Anyone who has spent a fair amount of time with a woman usually finds out that their mind is on over-drive...with the mental grocery list being constantly added to, floating schedules, to-do lists, calorie/carbohydrate calculations...and fantasies. The truth is women fantasize a lot.
A LOT! Very Naughty Scenarios...
I think it is what keeps us sane...lol...
But what are we fantasizing about? !
AskMen.com thinks they know...and they made a list...
10. Domination (her dominating him)
9. Domination (him dominating her)
8. Teacher/Student Roleplaying
7. Sex With A Stranger
6. Threesome with another Woman
5. Threesome with Two Men
4. Voyeurism
3. Rape
2. Exhibitionism
1. Private Dancer
So, in reading this article this morning, I agreed a bit, disagreed a bit...but in the end...admitted that my top three fantasies are on the list. How about you? Are you brave enough to list your top three fantasies in the comment section? And how far would you go to see your fantasies played out? What was your favorite fantasy enactment?
I'm actually working on a WIP with the fantasy theme and it's turning out to be much hotter than I thought it would...fantasy and role-playing is a very strong medium to work with. So come fall, be watching for a new release...
Until then, it's all about the research. Care to be my assistant?
Prizes...ahmmm...an ebook will be awarded to the brave:) and daring...
Roxy Harte, is a multi-published erotica author exploring the emotional and psychological elements of relationships involving BDSM, bondage, sadist, masochist, dominance, and submission; DDLG, age-play relationships; LGBTQIA relationships; and also relationships in which one of the main characters from a chronic illness or disability. Also blogged topics which may or may not be controvertial in nature. If you are easily offended, don't bother checking this site out.
15 comments:
I've written Erotica since I was in my early 20s (41 now). I found it a great release to let go of what some consider Taboo Topics, but why?
I've learned many are afraid to admit their fantasies, they are ashamed, or think something is Wrong with them..and perhaps it's the Toxic Stuff we grew up with, or perhaps went thru, put into a way that makes us feel Sick inside, However....
writing about it...can actually heal and give one, some perspective into what Turns Them On...and even what turns them Off..it's a way of dealing with things, and also...it's a way to feel what we wouldn't normally feel...perhaps in the actual experience.
When I was 23 I was asked to write a "Sexual Fantasy". We were a group of 12 women or so. The day came when everyone handed them in:
'sex on a romantic beach' and "i want my lover to tie me up" small phrases, no deatails.
I handed in about 7 pages of Full Detail, down right visual writing.
On the list? Yes, you bet it is, in fact several are on that list.
Public Sex, multiple experiences in one setting. Men and Women, Exhibition and Voyeurism.Stages and an Audience.
Graphic, so graphic that the 'reader' of the stories took several breaks and pauses, turning red as she did so.
I'm not sure why i wrote these things, or what the exact reason is for even thinking, nor do i care, it's mine.
Did it heal me? yes, and it also got me in touch with a part of myself that I once would think of as shameful.
I have No intention of acting the fantasy out, nor did I when I wrote it. It's a crazy, playful, Powerful Toy..the Mind!!! Sharing it with your trusted partner, should never be a shaming thing...it's a learning thing.
You are so right about the mind being our most powerful toy!
And I think fantasizing enough about something helps to lesson the tabooness of the action...maybe makes it easier to fulfill the fantasy if the opportunity arises:)
So true Roxy! My husband always said, the Mind is the most powerful sex organ of them all, and of course we know this to be true. With so many women having been in some of the situations in their life, or rape, or being threatened..it would make most people think that writing about such things, is bad, or evil or shameful. It takes a lot to get through things like that, and to embrace experience and grow from it, instead of banging ourselves down with things that weren't our doings or fault. I call it *Taking The Power Back* and to me that is vital, in order to get past it.
What we think, is never wrong...how we play those thoughts out is what makes it a good or bad experience. Willing participants is a must. I know in the BDSM Community it's a Rule, to have safe words, because often some of those experiences, lead to some traumatic events, things we want to grow past, not live in anymore...we want to release these things, not hold them inside where they can fester and turn toxic.
