Improve Your Marriage Bed...

When I was a lot younger...ahem...I married a lovely man and we had sex every day, several times a day...and then roughly two weeks into the marriage, he said, "Not tonight baby, I'm exhausted, you're killing me!"

Ever see the movie the Exorcist? Remember Linda Blair's spinning head? Yeah, that was my reaction...I wasn't prepared for rejection in My Marriage Bed! That was only the beginning...we had our moments...I was too tired...he was too tired...he came out of the closet (after years of saying he was "Bi-") and our marriage grew stronger because we worked through every problem and in the end entered into an open-marriage agreement that in today's terminology would be polyamorous...

That marriage ended in tragedy so who knows if our open-marriage would have survived the long haul...

Enter the second marriage...after being in an open-marriage...a monogomous marriage seemed tame by comparison but I wasn't competing with the "cute, sexy boys" of the past so I was content...until I found out about 2nd husband's other woman...yeah...ever see that movie...

I am now on my third marriage...and I am desperately and completely in love. I am determined that this one work through the good and the bad...and let's face it... having sex with the same person night after night is amazing...and it can be repetitive...it's easy to get in a rut...

After only 15 months as Sir Hotness's wife...and taking into account the amount of time he spends away, travelling for business, I can't honestly say we've even hit a bump in the road yet, let alone a rut, and if I have my way-we won't. But just in case...I'll be prepared...

Enter the mass amount of information out there on the bookshelves and online...I think that no one can ever know too much about sex, relationships, and keeping it entertaining...I mean, pick up this month's issue of Cosmopolitan and you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about his g-spot, but if you still want more just google it.

Here's an interesting book...Strategies to Spice Up Your Marriage.
The focus might surprise you...advice, techniques, some do's and don'ts...

Disclaimer...none of the following comes as quotes from the book...it's just my take on it...so buy the book (even if your marriage bed is perfect) and read on for the entertainment value of my take on things after three marriages...

1. Choose wisely when to fight, when not to fight...if you know that Friday night is a planned romantic rendevous...complaining Friday a.m. about the toilet seat being left up might not be a great idea...the truth is, the lid is going to be left up again tomorrow, so why risk no sex tonight?

2. Be sexy for each other...I can be honest...if I put on the silk teddy instead of the sweat pants and t before bed...I can be reasonably sure that something is going to come of it...and usually nakedness is involved. Vice versa? THe sweat pants and might result in sex, but they also could result in both of us falling asleep...so if sex is a hoped for outcome...go to bed prepared, including brushing, flossing, shaving, and making sure there's perfume in all the right places...

3. Talk about sex in the times between sex (trust me, right after is not the time to critique the performance)...if you are sitting on the back porch, enjoying the sunset and just happen to mention to your partner that that thing he did two nights ago with his tongue was amazing...it could very well lead to an encore right there on the back porch...which is why you might not want to mention it in the frozen foods section of the grocery store...

4.Make time for each other...get the kids in bed earlier...or better yet...send them to a babysitter's...

5. Text each other naughty thoughts throughout the day...if you both have sex on the brain for the better part of the day...sex is probably going to be a result...