the important business of self-promotion? Beautiful Girl...
You may remember when Beautiful Girl was playing soccer in October and we ended up at the emergency room. That day she went to the E.R. with a concussion, received a CAT Scan, and had a great story to tell at school the next day and photos of one pupil dilated, the other tiny, tiny...and a headache from hell that lasted a week... and then two weeks ... and then two months. At which point Roxy was very frustrated with the pediatrician who kept saying that we would just have to wait it out--that sometimes concussions took awhile to recover from; however, she took the time to make an appointment with a neurologist...and luckily**read sarcasm**it only took seven weeks additional waiting to be seen by the pediatric neurologist.
Yesterday, we went to the neurologist, thinking an hour or two tops, then girls could have fun playing hooky for the rest of the day and use a Dr.'s excuse for a day out of school. Six and a half hours later, we came home even more frustrated than all the months of waiting combined...and a follow-up visit...in six more weeks.
So today, I'm waiting for MRI results and doing little else...although, Sir Hotness assures me that if Kiya had a major blood clot blockage (one of the neurologists guesses) the radiologist wouldn't have let her left the hospital. One of her other guesses was a damaged optic nerve, which after two hours at the opthamologist this morning, turned out to be incorrect...
Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a very patient person? Waiting sucks.
Some days the girl should not be left home alone and bored... The highlight has been finding this at You Tube...
Yes, I know...Sir Hotness really should drive in that hour and a half to see me...even if it is snowing and the roads are treacherous...if merely for the sake of all of you readers who have been forced to share my moment of boredom...
Okay, ladies, after an alarming private email, I decided that yesterday's post needs to be expanded on. I didn't realize that when I put out the command to tell the guys what you like and how you like to be touched it could cause so much stress. My emailer explained, "I know what an orgasm is, because I lucked out once and a random partner did the right thing at the right moment and wow, but then I never saw him after that to know if he could make it happen again."
Without being too nosey, I'm sorry you never had the opportuntiy to enjoy this man again, but don't dispair. Let's go back to the part where he did the right thing at the right moment, could you reproduce what he did if you did that for yourself? (And yes, I realize, before some smart ass points it out that if the guy was performing fellatio, it might be hard to do exactly what he did) but given a quiet room, some lubricant, and the permission to touch yourself...
Go ahead, stop reading...you can come back later...right now would be a good time for a little old-fashioned masturbation, and yes, I'm giving you permission to touch yourself, make yourself feel good, and realize the orgasm may not happen the first time or the second time, but if you keep at it, you will definitely learn what feels good...and what doesn't. And that is the goal, learning to make yourself feel good, and then with time, the feeling good will turn into feeling even better, until voila...you can orgasm at will...whenever you want to...and you won't have to wait for the guy to do the right thing at the right moment by chance...you can also teach him what makes you feel good...if you wanna.
So, if you are reading, I'm assuming you took the time to go pleasure yourself a little and I want to be the first to congratulate you on your effort, regardless if you orgasmed or not. Don't be embarressed. For a while, touch yolurself every day...until you become an expert at touching your own body. And if by chance, you're still reading, but didn't take the time to touch yourself because you think it's wrong, or evil, or because it wasn't dark enough outside...whatever the excuse...please know that you have probably been conditioned to think that it was wrong to touch yourself at an early age by your parents...though negative messages.
You can start to overcome these feelings of being "wrong" by feeling sensations with a not obvious intent to solely masturbate. One of my favorite methods of self pleasure rarely leads to orgasm, but it feels so damn good it's worth mentioning now as a way to get to know what you like. First, run a bath, very warm is good. Once you are in the water, feel what the water feels like when you make ripples. Then, add some oil to the water, and rub some across your body as well. Soon, you will notice that the contrast of the water against your oily skin is greater, your skin actually feels more sensitive. Now, might be a good time to touch yourself...
