Sadie Hawkins Day...A History Lesson

It's February 29th! We have an extra day! I say "Let's Play!" I think it should be a work-free day ... at the very least a sleep until noon day ... and then to start it off right ... some afternoon delight! Want to know more about this special day?

Read on...

History of Leap Year:
The Romans originally had a 355-day calendar. To keep up with the seasons, an extra 22 or 23-day month was inserted every second year, or so. They were not consistent in adding this month and by Julius Caesar’s time, the seasons no longer occurred at the same calendar periods as in the past. To correct this, Caesar eliminated the extra month and added one or two extra days to the end of various months. Thus extending the calendar to 365 days. He also intended an extra calendar day every fourth year (following the 28th day of Februarius). However, after Caesar’s death in 44 B.C., the calendars were written with an extra day every 3 years instead of every 4 until corrected in 8 A.D. So again, the calendar drifted away from the seasons.

By 1582, Pope Gregory XIII recognized that Easter would eventually become closer and closer to Christmas. The calendar was reformed so that a leap day would occur in any year that is divisible by 4 but not divisible by 100 except when the year is divisible by 400. Thus 1600 and 2000, although century marks, have a Leap Day.

We use the Gregorian calendar to this day. Our year of 365.2425 days, is only off from our solar year by .00031, which amounts to only one day’s error after 4,000 years.

So, you are asking, how did February 29th come to be known as Sadie Hawkins Day? Well, I'll tell you...

Rules of courtship were more strict in years past. Women who were hoping to marry their beaus had to wait for a proposal; they were not allowed to pop the question themselves... except on one day, every four years. You guessed it, on Feb 29!

Sadie Hawkins Day, developed out of the popular cartoon strip "Li' Abner" by Al Capp. In her article in the Baltimore Sun on Feb 29, 1992, writer Sandra Crockett writes- "a female character named 'Sadie Hawkins' who lived in the fictional town Dogpatch was having a tough time getting a man to propose to her. Her father, the mayor of said fictional town, declared one day, 'Sadie Hawkin's' day. The unmarried women in Dogpatch ran -- literally -- after unmarried men to propose that day."

Or maybe the tradition actually started with St. Patrick and St. Bridget (5th Century) in Ireland. There aren't any actual eye witnesses, but it has been said that St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick that the sisters in her nunnery were in despair because the prevailing tradition at the time -- that women had to wait for a proposal of marriage from a man. St.Patrick agreed to allow women to propose to men every four years, during Leap Year. Afterwards, Bridget proposed to Patrick only to be turned down!

So ladies...it is officially your day!

Ask the hottie of your dreams out for a drink after work or if you are already intimate...turn the tables on him and become the dominant one tonight! (Or the submissive one if you are normally dominant)

Let's shake things up today!

Good News Patient Readers!

Dear Readers,

I need a drum roll...
Because thanks to the unbelievable flu season...
knock on wood I am finally feeling better...
and...just in time to slip on the ice yesterday and sprain my leg...good grief...
this is soooooooo not funny...sex may be out for a ew days...
but good has come from being sick in bed for 4 weeks...yikes...

Do I hear a drum roll?
Cause Unholy Promises: Book 3 of THe Chronicles of Surrender is done!!!!!!!!

I know...I'm amazed too...
This one has taken YEARS to write...
I actually started it in 1998...

More news...
And all because of this horrid flu season!

I think I'm going to need trumpets too...
Cause Book 4: Vow of Silence officially has the first three chapters started!

YAY!!

I'm beginning to think that I should just make staying in my PJ's and not getting out of bed my new day job, cause I sure do get a lot accomplished this way;)

Hope everyone else is having an awesome day too!
Hugs
Roxy

Desired Control vs Unwanted Control

The WIP I'm working on titled A Submissive's Journey (the sequel to Submissive in the anthology Dom/sub) deals with a sub facing the fact that her cherished long-term D/s relationship might not have been as healthy as she once thought...and now, facing a new relationship, she must come to terms with what she is willing to commit to and part of that is recognizing when the Desired Control slides over into Unwanted conntrol.

I think that this becomes an issue in "vanilla" and "kink" relationships and in either type of relationship, if not dealt with can be unhealthy.

It seemed oddly appropriate, since I am working with this issue in my writing, that someone asked me in a forum last night, "If you don't mind me asking, when you were in your 15 year full time D/s relationship, at what point did you see the desired control and abuse slip over into unwanted control and abuse?"

Here was my answer, imperfect punctuation, grammar and all...because I'm not at my best at 2:30am...
wrote about 9 hours ago:
That blurring line is always the tough one...its great that everyone always falls back on the line "safe, sane, and consensual" but the truth is consenual becomes blurred when you start taking more and more because of willingness to please etc...making safe and or sane at that point questionable.

I called it quits when I realized that no matter what I did...is wan't good enough...and when I sought outside help to talk to others about "is this normal" he became enraged and took my laptop as punishment. I'm a writer...lock me in the house, take away my car keys, deny me anything except my computer. I tried to leave, he hit me...I called 911 and as they say...got the hell outta dodge.

I don't think it needs to get that serious. Any time you feel that your wants, needs, or desires are being addressed, a red flag should go up because the Dom should really love you more than self. A good Dom will go above and beyond to make sure that you enjoy the experiences and have adequate attention post scene.

