A VOYEUR Excerpt

Loose-Id posted an excerpt for Voyeur...one of my favorite scenes as it turns out. Which I have decided to repost here;)

Excerpt starts here:
She rethought. I have a date. She giggled, remembering the stolen kiss. She’d never thought to see him again, no matter how intrigued she’d been, no matter how wonderful the kiss had been. And Jonas on the bus…oh my…intrigue spiked to a whole new level. She was definitely looking forward to their date. Maybe she would actually have something to share for the next Saturday morning confessional.

With a hopeful smile, she entered the elevator that would take her back upstairs to the club. The elevator doors closed, shutting out the traffic noise.

“Hello.”

Autumn jumped, spinning to face a man standing in the corner that she hadn’t realized was there. Small slurping noises drew her eyes down to where a bleached blonde sat on her knees delivering a blowjob. Eyes wide, jaw dropped, Autumn spun around to face the front of the car.

Be calm, be calm. It’s just a man getting a blowjob.

Oh shit! Be calm! Becalmbecalmbecalm! she chanted, though it didn’t matter that she’d been chanting her mantra all night…this moment was no more conducive to being calm than any of the others, including her baptism by stage show. She was still not sure how she’d missed realizing the woman on stage was a man -- until after he’d raised his skirt and revealed the very naked truth of the matter. Or a woman who wanted to hook up and allow her boy toy to watch. This was just one more very uncalm moment to join the list. She watched the blinking numbers announce each floor. Why was the club all the way at the top?

The slurping grew louder and she considered getting off on the next floor, but her fingers wouldn’t reach out to touch one of the glowing buttons. She thought they’d be as embarrassed as she, but glancing over her shoulder, she decided, not him; he looked entirely too smug. Why hadn’t the woman jumped up to adjust her clothing? If it were her, she knew she would be cringing behind the man with embarrassment. No, what was she thinking? She would never be caught in such a compromising position.

Juliet would. Kim would too. And Delilah had already revealed in too much detail an incident eerily similar a few months earlier on their legendary Saturday morning conference calls…though she had been the one giving the blowjob.

What did that say about her friends? She knew for a fact that they weren’t sluts. She reminded herself to have a serious discussion with herself later as to what specifically did define slut these days, just to clarify; they were just fun loving. And yes, Autumn liked to think of herself as fun loving too; however, she never seemed to luck into the opportunities her friends did and she wasn’t brave.

They would see this as a primo opportune, but that led to the question, what to do with the opportunity? She didn’t have a clue…she was after all…just a watcher. She sighed, nonchalantly looking over her shoulder to check out the man. At first glance, he’d been incredible. And at second glance? Devastating. He looked as if he’d walked out of the pages of a glossy magazine, a model, or someone famous, or someone who should be famous. His shoulder-length black hair fell around his face as he looked down at the woman sucking his cock. With a mere lift of his eyes, mysterious hazel irises surrounded by the thickest set of lashes she’d ever seen on a man, he captivated Autumn.

He winked. She jumped, seeming to wake from a dream that concealed the woman still on her knees between this man’s legs. Yes, he still leaned into the wall of the elevator, casual as could be, even though a woman greedily slurped between his thighs.

Normally, she enjoyed a good voyeuristic moment…but this was pushing it. She’d never watched so openly before, or in such close proximity. Don’t look there!

Autumn forced her eyes to focus above his shoulders, examining closer the strong face with chiseled features and a black goatee that made him deadly as sin. Shadows now hid his eyes but his nose was strong and nicely shaped, if a little crooked, like it had been broken before.

He looked like Rick Springfield. Knowledge dawned slowly. She gaped, knowing without a doubt that she was looking at Master M.

But wasn’t he with Juliet?

Unless…he’d already made her fly and now he was…

“Damn. That was fast.”

He lifted his brow at her comment, then looked down at his dick. “No, not really.”

Autumn ducked her face, snickering. Maybe he’d never had a chance to hook up with Juliet…well, obviously he hadn’t because there hadn’t been enough time…right? Flying would surely take more than a few minutes, and if he hadn’t made Juliet fly, Autumn couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t relieved. Flying seemed…dangerous.

She took another peek at the man’s face and decided he looked dangerous.

He wore a leather vest, his tanned chest bare, exposing a nice line of muscles over his stomach that led to his pelvis like a sharp arrow. Faded blue jeans rode low on his hips, unzipped and opened…

She looked. Shit! She glanced away as quickly as she could but not before noticing the long, thick penis sliding in and out of the woman’s mouth.

“Like what you see?”

The smug bastard! In a flash, she turned to face him, ready to give him a piece of her mind, tired as she was of all men being bastards, when the peculiarity of the moment dawned on her… Shouldn’t he be enjoying the attention of the woman between his thighs? Shouldn’t he be lost in bliss, moaning and whispering encouragement? Shouldn’t he be coming by now? But as his gaze snagged hers, his look smoldered challenge and she got lost in the depths of his teasing hazel eyes and sinfully thick dark lashes.

He isn’t enjoying her performance at all.

“Well?” he demanded.

She looked him over.

She drawled, “You’re easy on the eyes,” turning away with a blush and determined to not keep looking at him. She steeled her eyes on the faded gray elevator doors.

Proud of herself for being so brave, Autumn forced away her blush; this had gone beyond insanity. This was something she could tell her friends about! Finally, her very own great adventure…

She could almost hear the silence of their bated breath, waiting for her to tell all for a change.

Autumn sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, seeing the picture in her mind as they waited…and realizing she had absolutely nothing to tell. Oh yeah, except for the challenge she’d felt emanating from those incredible bedroom eyes. A challenge she’d met with a smart comeback. Great. Awesome story.

“That’s it? I’m easy on the eyes?” His voice was loaded with mock challenge and, strangely, disappointment.

Oh, she thought with despair, what would her friends do? She snorted. Kim or Delilah would offer to do him next and she certainly wouldn’t go there. What would Juliet do? No, no. She imagined an erotic Juliet sandwich and knew she would definitely not go there! But possibly, just possibly, she was capable of a naughty stunt of her own, especially since the likelihood of ever seeing him again was beyond remote. Her eyes flew up to the lighted numbers above the elevator doors, counting up their ascent. Still, seven floors to go. Time. She had time. But to do --

No time to think, Autumn, just do something. Do something!

For the first time in her life, she did what she felt compelled to do and backed up and leaned against the elevator wall, putting her side to side with the man. She didn’t look down at the woman on her knees who -- despite Autumn’s arrival in the elevator -- kept sucking. She forced her eyes to his face. Another step found her brushing against his body. She reached to touch him, grazing her fingers over his jaw. She smoothed her fingers over his face, then wrapped her hand around the base of his neck. He didn’t move, not one inch, though his dark eyes widened and the smirk left his face. She grew bolder, knowing he hadn’t expected this.

She felt his rising chest go still beneath the press of her breasts as she moved even closer. She wanted to believe that she was responsible…that somehow because of her nearness he’d forgotten to breathe…but then his breath left in a hiss.

His eyes closed, briefly, long enough for her to gather enough bravado to press her lips to his wide mouth, but only to plant soft kisses at the corners of his lips. His lips were as soft as rose petals and she longed to sweep out her tongue, just for a little taste, but she didn’t dare. His eyes opened and for a second she was caught in their wonder. Seeking safer haven than their golden-flecked depths, she lowered her eyes to his chest, her hands traveling where her eyes wandered…over his collarbone, down the line between his pecs.

He still hadn’t moved a muscle to touch her, but he was definitely paying attention to her, and his breathing had kicked up a notch. She leaned her head back to look directly into his eyes and saw hunger.