Okay, I admit I've been lurking around the shadowy orifices of more than one or two or three psychology sites...mainly human sexuality and sexual deviant psychology sites, doing research for info into the mind of Dr. Psycho (introduced in Book I, rementioned in Book 2, and deserving of his very own Chronicle of Surrender)...and it's messing with my brain.
...a female orgasm can be frustratingly evasive. While about 85 to 90 percent of women are capable of having an orgasm, according to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., vice president of the World Association for Sexology, only about one-third have had one during intercourse. That said, it's important to remember that orgasm should never be the goal."In goal-oriented sexual interactions, each step leads to the top step, or the big "O"--orgasm," says Whipple. "Goal-oriented people who don't reach the top step don't feel very good about the process that has occurred. Whereas for people who are pleasure oriented, any activity can be an end in itself; it doesn't have to lead to something else. Sometimes, we're very satisfied holding hands or cuddling. There would be a lot more pleasure in this world if people would just focus on the process."Whipple also points out that the psychological ramifications of dissatisfying sexual interactions are not often suffered alone; they can cause distress in both partners. "If one person in a relationship is goal-oriented and the other is pleasure-oriented, and neither is aware of their own orientation, they don't communicate that with their partner," she explains. "A lot of relationship problems can develop. In my workshops with couples, I help them be aware of how they view sexual interactions and then communicate this with their partner."
So communication is good, the problem is how to communicate. I'm sure I'm not the only girl out there who has wanted to scream, "Hey! Stop THAT, it isn't working for me! Do this..."
And on occasion, I may have screeched something along those lines but then Goddess only knows how much fun it is to be in bed with a naked, POUTING man...The problem is, does that make me goal-oriented because yeah, I do want that orgasm...repeatedly...or does that make me pleasure oriented? because really, I'm only wanting it too FEEL GOOD...and then the natural conclusion of feeling good is that elusive orgasm...
Which leads me to the question, is it really elusive or do some men just not know how to help a girl get there?
Do men even know where the clitoris is?
Or for that matter what its function is?
I think it's our responsibility to physically show them what we like...exactly how we like it... (which, BTW, worked fairly well with Sir Hotness...but only because he demanded I show him...which at the time seemed totally embarressing...but now, I'm glad he did...but it makes me wonder if I would have been brave enough to show him had he not demanded...)
So really, as the girls, shouldn't we just get over the shyness, embarressment...whatever we think we're feeling...and just show them!! ... because only one in three girls having orgasms isn't good enough, ladies...
So, SHOW THEM!
But then after showing a guy where it is, what it's for and HOW you like it...then comes trying to explain that there are different kinds of orgasms...outties (clitoral), innies (vaginal), or those wonderful combination orgasms tht happen when the innie and outtie happen at the same time because the guy has figured it out...halleiluia...making all that communicating and pouting worth it.
Yes, when I saw the title, I snorted...thinking of the lengths I go to in order to ensure that I do occasionally have wild, crazy, insane, tie me up and do wicked things to me sex...talk about planning...
But then, I started thinking, what about the everyday quickie, or every other weekend lock myself and committed other in a room for 24/7 sexcapades until the wee hours of Monday morning makes us realize that we have to sleep if we're to function at all on the job (or decide quickly if we're calling off sick to make it an even longer sexcapade weekend?)
Sure, the long-distance relationship with Sir Hotness has improved my sex life DRAMATICALLY ... and he's an hour and a half away ... but what was I doing before Sir Hotness?
Absolutely Nothing! Unless work classifies... And then, I could say...10, 12, 14 hr days of 7 days a week on the job excitement...ew-eeeeee!
Sorry, not good enough...girl likes orgasms, multiple orgasms, and sadly my job doesn't provide those as a fringe benefit. So, why are we so quick to say yes to extra hours when it's not only cutting into our eatting, sleeping, showering time but also OUR WILD, CRAZY MONKEY SEX TIME???????????
The BBC reported, "Today's women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts, say researchers."
Okay, this is too wrong for words...I am potentially having less sex than MY MOTHER?! Pleeeeease! Tell me it isn't so!