Writing, like you do, or I do, or many people do, gives us a diff perspective at times, helps us see it from another point of view, and hopefully come to the realization, that again
Our Thoughts are Never Wrong...What we do with those thoughts, is another story...and sometimes, a very pleasant one:)
Wow, anon, very deep. I just have to say that my top three are definitely on that list. I enjoy writing erotica because it let's me explore those fantasies and hopefully the reader can live out a little bit of their fantasy life as well.
top three fantasies
1. most of my fantasies are very long and explicit and center around a theme of coerced sex...you know, not exactly rape but unwilling cooperation
2. sex as a performance before a large group
3. hard core flogging
would i want them to come true? nope
fantasy that actually did come true? menage
Yeah, I tend to like medium core flogging...red and stingy...but no blood. So I can't even count that as a fantasy...but I did really get a little turned on watching a hard core flogging, so I'm not sure what that says about me.
Most of my fantasies have been enacted and it seems I've covered the top-ten with the exception of menage with two men...so that is still a fantasy...
And private dancer...but my fantasy isn't about dancing privately...it's more of the show up at amatuer night and take the stage variety. We have a strip club in town and every time I drive by it I just snicker to myself,thinking, "Someday" ...until then it fills a fair amount of my fantasy time.
Other than that I have some major FemDom fantasies, because even though I've topped a man...I didn't get to TOP the man. I'd really like to have an all-out test his limits and mine night... so that is probably my numero uno fantasy.
1) reliving a very erotic moment in my life--and taking the next step--which we didn't do, but damn...it would have been soooo nice
2) mentally scripting an event that almost happened with two brothers. It started, and the older brother pulled the plug on it. either he was a gentleman (I doubt it) or was too drunk to perform, or was afraid to perform in front of his brother. *What might have been* is a great fantasy
3) The "Love Room" from Logan's Run or the Pleasure Barge from "Caligula."
4) A scene I've written.
Roxy I would say some of my fantasies are on the list -- maledom, sezx with two men -- but my biggest fantasy is multiple forced orgasms while in bondage. Some day I may write a story on that one! Have any of these happened? Not talking on that!
Rae
I'm with you Rae...multiple forced orgasms in bondage...yummy.
one for me includes being erotically strip searched by some authority figure. This is a very embarrasing but very strong one for me. There is a lot of erotic elements to it for me.
Angielouwhos from twitted
WOW, lots of great writing going on here! I had to come back and check since i posted this morning.
I noticed one thing....'is there something wrong with that?'
nope.
No matter what.
and one of you said 'forced orgasms' and 'would it happen' No, is what you said..tryin to scroll and see who it was, but you know who you are lol.
I wouldn't act on mine either, not because i can't, or won't..just because they are fantasies and the fuel that feeds them is outstanding...I share some with my partner....but I believe, fantasies are great tools...amazing tools! and when you can experience them thru writing or sharing it's damn Good stuff!
peace on Sistahs!
Oh, the forced Orgasms. I've had that one too, Nice Fantasy!
Oh, Darr, the Love Room in Logan's Run ... totally one of my fantasies. I didn't even think of that. Thanks for the reminder. :D
I have a lot of different fantasies. But the ones pretty much guaranteed to get me off are:
a) blood - being bitten, blood licked, covered in blood etc. Vampirism to a point.
b) being sold/shared/used by a roomful of people. Be they strangers or known. But an object to be used rather than a person to be loved.
c) Non-con. Rape. Taken by force, very much against my will. In public sometimes. Bloodied sometimes. Pretty much you can fit most anything into this category.
Interestingly, while a) and b) are things I incorporate, in part, into my actual sex-life, c) remains very much (and only) fantasy for me. But it's a very powerful one.
xx Dee
Thank you EVERYONE for your comments! The winner of the latest "hat drawing" is Curvaceous Dee ... so drop me a line and tell me which email to send one of my ebooks to. I'd like to send you Sacred Secrets but if you have already read it...I can send a different one:) Congratulations!
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