I am no longer an advocate of 24/7 relationships and worry about anyone who is in one because the scene never ends. I believe kink-time needs to be divided from real-time (or at least have a "Reality check-word" in place that says "we need to discuss our relationship (or scene) and where it is headed" or at least one room in the house becomes kink free so that real life issues and needs can be discussed without the personas of D/s in place because in a 24/7 one's own individuality suffers ... personality suffers ... and identity suffers.

For your situation, maybe all you need is to draw the line and set a timeframe for Playtime so that when it is over Reality comes back. Professional players do this all the time and whether it is an hour or a weekend or a week at a time...it ends. But even with that in place have the "reality check word" which is separate from your "safe word" and do not play with anyone who does not respect your need for these two types of safe words.

Here's an example...I'll use red(stop the scene), yellow(slow down the scene), green(I'm okay now) for my safe words as well as Master's Full Name Identification for very heavy scenes because once the endorphins kick in pain blurs so if I/or my partner cannot respond at any moment ...ie it takes too long to remember that middle name (Master's full birthdate can work too)...pain play stops.

The Reality Check word we use is "We need to talk" and we'll use it a long weekends or any extended play that lasts more than 12 hours (probably because I got so screwed up in the 24/7 nightmare I lived)...any time I feel the scene has deviated from the original plan (he or I) can use this...all "play" stops... we give up our "personas" long enough to sit and look at each other to honestly talk about what we're thinking, feeling, needing from the scene and from each other...because we are partners and co-creators of each others fantasies regardless of who is technically "on top".

Hope this helps and isn't too confusing... Hugs Roxy

So for anyone else out there, currently dealing with this issue and what I really didn't say in my answer is that it is all about communication and when in the context of a D/s relationship that can be a problem if you are being "forbidden from speaking".

Being kinky is amazing and it should promote personal growth on both sides, when it isn't working, it just isn't...so get out of the bad relationships and nurture the good relationships.

Those Secret Relationships ...

I'm writing a book... obviously... that has my crit partner Xandra up in arms ... because it involves "Cheating" and how can my heroine warrant any sympathy from the readers if she is a "bad" person. Hmmm. She has begged me not to write this book (I tried to explain that I'm not writing Gone With The Wind here)... she begged me to change it so that the heroine breaks up with the boyfiend prior to "cheating" ... but I told her that isn't likely to happen... I mean we all have or will cheat or have thought about cheating at some point in our lifetimes ... especially if fantasies count.

So the story is staying as is...

But what about the rest of you, does it bother you that a main charater might cheat?
(answers are required, readers...that's what the comment box is for)

Here's the bigger question, in my story the boyfriend finds out ... same as real life ... cheaters get caught ... eventually ... and the boyfriend forgives.

Xandra's point was that cheating is unforgivable and that it is never truly forgiven even if the wronged party says they forgive ... I don't agree with that ...

Anyway... here is a "funny" commercial that uses both BDSM and "Cheating" to sell their product. It made me smile ...


Direct Link

Nightmares...

Ever wake up remembering every horrifying second of a really bad dream? Ever wake up after having a really bad dream and feel like there was someone in the room with you? How about touching you? Intimately?

Holy crap...that was my 5:30am... and since I'd written until after 3am...not going back to sleep has been regrettable...because I'm in a horrid mood, but going back to sleep was also impossible because for the first hour after waking...I was seriously too terrified to move.

I joked this morning on Twitter that I should write a book about it, wondering if Stephen King did collaborations...I don't know if a book will come of it...but so far a rough outline has. A 3K word outline and not the type of book I normally write. No, this is much, much darker...having BDSM, stalkers, paranormal activity, voodoo, and a police investigation into murder (plus a Stephen King darkness that would chill your blood...because I was that scared...and the dream was that freaking convincing.)

I actually Reiki'ed myself for an hour after I woke up to try to relax...when that didn't work I sent a Reiki field of protection around my house...

I tried to explain it to Sir Hotness but I don't think he got it but then he wasn't the one who woke up convulsing mid-orgasm with the feeling of pain shooting through his ribs from the imaginary butcher knife from my dreams...or with the face of the sadistic stalker forever branded in his brain...

The scary truth is a dog can't protect me from my own imagination and really, a quick dream analysis would probably explain 90% of it... it's just that 10% I can't explain...the pressure against my ribs that obviously wasn't a knife but was real and hurt like fucking hell.

New Puppy in the House

The Universe provides in mysterious ways...
I didn't wake up Saturday morning expecting to become a puppy owner, in fact, that was probably the farthest thing from my mind since I woke up wholly focused on finishing WIP ...Chronicles of Surrender: Unholy Promises.

That swiftly fell apart when my oldest daughter showed up with grand babies and a new puppy in tow...

Asking how they ended up with a puppy generated the response that my neighbor was giving puppies away(realizing that I live in the middle of nowhere and the neighbor is half a mile away)... Did I want one? My immediate response was "No" because I was holding out for a guard dog...something family friendly but that would scare the crap out of anyone else approaching the house.

The big question of course was "What breed are they?"
Answer: half Australian Shepherd, half black lab

Suddenly, Sir Hotness was interested in the puppies too... after all there wouldn't be any chance the puffballs will turn into a 125lb giant...as would have the Tibetan Mastiff.