The BBC also reported, "Researchers from the Kinsey Institute said women now have less time for sex. They found that 42% of women who cohabit with male partners have sex two or three times a week. This compares to just one in three married women."
So what does THAT mean? Single, I'm having sex 2 or 3 times a week but married I have only a one in three shot at having sex three times a week? What do the other two out of three get? By the doomsday reporting thus far, I'm betting LESS? And here, I'm in a rush to get married so that I can have MORE...because yeah, I'm greedy like that. I think it's every girls right to have sex three times A DAY...EVERY DAY! Are you listening Sir Hotness? Because Less isn't happening and I do have a flogger to make sure I get my way;)
However, Skyler Grey, pointed out by sending me this photo the other day...that I don't need a flogger to get my way...
I've gone missing...that's what I told a friend's message machine when she didn't answer her own phone but left a previous message on mine when she called to complain that not only was I not online, I'm not blogging, I'm not on Myspace, I'm not in yoga class, I'm not at the Bistro, I'm not at the Coffee Shop...I'm not answering my phone...so where the fuck am I?
Missing... Hiding... Thinking too much most definitely...
And actually I have blogged...I have half a dozen saved as drafts but it seems like what I have to say is too little...or too much...about topics which are so important that they are mind boggling...or so trivial that I lost brain cells writing them.
So today, is Thursday...
I survived the Office Meeting yesterday that almost blew my career because a girl can only hold her tongue so fucking long...and really...I blame it on Sir Hotness because he gave me the power to be ballsy and stand up for myself (thank you for that, love)...BTW...I do still have a career.
I survived Tuesday, a not too eventful day but one that was filled with incredible sadness because I learned a friend has cancer...
I survived Monday...a friend critiqued Sacred revelations and she told me exactly what I needed to fix, though I already knew what needed to be fixed, but hated admitting what I need to do, knowing my editor is going to kill me...but it will be a much better final product...so I will bravely go where no romance writer wants to go...back to the middle of the madness to save not a sagging middle but a middle so full it needs expounding on...ie...add 20K words and we should be good to go.
I need a weekend...and a good book to read. Or maybe I'll go to a movie...
The movie is gonna win but there are so many to choose from... In no particular order: Children of Men ... imagine a world with NO children... Pan's Labyrinth ... a fairytale for adults The Pursuit of Happyness ... Hope, Dreams...a little boy too cute for words...bring Kleenex
Beautiful Girl is voting for Pan's Labyrinth Friday night and I'm not telling her it's subtitled.
Wow, leave it to the Japanese to figure out the answer to a long distance relationship...and here I was very happy with the solution Sir Hotness and I came up with when we decided to get married and cohabitate...making sex really up close and personal all the time. Although, I may miss the phone sex...we were getting really good at it...almost to the point that I was certain I could entertain a second career with a 900-number...
Sorry, I digress....
Back to the Japanese, and I've seen their prototypes enough to know that they were onto something...but imagine having your very own "CYBER STICK" that you could lick, caress, insert and general get off on (and even video tape the experience for your long distance partner) so that miles away "YOUR LOVER" could view the video, insert his penis into the "CYBER HOLE" and feel every sensation as recorded by your cyber-stick.
uh-huh...
I know, you're shaking your head in wonder...I was too. I mean with the availability of cyber-holes and videos, men may never have need of a warm bodied woman again...ever. Distressing.
But then, after a little more research, I found that the male Japanese designers weren't being totally selfish...they actually designed the units vica-versa as well and the woman's piece of the puzzle is actually fairly anatomically correct (although a bit small) and responds with all the appropriate vigor of a warm bodied man minus the grunting, sweaty part.
hmmm...
I kind of like the sweaty, grunting parts...especially...if there is also screaming involved, I mean, why get naked if there isn't grunting and screaming. And if there's no sweat was it really all that? And then there's the bonus drool, tears, blood to let you know you really, really had a good time...can cyber-sex really take the place of all that?
I'm beginning to understand why only 10% of Japanese women report having satisfactory sex lives. I just don't think Japanese men quite get the concept.
