2.12.2009

Define Friend...

I thought I knew what a friend was...
Then today I found out how good a friend I really have...

Xandra Gregory, critique partner extraordinaire, called me from the Pure Romance Warehouse and said the magic words to any woman, "BIG SALE, you gotta be here now!"

I said, "I have grandbabies today...followed by a few expletives...because I would have loved to have been at that warehouse sale! Even though I was having a wonderful time watching IGOR with the babies (and watching them ride their brand new training wheels included big girl bikes that I got them for their birthdays (age 3 and 5) inside the house)...

She said, "Get online and shop with me..."
Okay...

So item by item that she passed by, I pulled up online so that I could enjoy the full sex-toy big-sale experience...

First up the Valentines Day Specials:
Who needs Diamonds ... Of course the main conversation revolved around the $36.00 savings...the "too adorable for words bling collar" ... ridges ... and length. Also important were if all the extras...toy cleaner, creams and et caeteras were "regular size" or "smaller size" ... I was surprised, they were regular size ... and I was almost drooling that I wasn't there with her because it did indeed seem a shopping savings that could not be passed up...but then all of the Valentine's Day Packages were attractive... I'm still not sure about the orange g-spot stimulator that online looks like an alien but ...

She hurried off to novelty items before I could get too involved in alien sex talks...
And was impressed that there were so many vanilla-ish bdsm toys...ticklers and teasers, feather dusters and fuzzy handcuffs...oh my, that does give me an idea for a new book...

Edible undies?
A bed of roses?
A stripper pole?
A sex sling?

I nodded and smiled, got distracted by IGOR's creation singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow"...

But then I went with her (virtually)to the vibrators with clitoral stimulator's table ... and I knew I was in trouble ...
I love the Humdbelievable (I broke mine...bummer)
I like the Cowboy-Up but not so much that it's irreplaceable...
So I might be in the market of a new toy...so through Xandra's excellent descriptions I "comparison shop" everything on the table...
Her side of the conversation went something like, "Oooo, this one has bigger beads...no texture...lot's of texture...wow, this one's big!"
I asked, "How big?"
Her: "Really big."
Me: "Length or girth?"
Her: "Length."
Hmmm...
Me: "Compared to Cowboy Up, longer or shorter?"
Her: "Definitely longer. Wait, I'll hold them up side by side...oh wow...about an inch and a half longer."
Really...
Me: "Is it slick like Cowboy Up or ridged like Humbelievable?"
Her: "Oh ridged, definitely ridged...more than Humbelievable."
Insert expletives here because I am not there with my Mastercard...
Her: "Do you want it?"
Me: "Yeah! Maybe I can get there tomorrow...is the sale on tomorrow?"
Her: "Or I can throw it in my basket and you can pay me later."

That dear readers is a truer than true friend...

Meet my new friend Tom...Described online as:
T.O.M.
Looking for a whole new meaning to multiple orgasms? Meet T.O.M., our triple orgasm machine! T.O.M.’s intense multi-speed and function clitoral stimulator, multi-functional rotating and thrusting shaft, and waterproof design is sure to fly you to new orgasmic heights! A must have!


Of course I haven't met Tom yet, but I have a feeling we're going to really like each other...

And as for Xandra? She's the most awesomest friend a girl could have!

2 comments:

Xandra Gregory said...

Of course I thought of you, dahling. Who else would truly understand the buzz about the annual Valentine's day vibrator sale, so when I hiked cookies down to Loveland for a little Pure Romance, I knew I had to drag you along for the ride, even if it had to be a virtual one. :D And (for you regional folks) I almost departed with B.O.B. and T.O.M. in my basket but changed my mind at the last minute because rhinestone-studded collars aren't just for pink poodles and cabana boys.

<3 U!

Roxy Harte said...

For those of you missing the B.O.B. and T.O.M. reference; yes, Bob and Tom are local radio personalities…and through Pure Romance, also vibrators…

Meet B.O.B.

Meet T.O.M.