Calling Out My Demon

Whew, I had no idea I was emotionally on edge about my current WIP, the yet titled secretary story. Yesterday, I was brainstorming with hubby about what I can do to kick the secretary novel up a notch...and eyyyow! The stuff that came to the surface made my blood BOIL...not in a good way...in an angry way.

Anything that stirs up that kind of emotion has to be written because a writer's best friend is intense emotion: anger, fear, hate, love, lust, envy, jealousy.

Raw, undiluted emotion is scary stuff and in the writer's world, separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls. No one wants to face their darkest fears, their losses, their inner demon on a good day, but to purposely poke those demons to make them rise even closer to the surface of thought so that the demon drives the thought--only a real masochist, or a writer--would force themselves through such torment.

My family is used to coming into the office by now and finding me slumped over the computer sobbing...and typing as fast as my fingers can move. I've learned that the scenes that make me ache or cringe or want to run screaming into the night are the scenes my readers write me about, saying they've been inexplicably "moved" "touched" or "in some way changed."

I've also learned from my critique partner that when I cheat and edge around an emotionally touchy idea it is obvious (maybe only to her since we can see right through each others writing, just sometimes not our own) She'll call and say, "You cheesed that scene so bad." And I'll take a fresh look and say "Yeah, yeah I did"

Fixing those scenes takes opening up...finding the pain inside...and harnessing it.

Yesterday, I outlined the scene, then backed away -- I need to be alone with my demon awhile to pull up the kind of emotion I need to write the scene. Cheesing out is not an option. Today I'm digging deep and hoping the scene flows easily.