His interest is probably because of the damage done by this TM. Or it might be because he was telling his boss that I wanted one and that garnered the reply, "You might want to think twice about that... and this is why..." Turns out his in-laws own a TM and live in a subdivision. One day their TM took a walk and brought home a deer. The neighbors were in an uproar that if the dog was big enough to down a wild animal and drag it home...what would he do to the neighbor's kids playing out front?

Anyway, Faced with the option of small and cuddly, he jumped on the idea of a mixed breed that will only get up to about 45-55lbs.

Long story short, I went to the neighbors and found out that the puppies have been living outside for the last three weeks. Lets review the weather here in Ohio...negative digits, high wind gusts, snow, sleet, rain, more snow, followed by raining ice...then I asked to see the puppies and found them not in a pen or even a fenced yard...with no dog house or shelter in sight. My son-in-law admitted that they ended up with puppy number one because it ran across the road to yap at him when he stopped at the corner store for a gallon of milk on the way to my house.

I was fuming at the lack of care and/or concern.

I saved a life by taking in Jazzy, as did my daughter in taking in Lily, that I don't doubt...and in the meantime I'm barely restrained to keep from calling the Humane Society to talk to them about the treatment of the puppy's mother.

So anyway...I now have a puppy...

Lets just hope the little powder puff can learn to defend her turf...

She's a cutey...
Her name is Jazzmine

What Do You Want?

Try throwing four simple words into a conversation and see how quickly the party dies. Why is it that, "What do you want?" creates such mental trauma?

You are probably wondering where I am going with this...
Here we go, I may be able to wrap this blog up in a minute or it may take forever because at this point the thoughts in my head are playing ping-pong in my brain...

I've been writing on A Submissive's Journey and it's going fairly well, but then last night, Lord Draco asked Julia, "What do you want?" and maybe that was just too open ended of a question for her, or maybe as the author of this unfolding drama, it was too open ended of a question for me...because what a can of worms...

Julia's answer was that she doesn't want anything or rather she only wants what her Master decides she needs...okay, that's a respectable submissive answer...but she's also a living, breathing human being that somewhere inside her luscious body must have some unfulfilled desire, some need...some dream...

Or maybe that's just me, the author, thinking too much and I need my heroine to go back to being brainless and selfless...

Stay with me, I'm slightly switching tangents here...

"What do you want?" isn't that the ultimate pared down version of life's secret battle to find inner meaning and happiness? I mean it can just as easily be rephrased as, "What are you looking for in a career?", "What are you looking for in a home?", "What are you looking for in a man?"... isn't that the doozey? That whole "man-thing" gets thrown in and watch the fuck out!!
Because we all want Mr. Perfect don't we? And in the past our romance novels helped define the idea of who Mr. Perfect was...

Trust me, I could go off on a whole tangent in chronological order of how romance novels have influenced who we are as women and how that has influenced our mate choices...

But the bottom line for Julia was: What did she need to help her find her inner bliss?
Freedom?
Independence?
Career?
The white picket fence and two point five children?
Submission?
Restraint?
Control?
And the conclusion that maybe picking one from the list wasn't enough of a choice...that maybe she needed two or three items on the list...or maybe, somedays, she actually wanted everything on the list and that she needed a Master to recognize that and help her discover that being submissive doesn't mean being mindless... or ambitionless.

So what's the bottom line for the rest of us?
I used to think that I wanted wild, mindless passion superseding all else...and that's the way I went into relationships so that when the passion fizzled, I thought the relationship was over and ended it before trying to figure out where else it could go...

RF wrote a blog comment once that I wish I still had, challenging that very mindset, telling me point blank that if I was ever going to be happy...I had it all wrong. What nerve she had! That comment bugged me...for days...a lot, so much so that I was angry, but then, like all things that trigger an illogical outburst of anger, work was needed within and I recognized that... and thankfully by the time I was ready for the next relationship, I entered it not looking for passion exclusively...I was looking for intelligence, wit, companionship, and like-minded spirituality... I found an absolutely amazing guy... and as an amazing, unexpected, but thoroughly appreciated by-product found passion. Who would have thought? This guy, who I could talk to about social evolution, enviromental issues, theology, globalization, ancient civilaiztions...pub songs, became Sir Hotness...

This lady might have said that by taking my focus from what I really wanted (passion) and looked instead for what I thought I needed (until death do us part companionship) that I'd "Settled." Boy, has she missed the point entirely ...

That's why I am so thankful to RF for asking me, "What do you want?" because in the end, I got more than I ever knew I wanted.

Wake Up Calls...

Wake Up One:
I sat at work yesterday ... Real Estate day job ...answering phones ... realizing I was making zero cents per hour. A bad market really wakes you up to the truth. In the past, in the good market, clients often asked for a reduction in the fee I charged (the average 6%) and damned me if I didn't sometimes fold and write the contract on 5 or 5.5%. I never made the client justify how much their bosses paid them because they had me over a barrel ... seriously, like water-boarding torture ... because I had children to feed and if I did or didn't close the deal meant I may or may not feed my children the following month. I wish I was exagerating. The truth is before the crash in the market I was excelling as an agent ... what the industry likes to call a Rising Star ... Meaning I was at the One Million sales volume mark and on my way to hitting the Two Million sales volume mark (in one year). In paycheck terms One Million in sales equals 15K per yr, Two Million equals 30k. Divide that by the 60 and 70 hours per week I was spending on the road and it adds up to making less per hr than a McDonald's employee and that doesn't take into account the phone bill or gas...so don't get me started (and pray that no one ever asks me to lower my fee again because you may hear my answer in whatever state you live in). It's a hard career even in a good market.