I think I'll stick with my plan as is...now if they ever come up with a complete BDSM virtual experience...cyber flogging, cyber bondage...I may want to sign up as a test-dummy just so I can report back to my readers my own Cyber-Experience...you know, in the name of scientific research.
Okay, okay, I know I've just about worn out my readers with talk of proposals and weddings...when all you really dropped by for was the latest scoop on what's new in vibrating dildos...however; we have one important topic that's rolling around my brain...the long, romantic, extended weekend otherwise known as THE HONEYMOON.
And, not to be mean, but several well-meaning and concerned readers who were aghast at hearing the news that Sir Hotness proposed OVER THE PHONE...and feel like he really doesn't have a romantic bone in his body...which I assure you...he does...REALLY...but said readers insist that it is now all about the honeymoon and that he must truly pull out all the stops.
Hmmm.... So I went Romantic (Extended Weekend) Honeymoon shopping and found that we really are limited on romantic destinations especially since I refuse to go to Gatlinburg (nearest elopement capital to moi) or Las Vegas (just can't...sorry, it's just too Elvis)
But I did find a few that are tempting...very, very tempting:
I'VE MANAGED TO MAKE THE ROUNDS OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ... AND THE STANDARD REACTION IS ... "YOU'RE DATING SOMEONE?"
Ahhhh...Yeah... Roxy Dates...Duh. It's not ALWAYS about whips and chains... And... Yes, Roxy Harte is getting married. And YES...we've only been dating 2 months!
For those of you who know me very well, this is most unexpected, because to say I'm jaded is an understatement...well, that and I said over and over and over that if it didn't work with the last guy, I was changing teams full time.
So, obviously I didn't change teams full time...
The announcement was worth it just in the entertainment value of the reactions... The ex-husband, "Wow...that's soon. I mean, wow...that's really soon." The middle daughter, "I knew you went insane but this is proof that you need locked up in a mental ward." (hmmm...restraints, straight jackets, electrical shock...that might be a little too much fun. I might not want to leave.) The friend who sent me this video with the question, "So, really, DO YOU KNOW HIM well enough for this?"
I know him well enough to know that he has all the important equipment and he REALLY knows how to use it...you know, nipple clamps, rope, assorted gadgets **grins**
But yes, it's a shock to those who loved me best when I was jaded, sarcastic, and hated most men...unless they were licking my boots or other important parts. In response to the myriad of,"what happened??" questions...
I never expected to laugh again, not for real...I'd been faking laughter for years and no one had caught on...so why risk trying it for real? Then I met R and within two minutes of hello I was laughing so hard tears were running down my face. The first time we were actually alone, I took a call, did what I do, responded with the proper tone inflection at the proper response times and even threw in a giggle or two for good measure. Hanging up, R asked, "What was that?" I said, "What?" He said, "The performance." And I started to cry because no one has ever seen through me before...and you have to realize that at one time I was married for fifteen years and even he didn't see the real me.
So I admitted to R how truly miserable I'd become over the years...wearing mask on top of mask until not even I was sure who I was anymore and R made me promise that I'd never fake it with him. That we'd only have one hundred percent real between us. And strangely, it's the easiest thing I've ever done. Beause he can honestly accept me for who I am. That's why, after only two months, I am marrying R. He lets me be real even when it isn't pretty to do so...
I fell in love. Wow. Something Roxy never expected.
Planning a wedding isn't easy...and to be honest, you think I'd be a pro by now with two walks down the aisle behind me. But no, not easy. What does the girl wear third time around? And isn't the wedding REALLY all about the dress? So, leather bodice and white lace skirt? or maybe black satin?
I'm beginning to think eloping may be in order...or at the very least a quick five minutes before a justice of the peace and call it a day. Not very romantic, but then, the real romance is after the ceremony anyway, isn't it?
I'm more about the honeymoon than the walk down the aisle...give me a pool side room anywhere tropical, a few cutesy, frozen drinks with itty bitty umbrellas and a sexy man to rub oil on my back...yeah, that's the romantic part...throw in a few nipple clamps, a flogger, vibrating dildos and a cockring and suddenly the honeymoon is heaven on earth.