He wants me.

It was enough to spur her further, enticing her mouth to succumb to temptation.

Just a little taste, she promised herself as her lips sealed over his. The result was a long, deep kiss. Her tongue, not satisfied with its promised taste dove deep, then deeper.

The kiss spiraled out of control, because even though he still hadn’t moved to touch her, the power had somehow shifted. She felt a pull from deep within her soul as she was filled with a mind-numbing lust unlike anything she’d experienced before. Clutching his shoulders, her knees weak enough to collapse, she felt the tension building within the man, a screaming need waiting to be vented.

What just happened?

He was close to coming, she could feel it…so close…when a moment before he’d been bored. I did this to him.

The elevator chimed and she froze, knowing the elevator door was going to open. Her mouth pressed to his, tongues mingled, she held her breath. The door opened and after a long pause, closed again. Their ascent continued.

He took control of the kiss, hungrily and greedily demanding more from her mouth. Her knees went weak and her pussy tightened but her mind stayed in control. She pulled her lips away from his and for a long moment held his gaze, feeling the small jerks of his taut abdomen and chest muscles beneath the press of her palm.

She couldn’t help smirking as she leaned into the tender spot behind his right ear. She inhaled deeply, noisily. Lost in his scent and almost forgetting her motive, she sighed.

“You smell incredible too,” she said and she knew her words had pushed him over the edge. He was a goner. The muscles beneath her hand grew rigid and locked in spasm. Autumn held on to him, feeling his fall as his orgasm went on and on, his growl sounding too painful to bear, and his heartbeat drumming out of control beneath her hand.

The elevator chimed, doors opening for a second time.

Autumn managed a wink at the girl still on her knees as she rushed through the barely opened gray doors.

Enough enticement? Buy VOYEUR now, don't put it off. I'm dying to hear what you think of this story!

VOYEUR Release Day! And a SEXY EXCERPT!

Voyeur released at midnight, so I thought it might be fun to have a little excerpt especially since Halloween is also so near and this particular selection is set against the backdrop of a BDSM Halloween Soiree. BUY VOYEUR NOW.

Excerpt starts here:
She’d spent three nervous days anticipating the party and was only slightly irritated that he’d chosen her costume. They matched, though hers was fun wear and his was the real deal. He was wearing black leather from head to toe, every bit the sexy biker. She was wearing fishnets, shiny PVC booty shorts and matching halter, a leather cap, and sexy, four-inch-heeled biker boots. So much exposed skin. She was embarrassed that the curve of her ass cheeks peeked from the edge of the shorts and she’d never shown so much cleavage. But Jonas had announced she was perfect…and she believed him.

As they rode in, Jonas pointed to the spirals of fog rising from the low fields on either side of the drive and it made Autumn think that it was going to be a perfect evening for a Halloween party. She was already so nervous and excited, the potential for eerie drifting fog to intensify the mood made her shiver. She thought it must be her nerves, making the driveway seem never-ending, but just as she thought it, the bike was coasting to a stop and the grand plantation house was rising above them. They parked in the grassy yard to the left of the house that was marked off with small flags to designate parking.

The house was set in the middle of a wide lawn though there were several tall, graceful trees flanking it and a cornfield behind. And then there was the barn…
Autumn tried in vain not to look at the massive, graying structure that was going to host most of the night’s entertainment. Jonas had warned her that once the festivities began, it would be a screaming, writhing free-for-all of sensual decadence. She’d promised to stay close to him. He was there to capture the event on film, she was there to assist him, and they would both get to watch. She shivered in anticipation.

She wondered if it would be different watching when everyone knew you were indeed watching and not doing so sneakily.

Delilah and Kim parked just as they were dismounting.

She was surprised to see that they wore matching plaid miniskirts, white knee socks, and black, high-heeled Mary Janes. Kim wore her long blonde hair in two ponytails and Delilah had scrunched and gelled her hair into spikes.

“Well, aren’t we all just so original?” Autumn asked, rolling her eyes, thinking that if men hadn’t had a hand in their choices, they would have all come as sexy witches. “I hope you feel as ridiculous as I do.”

Jonas laughed and muttered under his breath, “The costumes won’t be on long enough to matter, ladies.”

Autumn gasped, and grabbing a camera case, announced, “I’m his assistant. I’m just here to work.”

She caught Jonas’s smirk and soft chuckle. She knew it was because she’d made such a fuss to attend. What had she been thinking? Thank God, she hadn’t come with a blind date. She sighed with relief that things had worked out the way they had. It was one thing to play naughty games with Jonas and quite another to consider doing anything of the sort with a stranger.

As they walked up to the front porch, Jonas paused to capture the moment. Dusk was deepening, the sun setting behind the low hill behind the two-story, two-hundred year old house, making the four large pillars that supported the covered porch roof seem foreboding. “I never get used to seeing these old places in all their glory.”
“Spooky,” Autumn commented and looked over her shoulder to find Kim and Delilah trailing behind. They seemed as enchanted by the house as Jonas.

“Just wait,” Jonas promised. “The ambience is only part of what makes tonight special.”

She shivered, catching a glimpse of a white body hovering just inside the front door. It could have been a spectral image but as they moved closer she saw that it was a very naked woman, her body painted to resemble a very dead woman. Her lips were painted lavender and painted to appear sewn closed. At least that was what she first thought, but as she drew closer she saw that the dark lines meant to resemble thread were actually thick suture threads.

“Oh!” She passed the wraith by…quickly…thinking as she passed by, what a great illusion. She shivered and reminded herself that there were no real monsters in the manse. It’s just a party.

Four more women identical to the first were standing just inside the foyer and Autumn stared at their mouths. They really are sewn shut. She wanted to reach out and touch their lips but they pointed the guests through the house to a dark parlor lined with red velvet couches and she didn’t stop walking.

End excerpt. Want more? BUY VOYEUR NOW.

On Vacation This Week

I've given my brain permission to be on vaca all week. I refuse to write, think about plots, character development, arcs, revisions or edits.

Why? It sounded like insanity to me as well when Sir Hotness first proposed the idea...but he is home. HOME. Yay. And I demanded no work for him, as in, I am OUT OF THE OFFICE BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE...

So it seems fair that if he is on vaca that I be on vaca at the same time. Right? I may go insane but I will endeavor to obey the rules...

I did stipulate that I must blog. I must. I MUST!
So blogging is it. Quick blogs. Hopefully I will remain entertaining...

Yesterday we scoped out John Bryan State Park...they have 35 foot high rock...totally boring and unacceptable by Sir Hotness standards, but after batting my eyes and convincing him that we must start small he agreed that since it will be a first climb for me that small is probably good...

35 feet.
sigh.
He promises that I will get over my fear of heights...

So, you are probably wondering how long I am going to bore you with this trivial information from my life...where's the sex???? I'll get to it...

It's just rock is all I have on my mind right now. I am totally obsessed...
And I am told that it is possible to have sex, fully harnessed on the side of a cliff...something to look forward to.

You know, my major thought as we hiked three miles today to get to where the bolts were anchored into the ridge were..."What if I get half-way up and have to pee?" I mean this seems like a fairly major problem...

Another problem for me...today and tomorrow we were supposed to be camping...but that was before the weather report announced thirty degrees...Beautiful Girl suggested setting up the tent in the middle of the living room next to the fireplace so that we could still feel like we were on vacation...