Then I married Sir Hotness and people at the office started saying that I wasn't "as hungry" but the truth is, my hunger for success has never changed ... it's just switched gears. Yes, I am still a real estate agent ... but first and foremost I am a writer ... and Sir Hotness has made that possible because a) he believes in me but b) he doesn't mind paying the bills while I do the work to succeed.

Wake Up Two:
Karma is a bitch and how (why) did I end up with this particular life lesson? The life lesson in question? I tend to attract stalkers ... on a semi regular basis ...

Stalker 1: I was seventeen and said stalker was approximately twenty-two and quite the hottie although for the three weeks that he was leaving notes, cards, flowers ... and a dead cat ... in my path ... and I didn't know who he was ... I wouldn't have cared if he was a young Brad Pitt because I was terrified.

Stalker 2 and 3: (It was a tough year what can I say) I was twenty-two, my at the time husband was in a coma and Stalker 2 was his supposed best friend who, when I confronted him, said he was following me to "Keep me safe" (a threat from a mutual friend ended that stalker's interest)... and Stalker 3 was the nuerosurgeon who saved my husbands life but rendered him a vegtable ... (he was fired and deported)

Stalker 4: I was twenty-seven and the stalker was never identified but at some point gave up and went away but not before he'd scared the crap out of me on several occasions, making me hate alleys, elevators, stairwells, and parking places that didn't have at least two exits. Our final encounter was via telephone conversation where he promised that I would never know where or when but that he was going to slice off my pretty face. (Nice...I spent the better part of a decade looking over my shoulder.)

Stalker 5: I was forty and the guy drove me insane for months, watching me, following me, parking in front of my house, parking behind my house and numerous phone calls to the police seemed to do nothing because I couldn't prove he was breaking any laws. Isn't stalking breaking a law?

So here we are three years later and I think I've attracted another one ... what in the hell did I do to make these men get obsessed with me? Really? I haven't had a clue until the epiphany today ... that it is karma. But what did I do in my past life? What is this life's lesson so that I can learn it and end this madness? If anyone has any ideas ... please let me know.

Wake Up Three:
I do better with deadlines. I've been writing little bits here and there not really adding up to complete works, but then an email from one of the editors I'm working with, not asking me to hurry up but offering encouragement because he is an ardent fan and (yeah right) ... Look, I'm a person pleaser ... he had me at "I was just wondering..." ... My muse has been singing ever since.
Thank you, Danny Boy:)

So, if I'm not as wordy over the next few weeks it is solely because I am determined to get A Submissive's Journey to Loose-Id by the end of March.

And for those who have been reading and noticed all of the open ended questions ... if you have answers to the many dilemmas this week ... PLEASE Speak Up!!

And Nina! Haha...you are so right ... in the long run a Tibetan Mastiff might cost more than an ADT but I still think it will be worth it in the long run. Any suggestions for convincing Sir Hotness would also be greatly appreciated ... although Forgotten Girl's suggestion gets tried first ... as soon as he gets home from the latest business trip ... although he always gets THAT anyway so I don't know how much sway it will have ...

The Choking Game...

News reports about the "Choking Game" lists 82 deaths spread across 31 states as determined by the CDC. Nearly 90 percent were boys, at an average age of about 13. Eighty-two seems like a lot ... enough to read the story maybe ... but then that is what the number is designed to do and that's what bothers me. Because the use of a total count (spanning twelve years and making it seem that all eighty-two deaths occurred recently) is insanely misleading. Making the count seem like an epidemic vs the reality that the numbers of deaths are in decline: compare three or fewer deaths reported from 1995 through 2004, 22 in 2005, 35 in 2006 and then dropping to just 9 in 2007.

The report was quick to point out that the game is also known by names that include "blackout," "space monkey" and "pass out," and is easily findable on YouTube. Is the report designed to increase the numbers ... ie copycats ... or is news just slow this week.

Curious, I went to http://www.scarleteen.com/, hoping to find a warning or article on the subject, and found nothing, which was disappointing because teens do use this resource.

So, the question is, since the media seems intent on making a big deal out of this, shouldn't we at least address the issue with our kids? I mean, I have never sat my daughters down to address choking ... lots of other fetish topics but never choking ... and now, because of what I see as irresponsible reporting, I'm going to talk to my youngest (It is also a primo opportunity to talk to my daughter about Yellow Journalism which in my book is the bigger story.) For Beautiful Girl, a requested conversation won't be a surprise ... because our random, "Sit down, we need to talk about something," has become a regular interruption in her normally scheduled day.

A FOUR DAY DIET?

Okay, so I was supposed to be writing, ended up researching then decided to catch the noon news before opening A Submissive's Journey ... then channel surfing my way toward the news I heard the magic word DIET ... but not just Diet ... Rachel Ray billed it as The Four Day Diet ... thus I landed on her noon show, forgetting all about the news.

It seems Prevention Magazine even printed an article about it and there is a book called the Flat Belly Diet.

In summary, quoted from this site:
"To the ancient Greeks, olive oil was liquid gold. For the Aztecs, chocolate was sacred. Almonds were prized by Egypt's pharaohs, and avocados have symbolized fertility for centuries. These can't-live-without-'em foods share more than history; they also share unique health properties. They're packed with monounsaturated fatty acids (also known as MUFAs, pronounced MOO-fahs), those good-for-you fats that protect you from chronic disease and, according to new research, can help you lose fat, specifically around your middle. That's why they're at the heart of the Flat Belly Diet, a unique Prevention-tested weight loss plan."