Somedays start out like shit...like today...woke up at three a.m. tossed about until six when the alarm went off only to fall asleep until quarter after seven, needing to be where I needed to be at seven-thirty and yes, it's a twenty minute drive...shit... and then...and only then, does the day really begin to go down hill.
But not today. Today did not take the downward plunge although at quarter til eight I was late, still wretched with a flu bug ongoing for what seems like eternity but in reality has been only ten days, deludged by phone calls and hardly able to communicate through a hoarse, rough throat, and royally pissed because I wasn't able to think through the fuzzy sleep deprived brain ...
Seems bad enough and I was cranky enough ... definitely a shit day.
Then, out of the clear blue, a phone call I didn't mind being on because Sir Hotness was on the other end of the line...and a single question that turned the events of the day, stunned me into silence, and made my heart skip a beat...
Of course I can't divulge all my secrets but my head has been spinning since the clock struck midnight three days ago...
Since getting Sacred Revelations: Book 2 of the Chronicles of Surrender to the publisher, I have been writing up a storm. Sixteen thousand words into a story called Submissive which is to be part of an Anthology...and another Five thousand words into a story called Divorce is Just the Beginning due to come out as part of a second anthology later in the year...
Plus, my real job...
Plus, time spent with the New Hotness...
Plus, trying not to neglect Beautiful Girl, so Thursday was desinated Girls Night Out and we will be off to see a sneak preview of the Freedom Writers...
I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep up with myself if I keep this pace up but I'm sure having a good time! Happy New Year everyone!!
During my wanderings I ran across AskMen.com and was at once intrigued then after reading momentarily horrified. After a bit I decided that the good balanced the bad, but overall I was left with a better understanding of just why men and women don't always see eye to eye...
Intriguing Sex Positions: With name's like the Boston Brute, the Merry Mandolin, Othello's Back Groove and the Reverse Frog Squat it was worth checking into ... I'll leave it up to you guys to comment on your success rate, I'm more than willing to take on the challenge of trying to figure out how to make Super Hero's Delight, Zero Gravity and Orthello's Back Groove work...
Really Bad Advice: In a question to the sexual adviser titled in bad taste: Stank in The Tank, a man complained about his girlfriend having a bad odor below her belly button and the fact that he hasn't gone down there since...
The advice given was: "I know it's difficult to reveal that you're not pleased with your partner's odor, but if you're able to make love to her, then you should be able to discuss this matter. You don't have to say anything insulting. Rather, you can take her into the shower with you. Or you can lead by example and tell her you're going to take a shower... first. Or, during foreplay, you could reveal that you want to explore her body at length and maybe she should freshen up before you both get undressed. Believe it or not, even when men don't shower, they emit an unflattering odor around their genital area. And because women have constant moisture down there, it's only normal that they will end up emitting a strong odor as well. "
Why do I see this as bad advice? If the adviser is in the medical profession and I assume he is...he might have suggested that his gf might be suffering from a medical condition, ranging from mild to severe. Because normal, healthy girls shouldn't be so foul smelling as to make a man swear off cunnilingus.
The Balancing Good Advice: A man wrote in complaining, "My girlfriend ejaculates forcefully and I don't care for the sensation of being urinated on or the smell. I've never experienced this in a woman before. Furthermore, my girlfriend doesn't like it. Is there a way to rectify this situation? "
AskMen.com Adviser replied at length here and ending with, "...she's not urinating on you...Do you enjoy ejaculating? Of course you do, so how could you say she doesn't? ...perhaps you should stop turning her on or even making love to her for that matter. But is that really what you want?"
First six hours of 2007 spent in screaming ecstasy, pass out, wake up six hours later to more screaming ecstasy...yeah, I think I'm going to like 2007. Tell me your drunken (or sober) New Years Eve sex tales for a chance to win a first copy of Sacred Revelations...