I thought it was a marvelous idea...
She is my daughter;)

Sir Hotness was not convinced...so we're going to wait for a warmer dayto actually camp out...maybe Thursday. in the meantime we are checking out Urban Krag in Dayton, maybe do some climbing lessons in a gym setting before he drags me out to a real cliff. He really wants to climb Red River Gorge next summer because that is where he learned to climb with Tom Fyffe (who with "crew" bolted and first ascended a route named Fuzzy Under Cling (named after the bat who was hidden in a hole) ) S.H. claims Tom took him under his wing and taught him to climb ... and he actually got to hang out with Porter Jarrad and drink a few beers with him and his dog Poochie...so the place has good memories for him.

About this pic...it was one of the original taken of Fuzzy Undercling and tacken from an old "Rock and Ice" cover...and Sir Hotness assures me that guys really did climb barefoot on occasion and butt-ass naked for a really good time...No, you will not catch me climbing naked...I value my skin too much and we are talking about rocky cliffs.

Red River Gorge has cliffs about 85-90 ft and is famous for KY's Natural Bridge (which I actually took the tourist trail up to a few years ago...and holy shit that's high up!)

So I'm shaking with fear but soooo excited.
And adrenaline rushes make for great sex so...I'm game.

Maybe tomorrow I can share a sexy excerpt...
But no promises for Wednesday...I'll probably be talking about climbing again because I am TOTALLY OBSESSED!

Hiking Today

The kitten in the pumpkin looks so much like our "Kitty", I had to share.

Today I am hiking with the hubby...got to get back in shape because I think I've finally pestered him enough that he is seriously taking my request to have him teach me to rock climb seriously! I am so psyched that tonight I actually did yoga for the first time in months... As I count down the days to the end of this year, my new years resolution includes:
Losing 30 pounds
Meditating twice a day
Yoga every day
Allowing myself time to play...
Writing...more.

Here's a video of where we are hiking...

Have a great rest of your weekend all!

Sir Hotness is Home!!

I'm not dreaming...he's home...and he'll be home for an entire week.
How do I know that I'm not dreaming?
The house smells like bacon...and coffee...neither of which happens if it is me, home alone. Trust me...I'm not complaining.

Eggs, bacon, pancakes...I'm in heaven. I wish their was a scent feature on blogger so that you could smell what I am smelling right now...mmmmmmm.
And tonight...he's making his famous lasagna. I married this man, in part, because of his lasagna making skills.

I may have lost seventeen pounds since August...but in the next seven days...I'll probably gain it all back if our first morning together is any indication;)

I also had hot tea waiting for me when I opened my eyes. I'm telling you, this man is a keeper. I'm so glad he's mine.

Posting at Femme's Guide Today

I posted last night at the Femme's Guide to Absolutely Everything about how I see myself...Femme, Bisexual...and that those "labels" I have come to own are but a small part of who I am...and how those labels are constrictive...

DominaDoll commented, "Labels like boxes can be confining. As humans we are continually growing and changing. Human sexuality and gender is so complex that it can be a hindrance to be stuck on self-defining labels and not allow for all the nuances/dichotomies of who we are. I also believe you are right that it is others who want to put labels on us and define us, pin us down, so-to-speak."

Exactly what I was trying to say...

Stop by and read the post and please add your two cents! I love to hear what other people are thinking and feeling!

Pornstar Revisions...

I may have mentioned that I am revising Pornstar but I didn't realize how much that would mean to me...because Pornstar started out as a F/F romance...and then on the advice of an editor who I am no longer working with to get the ms into a certain publisher's guidelines (even though they advertise LGBT but really don't mean L just GBT and F/F can only happen as part of a menage but preferably all menages should be MMF...call me frustrated?)

Anyway, to make the long story short, I added a MF romance to make the FF acceptable... that didn't happen ...because bottom line, I couldn't live with myself and the publisher wasn't willing to accept any FF if the M wasn't involved (Can he watch? Ewww...)... so I sent queries off to another editor who I absolutely adore and the revisions she asked for weren't unreasonable (and as usual were right on target)

The problem lies in when I first tore into it...expecting an easy fix...but then I started seeing all the places I'd changed the story, softened the story to try to make it "acceptable" for publisher one...

Sigh...this was not going to be a quick fix...because I want to tell the story that needs to be told.

I jumped ship on Pornstar and started edits on Voyeur...
Now that edits are complete on Voyeur and I am sitting waiting it's release (Oct 28) I am again ready to face Pornstar...and I'm taking my time...letting it percolate as I chop all the subtle sentences that were meant to "soften" the work and make it romance reader friendly...

And I think with the rewrite it is still going to be romantic...I think it is going to be hellatiously romantic...but it is also going to be FF hot... I'm not backing down on what this story needs to say and be. This is a grown-up story with grown-up angst and grown-up need. This story is going to be a little messy and I can't wait to get into the real meat of it.

Pornstar excites me.
Publisher number one wouldn't be able to handle the "real" girl on girl sexiness of Pornstar...
I hope publisher number two can.

And if not, I've got my big girl panties on and I'm going to find a publisher willing to take a chance on a real FF romance because this story deserves to be written...and read.

Emotion, Exhaustion, Life Drama...

I'm writing...actually revising PORNSTAR for an editor in the hopes the publishing house she edits for will accept it...even though it's a FF lovestory. I've been sitting on it...I needed to infuse it with a heavy dose of angst...

And for that I needed to get emotional...
read (miserable)...

I'm emotional, exhausted, and my life has more drama at the moment than a B-class soap opera...oh, yeah, and I'm horny (and alone)...but it all adds up to I'm writing again (huge ripping words revision...cut 6k this afternoon) OUCH. I'm so excited that the keys are clicking that I may stay up all night writing...even though I'm bleary eyed and running on caffeine, 4 hours sleep, adrenaline and beer...

I'm happy.
I love being a writer...

And She's Back...

Whether she is or isn't...I love it when she say's "You say you're crazy...I got your crazy." She's back and sexier than ever singing Womanizer.

Full Moon Tonight...

I'll be doing some ritual stuff tonight but wanted to take the time to say Blessed Full Moon!

Happiness is...Diana Gabaldon

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy...
Diana Gabaldon is hard at work writing the latest installment of her Claire/Jaime series: An Echo In The Bone. She hopes to have it finished by December 30. Can I just say I'm excited and thrilled...elated even...as in this is the best fucking news I've had in ages...

I love Diana Gabaldon. She is a true story teller.
She is the reason Sacred Secrets went from single book to series in a blink of an eye. She taught me that characters do not have to end their story at the last page of a book. They can continue their lives in saga fashion...

She also taught me that if a book is good enough it can span more than 100K words...a lot more.
I love that most.
Wow...

I am officially ending my night elated.

Saturday Eye Candy

Femmes Guide Post Today

Dear Readers,

I'm posting at The Femme'sGuide To Absolutely Everything today...

And as usual, I'm baring my soul...so if you'd rather not know...don't go there.

Hugs
Roxy

Some Days I Wish I Lived in NYC...

Really, I do...
Not that I want to give up my 2K+ living space, or the peace and quiet, or the wide open spaces where I can sit and see acres of nothing but fields and trees and wildlife, or the coyotes that sing me to sleep, or the geese that wake me up flying overhead...

But some days...
I really want to be there...for the art...the creativity...the energy...and obscure little documentaries that seem to open there and never, ever make it here to the middle of nowhere...

A movie is coming...a documentary...
I love documentaries...

The movie is about how Harry Potter has spawned a new life for certain fans, a way to express themselves in ways they may have never expressed themselves before...
I love Harry Potter, I love the fact that fans can see the written world as clearly and as real-ly as the author (and sometimes moreso), I love the way creativity in all it's many forms is expressed...

So really, is there any reason not to see We Are Wizards?


Enjoy your day, friends...
I'm not writing today...not for a few days...so I'm going "out". Trust me, going out is huge...I like to stay "In"...sometimes, a trip to the coffee shop is in order to hang with friends, but to literally go out? Not my fav thing...