On Rachel Ray's show four "victims" were selected to embark on the four day jump start ...
It was all very compelling...
Heather, "The four days worked but planning was difficult ... lost two pounds."
Maureen, "I can't wait to start the entire diet. I lost seven pounds in four days."

www.flatbellydiet.com has more info if you are interested.

For me, I'm trying a combination of everything because I challenged my hubby and daughters to a Biggest Loser competition (although Beautiful Girl is prohibitted from losing more than fifteen pounds because she just doesn't have it to lose; and her skinny BF has been challenged to gain every pound she loses...that should be entertaining)

And Me? I'd like to drop thirty pounds before swimsuit season...

Monday Turns Weird ...

All right, I live in Ohio .... So I almost get waking up to 21F warming to 50F and moments of rain, sleet, snow with brilliant sunshine all at the same time ...

Welcome to today.

I may have a stalker...yet to be confirmed.

Surprise (well not really) was the news from the Democrat camps. Clintons group accusing Obamas writers of plagiarism and Obama admitting that he did "borrow" what he said... Yep, in literary circles we call that plagiarism.

Now to define how my Monday turned weird. I'm not sure when or why or how but everything in my brain has seemed to flip flop. Where to begin?

Twenty years ago I decided to be a vegetarian and for about fifteen years that was my life. Then I started craving meat ... not just wanting t but dreaming about it ... and not just meat but ripping open wrappers in the meat department and devouring raw meat dreams ...yuk! At the time I was also seriously embracing celibacy as my newly divorced newly single Yogini lifestyle. Some of my yoga students helped me to see my raw meat need as sexuality based and should I just go get laid ... or eat meat? I went to the grocery bought the biggest steak I could find ... grilled it ... barely ... and ate it ... thus ending my journey as Vegetarian and maintaining my stance on how to manage my sexuality.

Now I'm happily married to Sir Hotness ... sex is not a problem ...and I can honestly say that up until about noon today I haven't thought about or missed my Veggie filled life ... then at noon I became obsessed with my eating habits of late ... I've spent hours online searching for my old fav veggie recipes...

Sir Hotness is not a vegetarian. He's the guy that has meat with side orders of meat. Isn't this just great?

That wasn't the end of my weirdness.
I've spent a year getting used to the fact that Sir Hotness is not really a pet guy even though he puts up with the two cats and one small dog.

The problem is I miss Charlie a lot ... obsessively a lot ...he was the boxer I had before meeting Sir Hotness and he admittedly had issues ... the dog, not the man ... issues that came to a violence while I was away on my honeymoon. My brain wants to defend him because I know he had separation anxiety but the sane part of me tells me that I had to have him put down after he attacked another dog and the kennel owner.

I want another big dog and I don't really know how to bring Sir Hotness around to the idea ... mainly because he's been waiting a year for me to get over my need for a big dog presence in my life ... that won't happen ... I've always had a big dog in my life, sometimes several big dogs in my life simultaneously ... I have chosen the dogs in my life over and above the men in my life (Yikes! I hate to admit that but if that's my worst truth ... I can own it)

The weirdness was me having to lock myself in the house to keep myself from going out and getting a big dog. I couldn't keep from dream doggie shopping online though.

I am so out of control.
I'm hoping that Wednesday's full moon sets my life back in order because I don't know that Sir Hotness is going to be able to deal with a fridge full of Veggies and a new Big Dog in the house when he gets home from his trip...

**editted
So, Sir Hotness answer to the big dog making me feel safer (esp since the suspected stalker incidence) was to investigate home security systems...not a bad idea until I started investigating...

Did I mention today has gone weird?
How weird is it that Inside Edition did an expose report on the security company ADT tonight?! Yeah, I had to watch it. Did you know that even though the base price at about $2400 installed plus their monthly monitoring fee gives you the guarantee of only $500 in event of any type of loss even if that loss is due to Gross Neglect due to the part of ADT ... the woman in the expose was actually killed after relying on ADT to alert her to break in. She was being stalked and even though her boyfriend was there and armed with a gun to protect her and her four children .... her stalker was able to break in (alarm failure) and kill both her and her boyfriend. ADT's contract makes them not liable for a penny beyond $500. (Yep thats really going to help those four kids...)

I'll save Sir Hotness the $2400 and a lot of anxious nights laying awake worried that the alarm is going to fail ... Dogs bark. Dogs don't fail...

Ummm...this is the type of dog that has won my heart today... American Tibetan Matiff (yes, it's subject to change but for tonight this is the protector that I will be dreaming about):

This is what I learned tonight about American Tibetan Mastiffs...

Temperament: Tibetan Mastiffs are intelligent, independent, reliable, loyal and strong willed. They can be reserved and independent, often stubborn and dominant. This breed requires a dominant owner. (got that under control:)They have been said to have "catlike" behavior. They make excellent guards and watchdogs. Tibetan Mastiffs are good and gentle with children, but should be supervised with them, as they can be overprotective. (hello, all dogs must be supervised around children. Period.) They are used as guards of livestock, but are also equally happy to relax. They are easygoing when not under percieved threat. They can be quite aloof, but they usually enjoy being near their masters most of the time. They are adaptable to temperatures, able to do their job in a snow drifts or in hot weather.

