And I'm sure the question was valid, I could have used control, pain, mastery...
As it was, a day of angst produced the subtitle to Sacred Secrets and I do thank my friends who made suggestions while I strived to not have a nervous breakdown over it...in the end, I dug a little deeper into my own psyche for the theme of the series and it was a painful journey. It should have been easier...
Surrender is such an easy thing
Surrender is close to fucking impossible
On the yoga mat, in role of instructor I am forever whispering, "surrender" to my students. Sometimes, they don't understand it is surrender that makes the asanas so much easier. The greater life-lesson being that surrender makes EVERYTHING so much easier. What I don't tell them is that though I've learned the art of surrendering to the asana and sometimes the pain of holding the asana, the life lesson is a moment to moment challenge. I'm human, I like control. I like nice and tidy and sometimes life is messy...sometimes downright nasty. ..and it's in those messy, nasty moments that the lesson of surrender is most important.
Those who know me, love me, and sometimes Master me...feel the pleasure I experience when I just give it up! So why is it still so hard to surrender?
Isn't that the bigger question?
If it fixes everything, if it feels good to do it, if it the great karmic healer...why is it so fucking hard to do?
I gained my subtitle not by controlling the outcome, but my surrendering to my psyche, that fantastic place where my characters thrive, seeking insight into the truth behind their stories, and to be honest, they had a lot to say on the subject, quite eloquently in fact, which was unusual. Usually, they go through two stages: curled in fetal postion or screaming at me incoherantly; however, on the underlying theme they were quite clear, even when they didn't really want to admit it, whether Dom or sub, their roles were always fighting or freely giving surrender. Luckily, I am just sadist enough to make my dominants give it up, even if they're screaming incoherently when they finally do--surrender.
Thank you to Edgar T for the use of the visual
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