I think Indian Food is in order...
And then some thrift stores...
I might even brave the mall...
And a movie...I think a movie s definitely in order...and since I am totally wanting to see Igor, I may have to collect the grandbabies for an outting...

Flash Fiction Contest! What's Happening?

Liz asked, "What's inside the lens of the camera...I see handcuffs and shadows..."
And in answer...



I absolutely love that the girl in the lens is kneeling with handcuffs waiting for her. I can see the scene in my head where the Dom tossed them to her and commanded, "Put them on."

Just gives me shivers...
Sigh.

For fun...if anyone is interested Flash Fiction of 100 words: Poem or scene based on this photo:) Post your stories in the comment section so we can all enjoy them...

Have fun!

Winner of best will receive a free copy of Voyeur as soon as it is available!!

Hugs
Roxy

Voyeur Excerpt

With a jarring lurch the bus pulled away from the curb and she closed her eyes, listening to the hum of tires on asphalt. Slowly, the stress of the day with had accumulated as tight, painful tension knotting her neck and shoulders began to melt away…

“Mm-mm-mm, oh baby,” the girl seated her behind her giggled. “Stop. We’re going to get thrown off the bus.”

Her eyes flew open, but she didn’t dare turn around to look at them; instead, she started listening, wide-eyed, dying to look. She could barely hear their voices but then suddenly he whispered back loud enough for her to hear, “Not if you’ll be quiet.” Muffled whispers came near enough to almost hear and she strained to do just that but the girl’s too soft voice kept her in a state of frustration.

She listened harder, shutting her eyes and receiving the reward of their whispers.

“Come on, Nicole. Bratty isn’t going to cut it today. This was your idea anyway.”

"I’ve changed my mind.” She panted.

“No you haven’t. You’re just scared.” He comforted, then urged, “Pull your panties off!”

“No, baby, I did! I want to safe word out!”

“And that’s exactly why you made me promise that we wouldn’t use a safe word for this trip.” He whispered softly. A soft rustle, murmurs of gentle encouragement, and kissing sounds, followed his smooth cajolement. A.J. imagined him kissing the girl’s forehead, her eyelids, her lips, but no tongue, just a soft, comforting, you-can-trust-me kiss. Definitely no tongue. Then his voice, though still a whisper, changed to a rough command as he demanded, “Now do what I tell you to do, slut! Get those panties off!”

A.J.’s eyes flew back open. Uh-uh, no way, not on my watch, Sucker. She started to stand up, ready to throw Mr. Sleaze-ball off the bus and rescue the cute little blonde behind her when she heard the girl giggle again. “Oh baby, you know I can’t say no when you talk to me like that. Call me a slut again!”

“I’m not calling you anything, you nasty little whore, not until you obey me!”

The girl laughed harder, making A.J.’s jaw drop open at the turn of events. Turning her head, she caught sight of a twenty-something scrunched into the seat to her left. He motioned with his pointer finger pressed to his lips to stay quiet and pointed to a small video recorder that was trained on the action behind them. He wasn’t hiding the fact that he was watching…no, actually filming the couple behind her and did so absolutely openly.

Pressing a finger to his lips he signaled for her to be quiet, then mouthed, “I’m part of the scene! Don’t screw this up for them!”

Caught listening, she tried to make herself smaller. A.J. slumped lower in her seat, her face scrunched so painfully into an oh-shit-now-what expression that she was actually aware of it. She really tried to not listen, but that was impossible. The two people behind her were having sex…and yes, they were quiet about it—but she could still hear them! Her eyes darted to the man beside her, his camera focused on the couple, but his eyes trained on her.

My Cover Art Is Here!

Yay! My cover art for Voyeur is here! I'm so excited:)
The cover artist is Croco Designs.

I don't have a release date from Loose-Id...but soon. Very, very soon. Come back tomorrow for a hot, steamy excerpt!

Here's the unofficial blurb:
Cynical-before-her-time corporate attorney A.J. Blessings has condemned herself to a life of watching instead of living. When she attends a steamy costume ball, she is kissed by a masked musician, Jonas, and sets off a series of events that will change her life forever.

Taking the bus home from work, she witnesses a couple having sex…and a third filming the exchange. She is intrigued, she is aroused. She is shocked to discover the videographer is her masked kisser and quite suddenly she has perfect companion for a sordid All Hallows BDSM Bash.

Joined by a mysterious friend, Michael, they set off on a journey that leads them across the countryside on a peeping-tom romp through hay-stacked barns, farmer's daughter's boudoirs and the kind of naughty games that can only be played in the countryside. It will take the efforts of both men to help her evolve from shy voyeur to daring exhibitionist.

But the greater journey lies in the secrets the men are keeping from her. Their play is dark and dangerous, and for one sadism isn’t a game at all…it’s an illness.

You Are Invited...To A Giggle Party

I was pleased and excited to get invited to a party...any kind of party...for the fact that my evenings have been spent solo while Sir Hotness has been out of town. The invitation read:

In an Age-Old Tradition

You are cordially invited to

The Gigglefest

A social Occasion for Special Ladies

to share Sinful Secrets and Decadent Desserts

By Invitation Only

No Men Allowed (Except Cabana Boyz)

Bring a decadent snack to share and singles($)for games

I'm not sure what I expected but I went prepared with a dozen shrimp and a bottle of Riesling. The forty plus women between the ages of 19 and 66 were as clueless as I since none of us had been to a Gigglefest before...

Of course, with alcohol flowing...decadent snacks...cute cabana boyz in little clothing catering to our every need...there was a lot of giggling going on...

You haven't lived until you've been fed snacks by cute boys (mmm) and waited on hand and foot and massaged...

And then Security showed up and asked us to "tone it down because management had had a complaint"... but then ... the music started and the Security Guard's uniform started coming off :-)

And then the handcuffs came out...

Mmmm...I think every Thursday night should be a Gigglefest...
The only downfall was that it was a Thursday night...and no sleeping in after so much alcohol...
Oy vey...There are parts of the night vaguely blurry...

I do remember a very cute girl in my lap for part of the evening who bestowed very sweet kisses...and a very exotic dirty dance with the lovely woman who asked me to have her baby a few years ago...and of course the stripper...who was VeRRRRRRa NiCe!

I may have to host a Gigglefest of my own this winter to warm up a cold Ohio evening...but I think I'll have it on a Saturday...just so I can sleep in on Sunday LOL

The Faithful...

On Susan's suggestion, I am looking for The Faithful by Carla Dickens. I was intrigued when I found out that it is a novel set against the backdrop of the Democratic primary campaign inside the Obama camp (with fictional staffers;)

Here's the excerpt that was also highlighted on Susan's Blog, Sexy Prime:

A tiny excerpt, in the voice of Thomas, the amusing gay narrator, who is here eavesdropping on the action behind closed campaign office doors:

Behind one door, I heard Caroline’s throaty gurgle and the muffled sounds of Reggie, face surely in her pussy. (Who says black men don’t go down?) Pink tongue on pink flesh.

Their rule is: No intercourse in public places. And behind another door, Chloe’s louder moans, Evan’s heavy groans that made me imagine I could feel his balls slapping against my ass - and the sound of the desk thumping rhythmically beneath the force of their banging. I guessed Chloe was bent over the desk with Evan entering from behind.

My dick grew hard at the thought of his member, thick and hard, pulling out, thrusting in, glistening, gleaming like polished marble.

“Yes!” Chloe screamed.

So, now the search is on...Amazon seems fastest and easiest with small children in the house...

Hmmm...