With Children: Yes, they are good with children, gentle with their own family

With Pets: Yes, they do well with other pets, they’re not usually dog aggressive.

Special Skills: Protectors and guardians.

Watch-dog: High.

Guard-dog: High. This breed has been bred over the years for this very purpose.

(This dog is PERFECT!)

What Day Is It?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here is a short video from PostSecret.com ...
sharing secrets about Love

I hope you enjoy it;)

Hugs

Roxy

Direct Link

The Cupid and Psyche Awards is Coming ...

The Romance Studio is celebrating their fifth annual Cupid and Psyche Awards (CAPA) for excellence in romantic fiction will be held on Thursday, February 14, 2008 so be sure to stop by their blog tomorrow between 9 AM EST until 5:30 PM EST. Not only will an award be announced every thirty minutes, there will also be great prizes given away to readers who stop by the blog. One of the prizes will be one of my ebooks ... yay ... and lots of other really awesome authors are going to be giving away their books as well ... double yay.

Okay, now, curbing my enthusiasm after that very commercial moment...
And as if any of us need reminding that tomorrow is supposed to be the MOST ROMANTIC DAY of the year, let me just say that even though I am jaded ... and even though I was eighteen before I actually had a boyfriend that coincided with the time during this most important day ... and even though there have been many Valentines Day's that have come and gone between that one and this year's when I didn't have a significant other to share it with ... Valentine's Day is my FAVORITE holiday.

I know, there are a million arguments that Valentine's Day is superficial and commercial and greeting card fueled...

I love it!!

A day to celebrate love and romance and passion ... how wonderful is that?
Even on years when I was alone (and lonely) I managed to celebrate the day in a romance filled way whether it was wining and dining myself at a too expensive restaurant, or buying myself a very sexy teddy with the intention of sharing it with the future love I knew was in my future ... does that sound mildly psychotic? LOL

Valentine's Day evolved after I had children ... because even though I didn't always have a specific someone I was romantically involved with ... I had little one's in my life who I loved to share it with ... heart shaped pancakes, heart shaped balloons, hard shaped cookies and candies and homemade valentine's day cards... teddy bears that always hold their hearts right where you can see them ...

Beautiful Girl informed me that she has a boyfriend this year and to not plan on dinner and a movie with her this year...

Sir Hotness is out of town ... as in a thousand miles away on business ... bummer ...but hopefully he will be back in town before midnight and we can at least share a kiss on the official day ...

But for all intent purposes ... I am going to be by myself ...
And yeah, I'm celebrating ...
because it is a wonderful day this day we can set aside and be oh so thankful for all those we have ever loved and for all those who we will love in the future ... and for all those people in our lives right this moment who we love desperately and for one reason or another, we can't be with them ...

Don't forget to join me here and join me at The Romance Studio tomorrow because I especially want the opportunity to say I LOVE YOU to you on this very important day of the year.

Fun Video ... song by The Format about Love

Direct Video Link

Snow Day!

I'm so excited! We officially had a snow day!
How did Beautiful Girl and I celebrate?

We slept til noon-thirty then watched videos...
Good Luck Chuck
Stardust

Now she is on Myspace catching up with friends and I am going to soak in a hot, bubbly tub...
Ahhhh...everyday should be a snow day;)

Winter Storm Warning...

For hours now all I have heard on radio and television is that we are under a WINTER STORM WARNING... sounds quite ominous, I know, but as of yet...nada...

No rain, sleet, snow...nothing.

Yet, the man on the news is saying, "Do not go outside. Stay home."

Okay, I believe in being prepared but come on...
I mean, it sounds a bit armegeddon...

So, I sit, watching the School Closings roll across the bottom of the screen... just in case ... because Beautiful Girl has her fingers and her toes crossed that there will be a Snow Day.

We'll see. Call me jaded, but I'm not getting my hopes up... because I absolutely LOVE snowdays. I hate snow and all the slushy, grey mess and freezing temperatures that go along with it ... but I'm good for one good hike through the woods or even a happy jaunt around the block. I especially like to walk when the big, fluffy white is falling from the sky... Yippee.

So I will stay awake, watching the sky, with my fingers and toes crossed, and as much heart pounding excitement bottled up as the teenage girl upstairs, trying to sleep, just in case she has to go to school after all...

(to be continued...)

Big Winds In Ohio...

Wow...Beautiful Girl and I were awake until we fell asleep exhausted because the wind zooming around our house sounded like a band of screaming banshees...then this morning we woke up to more of the same. I wish I could add a recording of it...the sound is that amazing.

I sat at the table watching the bird seed blow out of the bird feeders...they were flying sideways for most of the morning so what grows in the backyard in the Spring should be interesting.

Good news out of California today as the writer's strike shows hope of coming to an end...

And cross my fingers, knock on wood, light another candle...because I woke up feeling "frisky"...so lets hope that signals that I am actually coming to an end of this dreaded cold/flu/bronchitis/but not pneumonia thing that I've been fighting for three solid weeks. I feel I owe a big huge thank you to Hookah Girl and Forgotten Girl for sending me Reiki last night...

I should have asked them sooner...much, much sooner...

If you don't know a lot about Reiki ...this brand new blog is good... It's A Reiki Thing but there are lots of other places to go and learn about this wonderful, natural alternative healing method...so just google Reiki ;)

Wow ... I feel so much better ... I think I may actually get some writing done today!!! YAY!!!