If you read it before I get my copy, let me know what you think...

Of course I will definitely let you know what I think:)

Happy LGBT History Month!

There's a common link in all of my books to date: LGBT...and really, not G as in cowboys or vampires, but G as in believable men in love with each other. The same would go for the L (this isn't a man's fantasy clinch)...the B? I write like everyone is B...I can't help it. I write what I know. And the T? If you haven't met Jackie the MtoF diva goddess extraordinaire from the Chronicles of Surrender series...you should meet her. Soon. I love Jackie more than any of my other characters...shh...please, don't tell the others!

It seems a natural thing to look backward this month...

It's October.

I know that doesn't mean a thing to some, but for me it is the last month of the year, a time of reflection and planning, looking backward and forward...the perfect month to also celebrate LGBT History...

So today I posted at the Femmes Guide to Absolutely Everything...a slight rant, a small look backward, a small look forward, and gratitude...

Cleaning, Babysitting...and Writing???

I woke up again this am at six...
It's still dark at six.
There is no reason to be awake so early...none...growl...and No! I am not a morning person, thank you...

So, I've been awake...not writing...thinking about writing though...and my ideas aren't going where I want them to go...THIS AIN"T NO HARLEQUIN,RIGHT?...so why is it sounding...eh, like a Harlequin? I mean, seriously...

I think I need a serious flogging...
note I said serious, not mamby pamby...
Sigh...

Sir Hotness being on the road is killing me...I should be writing up a storm...I have time, energy...I just don't have the emotion and withought that...HARLEQUIN...

I just got home from buying cleaning supplies...everything...ammonia, bleach, floor clean, tub and tile cleaner, stainless steel polish, windex...we probably have half of it already here...
Who knows? I don't know...
I must really miss SH...usually he cleans...
I am seriously considering cleaning...

Today and Tomorrow, I have grandbabies...hopefully we can do some cool crafts...I'm all about babies creating out of cardboard and glue...paint and feathers...shiny things...
Yay...should be a fun couple of days.

If I was super brave, we might attempt cookies...
I don't know that I'm that brave.
We'll see.

Hoping my brain will crank out a fab idea while I'm cleaning and babysitting because I need a fab idea...edgy, intelligent...something to counteract my lame-i-tis...

Some edge play might snap me out of it...
SH isn't huge on edge play even when he is home...he's too smart...he knows all of the physiological damage potential...so "choking out" never really means without air...
I'm okay with that...he loves me...he values my life and respects how fragile life can be...

I've never been loved that much...

**As an update on the stress in my life that led to the nervous tic...
Beautiful Girl saw a Sports Medicine MD with the intention of getting a release to play...and thankfully he said, "No way." Which is a huge relief to me because she is still symptomatic ...headaches, nausea, slow reaction times to conversation and physical response...so I really didn't want her on the field...
Her official diagnosis is Traumatic Brain Injury...I'm not sure if that is a grade up or down from Post Concussive Syndrome but as long as it keeps her off the field.
She was disappointed (actually mad) until the doctor told her that one more serious bump to her head and someone (me) is going to be sending flowers to her funeral...
He got her attention...for now.

Sir Hotness is in Houston this week, Connecticut the week after that...
Then home for three days...Yay...and then I have no idea where he goes...I just know he does.
Looking forward to vaca week at end of October...

Coping Mechanisms...

Have any idea what coping mechanisms really are?

Basically, it's what we do subconsciously to deal with stress... here's a long definition... but the bottom line it is behavior that we do (usually without realizing) to get through to the moment when we can breath again after a stretch of extreme stress.

I know I am a survivor. I've had major conversations with men and women who went to school to identify what a person should or should not be worried about when it comes to mental illness. I wish I could blame insanity for some of my decisions in this lifetime but I couldn't even get a diagnosis of depression when I tried once...just a pat on the back and congratulations for having good instincts of how to deal with the stress I was under... ie ...I have great coping mechanisms to survive intense/insane/unusual/life threatening situations...

I should, I've had my share of "situations"...

But having hit a certain level of comfort...I'm in love, I'm happy, I'm not worried about losing the roof over my head or having enough food for my kids, my writing career is finally going somewhere...it didn't even dawn on me that I've been "COPING"...

Really....

Aside from the nervous tic, I'm feeling pretty good about who I am, who I want to be, and where I want my life to take me...

So, why did it dawn on me at 5:45am this morning that I am utilizing a whole bunch of coping mechanisms? Compartmentalization and Dissociation just to name a few...

So, between 5:45am and 7:45am when I actually forced myself out from under the covers, I thought a lot about what I'm doing that I don't like and why...then I came up with a plan to stop coping with my life and start embracing my life...tic causing insanity and all.

This afternoon I laid down in the grass and soaked in some sunshine, Jazzi joined me...two hours later I didn't even berate myself for not writing...

This evening a woman called for a tarot reading and I could tell by the desperation in her voice that she needed a voice of reason...I know, she called me?...I gave her information she needed to make sane, rational decisions...I didn't charge her a single cent...and two hours of readings later...I felt whole again...

In my new life...married, not working, writing full time...I'd forgotten what helped me stay sane through the hard (leaner) times and remembered just in time what could keep me sane in the here and now: tarot, Reiki, prayer, ritual, meditation, and yoga complete me...and somewhere along the way, I stopped giving myself an adequate amount of "me" time. Add in all of the drama of the last few weeks and it's affected me...mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I'm much more happy and relaxed tonight just because I took enough time this morning to figure out that the coping mechanisms I was subconsciously relying on to get me through the moments between caffeine overload and adrenaline rush weren't working.
* * * * * *
Funny story from mid day...
I had to run to town for a minute (between sunsoaking and tarot call)...
I left all of my computer screens up, as I usually do...
Beautiful Girl called me on my cell and as soon as I answered, "Hello?" She screeched, "You're buying a vibrator?"
As a matter of fact, I was considering it, but since my youngest daughter has exhibited little psychic ability, I wasn't sure how she knew that...
I played it cool and asked, "What compelled you to ask that?"
"I have proof!" She said gleefully, "You left the website open to the one you have picked out."
It took me a minute to remember back to the morning (pre-sun) and yes, as a matter of fact I was looking at vibrators, but I was only comparing functions...for writing research...honest. Which is exactly what I told her adding, "It's all there. Page one, chapter one. Read it."
From the sounds she made, you would have thought I asked her to swallow a live goldfish...or two. Reading Mom's bdsm porn is obviously not an option...lol.

Belated Sunday Funnies...Now, on Monday...

You know, I've been hearing an awful lot about Audacia Ray's Craiglist ad...wherein she is attempting to sell a slightly used "Sex Toy"... okay, it's a fucking machine... literally...

She has also made a short film about the experience which honestly tonight I tried to download, but alas, it is no longer downloadable...

However, the trailer qualifies for today's SF and is embedded here:

Sex Free Orgasm?

Hmmm...
I was reading a review by Sadie Faye about a new book on the shelves: The Orgasm Loop (by Susan Crain Bakos) which claims to teach "the no-fail technique for reaching orgasm during sex."

Since approximately 35% of all women do not reliably orgasm during sex and 15% of women do not orgasm ever...it would seem every woman would want to read this book. Me? Mild curiosity peeked (meaning I almost skipped the book review.) It was a really SLOWWW day...so I read the review.

You can read the entire review here.
Quotes from the book review:

"First, the loop itself, which is a series of three pretty simple steps."

"Step one: Relax and focus on your "desire image," something that gets you super turned-on. The image can be anything, even if it's abstract, except your lover -- according to Bakos, you need to be totally relaxed and into yourself, and we all know our lovers don't always make us feel that way."