Scandal, Bodice Rippers, and PostCoitus Conversations

Okay, I've been sick...very sick...but through the haze of Codeine infused cough syrup I've managed to try to keep up with what is going on in the world...even though I've kept fairly quiet. Take for instance the Cassie Edwards plagiarism scandal which I caught wind of moments after the first slice of info appeared on Smart Bitches Blog...yes the evidence posted side by side was compelling and after a short cough filled phone conversation with Xandra Gregory on the matter I went back to bed and put the subject out of my mind more or less...

This morning...I remembered...but not for the reasons you might think...yes I am still appalled at the early allegations...but what I read today just about knocked me down and for the first time I found myself infuriated...

Again, probably not for the reasons you would expect...and really, I'm still trying to sort it all out in my mind so I'll know which way to shoot my anger arrows...

First, let me explain what started this fissure of fire coursing through my veins (yeah, I know, I'll never be up to the spirited prose of Cassie but she has years more experience than I do)...anyway...it all began in my email because of a newsletter from Wildlife eNews...here is a Quote in it's entirety:

Wildlife Heroes
Forbidden Romance -- Exposed!
When Candy Tan and Sarah Wendell caught wind of a plagiarism scandal and posted it on their romance novel blog, they broke a story that raised the stature of a once-thought-to-be-extinct critter of the prairie to the national level (see feature story above). Novelist Nora Roberts -- herself a victim of plagiarists in the past -- offered a challenge to readers of Tan and Wendell’s blog: raise $5,000 for Defenders, and the Nora Roberts Foundation would match it. Readers took to the challenge. In two short days, wildlife-loving readers raised more than $5,000 to help save black-footed ferrets and other wildlife.

Thanks so much to Nora Roberts, Candy Tan, Sarah Wendell and their faithful blog readers!

Read more in Newsweek

Awww...that's nice, something good actually came out of this mess...but then I clicked on the link: Read More in Newsweek and THAT is when I really got pissed off...

So many reasons to totally be annoyed with what is said in this article. Where oh where do I start...

I don't expect men to understand why women like romance novels, but I really get annoyed when they cop an attitude and tear the literary value to shreds as does Paul Tolme who drops right into the descriptives of twenty years ago calling Cassie Edwards novel a "bodice ripper". Haven't we moved beyond that?

What really rankled me beyond comprehension was Cassie Edwards herself and I honestly tried to keep an open mind on this whole thing from the moment I heard the first accusations ... because plagiarism scandals come ... and plagiarism scandals go ... and btw plagiarism is wrong. Period. But it is also the very dark side of the business we are in.

But what I found to be totally inexcusable and what really got me mad was this line, taken from Cassie Edward's book and reported in Newsweek:

Quote From Shadow Bear by Cassie Edwards:

Shiona then tells Shadow Bear how she once read about ferrets in a book she took from the study of her father. "I discovered they are related to minks and otters. It is said their closest relations are European ferrets and Siberian polecats," she says. "Researchers theorize that polecats crossed the land bridge that once linked Siberia and Alaska, to establish the New World population."

Really? Researchers theorize? Come on Cassie...and even more to the point was there a theory on the Siberian land bridge (let alone a published book) and why wasn't this referenced in the footnotes somewhere? But the far greater crime was that this chunk of dialogue actually made it to PRINT. If this book is set in the ...what ... guessing ... late 1800's ... and research was done ... say ... present day ... shouldn't an editor have been raising a red flag and had a discussion with Cassie before this book ever made it to wide spread sales?

Quote from Shadow Bear by Cassie Edwards

Shadow Bear responds: "What I have observed of them, myself, is that these tiny animals breed in early spring when the males roam the night in search of females." As the ferrets bound off into some distant bushes, he continues: "Mothers typically give birth to three kits in early summer and raise their young alone in abandoned prairie dog burrows."
Shiona: "I read that ferrets stalk and kill prairie dogs during the night. Using their keen sense of smell and whiskers to guide them through pitch-black burrows, ferrets suffocate the sleeping prey, an impressive feat considering the two species are about the same weight." Shiona shivers, upset by the thought of the cute animals locked in mortal combat.

Please realize that this entire conversation is post-coitus and even though my science nerd husband and I get into some pretty brain numbing "intelligent" conversations after having wild monkey sex, I don't think that Indian Joe and Little Caucasian Girl from The Prairie would have any such dialogue. Maybe I'm wrong.

I guess the reason I got so mad, no disrespect to Cassie herself because she has had a phenomenal career, was that this latest book demonstrates really bad writing (and if you are going to take the time to steal someone else's written word...shouldn't it actually read well enough to be worth stealing?) And yet this bad writing sells ... and sells ... and sells...

Thus Paul Tolme and every other superior feeling journalist out there is given the opening to poke fun at romance ... and in light of this current example ... I don't even feel right getting pissed off because the guy called it a "bodice ripper"... or took time to point out the really awful dialogue that was incorporated plagiarizing his work

Can we please raise the bar as an industry? Starting now?

BREATHE

JUST BREATHE

Okay, now that that is off my chest, on to something a little lighter...a post-coitus moment brought to you by Los Angeles comedy group Fries On The Side...and not appropriate for viewers under the age of 18 or others who may be offended by mature, alternative lifestyle humor.