"Step two: When you're sufficiently turned on, imagine all your desire as a concentrated ball of energy right below your belly button, and then mentally move it into your vagina (from within, no fingers yet). Then imagine a coil of lust at the base of your spine and move it through your pelvis to your genitals. Yeah, it sounds hokey, but as I was moving the ball and the coil I actually felt heat in my lady parts, and they definitely became more sensitive."

"The last part of the technique is where the loop comes in: Breathe in and out while you do your kegels (those are where you squeeze your PC, the same muscle that stops the flow of urine). Clench as you breathe in, relax as you breathe out. By staying focused on your image, getting all the energy in the right place, and keeping this rhythmic breathing and flexing, most women apparently will come. I did -- and honestly, I couldn't believe it.

Not only did I orgasm, but the arousal felt different from most of my masturbation. I was aware of my whole body instead of just my genitals, and I felt like I had generated the desire from within instead of getting turned on from an outside source like a vibrator or porn."

Imagine that...an orgasm caused mentally...hmmm...now I am intrigued. I'm not sure if the book reviewers three step cliff notes are enough...I'll give it a try. I may even have to buy the book...

Some Days You Wake Up Needing...Spanked

I woke up dreaming about a past spanking...mmmmmm...yes it was a very erotic spanking from the man long ago who awakened such dark desires that I could probably blame my entire BDSM erotica career on him...

As a result of waking to that dream I have done nothing but think of spanking all day...

I know what brought on the dream; I'm reading Being A Girl by Chloe Thurlow and it has quite a bit of spanking in it...so my mind took a bit of a fieldtrip into the past and now...spanking, spanking, spanking...it's all I can think about.

Do you ever have one of those days?

Is there ever a good way to ask you partner to just "Spank Me?" ... it could go so well, or it could go so badly...for inspiration I am embedding the Top Ten Spanking Scenes from Modern Media...

Enjoy and I hope you have a Spanking Good Saturday;)

Anyone Watch Lipstick Jungle?

Just now getting around to blogging about this...
Did anyone see Wednesday night's episode of Lipstick Jungle?

Well, I did...I love LJ...and especially Niko and Kirby's affair(Kim Raver/Robert Buckley)...older woman, younger man...yum yum

View the episode here if you missed it...

The topic that pivoted my mind was G-shot...
Maybe you've heard, maybe you haven't, but there's a new procedure that was developed in the UK and finally made it to the US shores (if you are in a large enough city at any rate.)

What is a G-shot? Collagen shot into the G-spot of course, otherwise known as G-spot augmentation. The basic concept is that the injected collagen will "swell" the sight, exerting constant pressure on the G-spot and consequentially producing an almost constant state of arousal increased with activity (supposedly riding in a car, doing yoga and any number of other activities.)

And sex post G-spot augmentation?
Everything I've read touts that it is amazing, amazing, A-fucking-amazing...

Just makes you want to go and get the G-shot doesn't it?
well, I'm pouting because Sir Hotness fairly forbade me from getting the shot. He said he'd like to live to see fifty and I'm horny enough without the help...

Maybe I should see that as a complement...
Sigh...
I still feel like I'm really missing out on something!

What I'm Working On Today...

Whew, now that I have power...it took a week to get caught up on the four days of online life I'd missed, making me wonder how I ever get it all done during a normal day and still have time to write...

Final edits are complete on the ms working title: Living Vicariously: now titled: Voyeur (cause my editor rocks)...and awaiting line reader comments...

I've seen the cover art draft...thrilled...

So what can I do today?
Hmmm...
Oh yeah...I guess I should get back to writing. So my obvious thought is to go back to the WIP I was working on prepower outage (LOVERS)...but I'm kind of thinking I should let that one jell in my head a bit longer...

I could work on the revision of WIP PORNSTAR...
I could work on one of the three WIP I have sitting on a backburner: PRIME, PRODIGAL, JOURNEY...

I think when you get behind target dates because of nasty unexpected events (like a hurricane in Ohio) it just seems mind numbing trying to figure out how to get back on target...

I think I'm going to dwell on some eyecandy for motivation...

Femme's Guide Topic...

Yesterday I posted over at the Femme's Guide to Absolutley Everything on the topic of Female Ejaculation and I was slightly surprised that there were no comments...

Is it becauuse the subject is too taboo? Too boring?

Personally, I find it slightly embarressing...still...because it happens and I'm always left laying in the puddle because I always forget to bring a towel to bed. You would think that I would remember.

Sigh...

Can I blame that one on short term memory loss?
Or maybe because "in the moment" my mind isn't actually on the "after"...

Any thoughts on Female Ejaculation? Anyone?
You can comment here, obviously...and I would love that...but I'd also like you to check out the post there...and comment there...just so I'll know that someone other than me read the post...

http://femmesguide.com/archives/how-to-guide-for-female-ejaculation/

Hugs to you for stopping by!!!!

Can I Have Another Choice Please?

I really want a third party...
and here's why, I don't like either of the choices I have now.

Just got around to reading this email from the Defenders of Wildlife:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEAugust 29, 2008
Shocking Choice by John McCain

WASHINGTON-- Senator John McCain just announced his choice for running mate: Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. To follow is a statement by Rodger Schlickeisen, president of Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund.“Senator McCain’s choice for a running mate is beyond belief. By choosing Sarah Palin, McCain has clearly made a decision to continue the Bush legacy of destructive environmental policies.“Sarah Palin, whose husband works for BP (formerly British Petroleum), has repeatedly put special interests first when it comes to the environment. In her scant two years as governor, she has lobbied aggressively to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling, pushed for more drilling off of Alaska’s coasts, and put special interests above science. Ms. Palin has made it clear through her actions that she is unwilling to do even as much as the Bush administration to address the impacts of global warming. Her most recent effort has been to sue the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to remove the polar bear from the endangered species list, putting Big Oil before sound science. As unbelievable as this may sound, this actually puts her to the right of the Bush administration. “This is Senator McCain’s first significant choice in building his executive team and it’s a bad one. It has to raise serious doubts in the minds of voters about John McCain’s commitment to conservation, to addressing the impacts of global warming and to ensuring our country ends its dependency on oil.”
###
The Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund (www.defendersactionfund.org) provides a powerful voice in Washington to Americans who value our conservation heritage. Through grassroots lobbying, issue advocacy and political campaigns, the Action Fund champions those laws and lawmakers that protect wildlife and wild places while working against those that do them harm.

Blogging at Sexpressions

I am posting at Liquid Silver Books Blog Sexpressions today, so please stop over to discover why I have developed a nervous twitch this week.

My Femme's Guide Post was delayed last week due to the Ohio Power Outage...

And Mabon Blessings!

Sexy?

I love this picture...it just screams fun. So, I'm looking for reader comments.
Sexy, not sexy?
Please tell me your thoughts!

I actually have a very valid reason for asking...
I'm in the middle of a WIP that has breath play and I for one have always been a big fan of Asphyxiaphilia (*please note: asphyxiation (lack of air) is absolutely edge play and should never go as far as loss of consciousness.)

So, this WIP rocks...IMHO.

Dying to post an excerpt....
Question is: Is anyone willing to beg for an excerpt?
Mwahhahahahaha

Have a great weekend!
Hugs
Roxy

Surprise Me...Titillate Me...

This post has been delayed by Hurricane Ike...it seems forever ago that I raced to the bookstore to buy Playing...

Here's my thoughts:
I hate predictability, so imagine my surprise (and disappointment) when I read, "We're going to count the last five together." (spanks) or the line, "Just because I want to..."

Yay...
Another introduction To BDSM 101

The novel, "Playing" by Melanie Abrams lacked in BDSM originality; however, that said...the book is going on my bookshelf because she pushed all the right buttons when she dug into the psych of the heroine...

I would have really loved the book if she would have also delved into the psych of the hero...which was pretty much presented as "I'm a sadist, get over it...and if it makes you feel better see my sadism as your painful sacred path to enlightenment" (my paraphrase).

Clearly, the novel was tight enough to earn mass-marketing...
Clearly, all of my fears about showcasing children in novels has been ridiculous when this novel crosses all boundaries and puts the heroine (in my mind) who she be immediately sterilized so as not to become a child-abuser...

As a side note the author is Caucasian, her husband Indian...the heroine is Caucasian, the hero Indian...making me wonder if this was the only story in Melanie Abrams head...or if she has more to offer.

As much as I love finding new authors willing and able to negotiate BDSM erotica contracts, I hate the disappointment of losing them. Remember Laura Reese' short lived fame...Topping From Below and Panic Snap rate among my all time fav reads...and yet she has flown the coop as a fiction author. Reportedly now that she is pursuing a "real career" her writing is an embarrassment. Pity.

Fairy Tales...

A lovely friend sent me this...not sure if it was before, during, or after Hurricane Ike...but I appreciated the laugh when I finally received it! And after surviving the storm and resulting power outage without the skills and brawn of a man in residence...

I chuckled...

Any TrueBlood Followers Here?

Okay, I'm in lust...
Trueblood is doing it for me for this fall's HBO line-up

Have no idea what I'm talking about?
Trailer for Episode 1

I know where I'm going to be sitting every Sunday night at 9pm...
Ahhh...I hope there's lots of biting:)

And it's a more grown-up vampire lovestory than Twilight...
Now don't get me wrong... I love Stephenie Meyers series and am anticipating the movie premier Nov 21 but to have grown-ups kissing instead of children and all manners of sexiness going on (it is HBO) ... I'm absolutely giddy.

There Is No Sufficient Title For This Post...

It's roughly quarter til twelve...and the best way to start this post is that I've been up since seven a.m. (cursed barking dogs...lovable because their mine...but some days) on top of three hours of sleep because I thought it would be a good idea to have some Internet playtime last night...which I enjoyed and really needed... even though I knew today needs to be a productive writing day...

Okay, so dogs wake me up an hour before the alarm...I'll survive.

If you really know me...and know how much of a morning person I'm really not...you can appreciate the sarcasm in that statement.

It's raining, great...

It is great, really, we need the rain...what is not great is that one dog is now condemned to the garage most of the day (don't worry, he's on a fairly long lead he'll have lots of outdoors roll in the mud time before I drag him back in for the bubblebath that will make him house friendly again...the other dog, cute puppy girl in heat is condemned to spend the day at my feet and not worshipping the ground he walks on...(usually, he worships ...but today she thinks it's the end of the world because they can't play.)

So he's outside barking...

And she's inside whining...

I'm really not getting any writing done.

Maybe I should take her for a walk? Sounds like fun...yes, it's raining...but it's only a drizzle, maybe a little heavier than a drizzle but I'm not going to melt, ya know...

I put her on the lead (all I need is an escaped dog in heat) and we go out the back door. The smell of death is immediate. I know ewww welcome to my life...

So I'm ready to kill the cat that has probably returned from a night out prowling for dinner (but honestly I really didn't believe it was a fresh kill or kitty prey size) too much stink...

And Jazzi girl is all over it...

She's pulling and jerking and whining and really just bound and determined to find the dead thing...and all I can think is I hope the coyotes didn't take down the deer I saw limping around a few days ago...

Curiosity peeked, we tromp out into the prairie behind the house in search of death...

It's still early by the way...still lots of time to write...later...

We don't find the dead thing and I think we're both a little disappointed but by now we are both fairly soaked through...it was slightly harder than a drizzle at some points...

And I look down...

And my beautiful girl is covered from head to toe with burrs...

I look down at me...

You got it...covered.

So now, I get to de-burr the wet dog(did I mention mud covered too?) before we can even go in the house...easy for me, I just strip at the back door...

So how long does it take to de-burr a wet, not impressed long haired pooch? I'll just say the morning is gone...

And after all of that Petey is still barking, Jazzi is still whining...there is something bigger than a dead bunny somewhere in the back field...and I haven't written a single word on the ms that still isn't complete and should have been wrapped up two weeks ago...

Also...since it is painfully obvious that I am not writing...I found Lady Talks A Lot, a blogger who asked the question, "Would you have sex for a million dollars?"

OMG...how many arguments have I had over this very question (especially when the two movies that dared ask this question in the eighties were hot topic material.) If you so desire...you can go there to see my answer in the comment section...but I beg, if you comment there...please come back and share your thought here as well...

I am always so amazed at how many people get righteously offended by the question...

I guess my POV is highly affected by life experience and then there the life experiences of others who really put a different spin on trading sex for money

Declare Yourself...

*photo by Mark Liddel for Declare Yourself

I love the new Jessica Alba Ad which was so BDSM inspired that I had to do a double take to see just who was wrapped up and in essence says, "Only you can Silence yourself."

I love the fact that our media not only exploits sex but is also now racing to more and more extreme and kinkier sex for marketing because it means that kink is going mainstream and if kink goes mainstream then it is only time before kinky erotica goes mainstream...

Which is evidenced by the release of "Playing" which I found, read, didn't fall madly in love with but became an avid fan of the author and will look for hopefully similar releases in the future. Seriously her writing is amazing in the fact that it explores the psychological aspects of BDSM (which if you've read my writing, you know I am all about)

Anyway, I digressed...

Declare Yourself is meant a place to help get people registered to vote, not a place to come out of the kinky closet. Which I am all about... (Yes, come out of the kinky closet, but also get registered...)

It really is as easy as going to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles...County Office...or online at either DY or Rock the Vote.

We really can change the country but we have to have our voices heard.

Personally, I wish there was a third candidate...but I'm stuck with that horrible task of choosing the lesser of two evils just as everyone else is in this country this round...

Funny NPR story today though...interviewer went to a supermarket parking lot in a (London?suburb) and interviewed the locals about our US choices and hearing my thoughts with a British accent was bizarre and they really weren't worried about offending anyone so they just stated what they perceive...it was a beautiful laugh out loud moment.

Goddess, I want to go to the U.K. ... SOON ... like now would be good. I really need a pint in a country pub where no one knows my name...

I think I'm going on a pub hunt...

I know we have The Pub up the road but it's a cute, shiny franchise and I'm really more in the mood for dark and moody...

Hmmm..they do have their sampler though...

Anyone for a Speckled Hen?

Seven Years...

I will always hold in my mind the vision of the south tower's first hit...and its replay over and over on CNN and every other television channel on the morning of 9/11 seven years ago as our nation sat in stunned silence.

Incense and candles are burning on my alter and aside from this note wishing the survivors, our soldiers, and our nation peace, healing, and protection...the blog will be silent today in memory.

Own Your Sexuality

Soon after I started dating Sir Hotness...days...he posted this picture on his Myspace page to remind him of what my soul looked like. I think after I'd gotten over the shock that he could see me so clearly, I appreciated him even more...as a friend, as a lover, but also as that ellusive one my soul had sought for centuries.

He's told me more than once that it is because I am who I am, unwilling to wear masks, unwilling to conform to anyone's idea of who they think I should be that attracted him to me in the first place. Part of what makes me...me...is that I own my sexuality.

I found this lovely You Tube Video and I agree with most of it...but she only includes three types of orgasms vaginal, clitoral, and g-spot(and a forth is you count brain orgasms). I feel she neglected to mention anal orgasms...they happen.