Direct Link

Sign A Petition

I know, I'm Roxy Harte...normally I sign petitions to save jaguars, or whales, or to stop unfair labor practices, or to stop roads being built through sacred lands...or...okay, so this petition will not save any part of our enviroment or our internet...but by signing it, together, we may be able to bring back on of my favorite paranormal television series...The Dresden Files...

Sign The Petition Here.

Thank you...

If you missed the original series...and you want to watch the first season before commiting to the petition...you can get it at all the major dvd rental shops...you can also get it here...

And if after viewing the dvd you want more...
a) sign the petition
b) buy the books by Jim Butcher

and after reading Jim Butcher, you may find author Justin Gustainis entertaining... so check out his Black Magic Woman which I have been reading while I have been sick...

Okay, let me know if you signed the petition...I'll be giving away a copy of Dom/sub for Valentine's Day and the people who sign the petition get their name in the drawing hat TWICE...yay

I Thought I Was Better...

Had my hopes up for a few minutes this afternoon...but then after a five minute excursion into Kroger decided No, not feeling better...

This post on my Myspace page though...did make me smile...THX Paganfairy:)


My middle daughter called to see if I was better...although I know the truth lies in the fact that she wanted dinner and access to the washer and dryer (Cabrio rules)...in my heart I know she cares too cause in her sternest EMT/Firewoman voice she commanded me to call the Dr. and tell him I'm not better...

...And I had a call from Forgotten Girl who wanted to make sure I was alive...
...And a txt from Hookah Girl who just realized (after two weeks) that I had fallen off the face of the earth (guess that new guy IS ENTERTAINING...and he gets extra points because he read Sacred Secrets;)

...And a txt from my Real Estate Gal Pal Jess who is 2cm dialated and hopefully having a baby SOON!!!!!!

Also, got an email from B.D. Dark co-celebrating our February Joyfully Reviewed Pick of our anthology Dom/sub for February...

So all in all...a good day...even if I am STILL coughing up my lungs...

Waving A White Flag

After sleeping 90% of the day away, I woke up long enough to watch American Idol and The Biggest Loser and House all simutaneously...quite a feat for someone who can't hold their head up without major profanity issueing forth...yes, I'm that ill.

I am waving a white flag and hoping the enemy (ie infection, germs, super bug extraordinaire) pays attention.

I told Sir Hotness I was goiing to double up on the antibiotic...two for one and kill em dead...he explained that it doesn't work that way...

I've decided to double up on the pain killers instead...because they do work that way. Obviously, no writing...and barely any thinking is getting done...

Good night...

Dom/Sub is Joyfully Reviewed's February Recommended Read!

It's grey and rainy, I'm still sick, but my email today put a sunny smile on my face! And the kick in the pants I need to hopefully kick this bug so I can finish Submissive's sequel!! I am determined to get well!!

Congratulations Roxy !

Dom/sub has been chosen as one of February’s Joyfully Reviewed's Recommended Reads.
Your review will also be posted to Amazon and your JR Button is below.

Review Link: http://www.joyfullyreviewed.com/reviews/RRs/Feb08RR/Domsub.BDDRH.html

This is what Dee Valentine of Joyfully Reviewed has to say about this anthology...I find it a huge complement ESPECIALLY since Dom/sub also received JERR's Silver Star Award(Their highest rating for an e-book)...

Dee Valentine quote, "While I Joyfully Recommend Dom/sub, as I said before this is not for the faint of heart. There is more to these two stories than someone getting a spanking and then sexed until it feels like their heart is going to stop. This is a raw look into the BDSM world from the point of view of two authors who wanted to push the envelope. Bravo Ms. Dark/Ms. Harte and I do hope to see future books written by you!"

So, today, I hope that anyone who has missed reading this one will opt to QUICK BUY today!!
Hugs
Roxy

Happy Anniversary To Me!

On this day last year, Sir Hotness and I got married. Yay!
So how are we celebrating?
Sir Hotness is currently watching me sit on the couch simutaneously blogging and coughing up a lung. Yep...it's going to be one Hot anniversary...Yikes

My plans had been to spend the night in downtown Cincy, hit a couple pubs, and then spend the rest of the evening naked. According to the Dr I saw yesterday, I might actually feel like thinking about getting naked with my husband sometime later next week. Ugh.

So, I've been prescribed not one but THREE rounds of broad spectrum antibiotics, cough syrup that will get rid of the gunk in my lungs which equates to an even greater amount of coughing...and I thought he actually wanted to silence my cough...no such luck...although if I'm not coughing up my lung, I am sleeping thanks to the Codeine in the cough syrup...so maybe it is silencing my cough and I just don't realize it because I'm asleep...I also have an inhaler...I never really saw the usefulness of an inhaler...but now, after only three uses...I'm hooked...I can't wait for the next hit because it actually makes it so that I can BREATHE! Double Yay!

So, the doctor, who I have a thirty year history with remembered my last trip to his office which was in 2004 and I had fallen and damaged my kidney...his recommended treatment was to send me to the hospital...my recommended treatment was to get well at home...I won...but with major antibiotics and total bedrest for three weeks...

This visit he asked, "So, if I want to put you in the hospital, you'll listen this time, right?"

I was non-comittal on that note...
I think the massive amounts of drugs I came home with should do it...

In the meantime, wish Sir Hotness a Happy Anniversary cause our most romantic night is going to be pretty pathetic...