She feels surprised that a woman in her fifties may have never experienced an orgasm before...again it happens. Shame about my body was instilled in my mind from an early age. My mother didn't want to address the fact that I even had breasts let alone take me to the store to actually buy a bra (how embarrassing for her.) And heaven forbid if I should have an itch "down there" because you don't touch that...

So if other womens mothers were like mine, yeah, I totally get how they were never brave enough to explore their bodies. Thank goddess, I'm a rebel, I've been touching "down there" since I was about six...

Did you grow up thinking that good girls are quiet and submissive?
Good girls don't enjoy sex?

So many contradictions. Is it any wonder I spent my youth trying so hard to be a boy?
Boys always got to have more fun and right up until the time I couldn't hide the fact that I had breasts...I was right out their amongst them...riding bikes, climbing trees, rummaging through dumpsters for treasure, fighting (oh, how many boys did I make cry because I could throw a solid punch...lol), playing war (I had to be the POW because everyone knows that the POW gets tied up!) and cops/robbers, cowboys/Indians (I always wanted to be the robber and the Indian, what does that say about my psych?) Damn it, boys had more fun...

And then I reached puberty and I found out that boys really got to have more fun.
Our world is a contradiction of gender...

Men can masturbate.
Men can have multiple partners.
Men become men when they have sex for the first time and are ofter encouraged to do so at a very early age...

The same woman who accepts that her boyfriend, lover, husband is sleeping around because he just has a lot of testosterone will be the first to call the woman he's sleeping around with A WHORE. A SLUT...

I won't own either of those labels, but I will own my sexuality.

I'll admit it...I've always hidden the fact that I masturbate. Hell, I masturbate daily, one of my safety mechanisms that kept me from being too promiscuous...And thank goddess I'm through my PRIME because all I wanted to do was masturbate. From age34-37 I could have sex for hours and still hide in the bathroom masturbating. My daily masturbation jumped from once or twice a day to ten or twelve times a day. A single lover can't keep up with that kind of need. Is it any wonder that mid-thirty a woman starts finding early-twenty males too much of a temptation to refuse?

The chemistry matches...just my theory and if you haven't hit your prime yet...you have no idea...

And since I've lived to tell, I have a WIP that is about that very subject matter...a woman's prime. More details as I work it out!

So all I'm saying is own your sexuality...your darkness and your light.

FYI: I posted at The Femme's Guide.

Sunday Funnies...On Wednesday

I'm too impatient to wait for Sunday to share
When the Kama Sutra and Vagina Meet



Performed by Rasika Mathur, comedian and co-star of MTV’s Wild ‘N Out

I'm Fine, Really

Can we take a moment to talk about prayer? I know, not the general Flog Blog Topic you're used to...

But give me a chance before you jump ship and go to the next blog.

In addition to the many components of self that make up the identity of Me, being a Reiki Master is just one on the list; however, it is also part of the very essence of who I am, and so when someone tells me the details of an ordeal or illness that they are experiencing, I'll usually say, "I'll light a candle for you." Many times what they perceive in their minds (if they don't know me) is that I am Catholic or whatever other religion that jumps into their head...yeah, I'm not. I'm actually fairly anti-religious in the part that man has corrupted spirituality into a tool of fear and power. I'm also not praying for them.

When I am lighting a candle for someone, I am doing my best to direct all of the healing energy of the Universe toward a pinpointed problem in the hope that the person will find peace within (not necessarily a cure, although that too is possible if that is their internal desire.) It's all about what is best for them, there situation, there life's journey.

So in essence this is my resume for stating that I understand the power of intention.

Intentions directs energy, energy in motion causes change. JMHO.

I really get distressed when people start throwing around the P-word. As in I'll pray for you. How do you nicely tell a person, "Please don't. I'm fine. Really," and not offend them?

Some of you may already see where this is going, some of you will still be scratching your heads in the morning even after I say that I have been trying really hard to like and admire Sarah Palin. First, potentially, she could be our very first female vice-president. That's admirable without putting any political beliefs or agendas on the table. She's also a mother, trying her best to raise a family that is inundated with challenges, a pregnant unwed teenage daughter and an infant with Down's Syndrome. She's young, forty-four, and already achieved remarkable career accolades. So yes, I admire her without a doubt.

I still want to like her.

Today, the headlines raced to grab our attention with "Sarah Palin's Church Prays Away The Gay" because the church she has attended since 2002, Wasilla Bible Church, is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays to heterosexuals through the power of prayer. MSNBC had this article.

I guess I've waited all day for a single word from the McCain/Palin camp denouncing any involvement or support for such a conference by Sarah Palin. I mean, this is the new era of the Republican Party, right? A little less conservative?

Maybe not.

I'm sorry, but I am so offended I cannot even think straight. It is like my brain is skipping as irritatingly as a scratched record (yes, I am from the generation that still had vinyl records.) I've tried to organize my thoughts but get only so far as "how dare they."

But then my brain is already pacing years ahead to the place where we have celebrated a woman as vice-president solely because she is female but neglected to study her politics. The vision of the US prior to Stonewall, before Roe vs Wade, pre-legalized marriage in CA, and pre-equality in benefits for life-partners keeps rolling through my head and it makes me physically ill.

Can we please get just a little separation of church and state? Just a little?
In the meantime, if you feel a need to pray for me..."Please, don't. I'm fine. Really."

Femmes Guide

I am now an author over at The Femmes Guide To Absolutely Everything so if you are a Femme, or a Boi or a Dyke who loves Femmes, stop by and say Hi at my inaugral post on Being Bisexual

I'll be posting once a week so add us to your subscriptions too!

Hugs

Roxy

For The Love Of Forums...

I belong to more than a few forums and on occasion I ask a question...
To make a long story short, I asked a question...a fairly simple 'yes' or 'no, not necessary' answerable question...

I was not expecting someone to reply with a paragraph that almost said without saying, "Why would you ask a stupid question like that?" and not only that but also, "This is why that question was so stupid."

I forced my typing fingers into a tight little fist to keep from saying what one of my college professors spouted daily oh so many years ago...

"There are no stupid questions just stupid answers."
Need I say he was a philosophy/religion professor?

So now I'm ranting here instead of there...is there any wonder I hate forums?

Has Anyone Read This Book?

The reason I ask is because "Playing" by Melanie Abrams is being tauted as Literary Fiction...but when I read the blurb and saw the cover...I saw erotica in disguise. Or maybe it's just a marketing ploy to use sex once again to sell...

Why do I care?
Oh, so, many, reasons.

First, my current WIP which was slated for an e-publisher is finished and ready to submit, but I just don't feel right submitting it...not yet...because it isn't exactly erotica. It isn't exactly chick-lit either. I had someone look at it, a professional in the publishing industry, though not an agent or an editor...

And they said, "This is ALMOST literary erotica." They immediately said, "But it's rough, you are going to have to put a lot of work into tightening it up for mainstream...but if you can...a mainstream big house can pick it up as Literary Fiction."

Of course I wanted to know the difference between Literary Fiction and Literary Erotica...

After a chuckle, the response was, "Not a damn thing."

So tonight, while perusing what's new, I find "Playing" ... looks like erotica, tauted as literary fiction ... but how does it read? Scream. I will have no chance to find it until Monday...maybe Tuesday. So, anyone?

Is this an example of Literary Erotica marketed as Literary Fiction?
I need to know...

Inaugral Post At The Femme's Guide...

Woot! Today is the inaugural posting to the blog: The Femme's Guide To Absolutely Everything!

And I am so excited!

So if you get a chance, read my post there...and comment...cause I want to hear from you!!!

Hugs

Roxy