Contemplating Burned Bridges

Following the full moon craziness, I've spent a few days inside my head... not talking to my characters (because that is my every day) but trying to figure out my real life thoughts and I came to some very unexpected conclusions.

Like...

Just because I feel like I am "supposed to do something" doesn't mean "I have to"... sometimes, it's okay to do what I think is right for me... just me... even if it goes across the grain of what someone else believes.

Just because someone else is fulfilling their obligatory 12-step program apologies, doesn't mean I have to be open to forgiveness or reconciliation. I have to do what is right for me... just me... first and foremost.

And the only answer I have to give for my own selfishness is "Just Because."

This week I have literally been visited by not one but three ghosts from my past... all wanting me to know they didn't mean it when they hurt me... or they want me to know they love me, even though their actions continue to say they hate me... or they want me to remember the good times the way they do with a more negative spin...

I am who I am.
I refuse to allow negativity in my life.

All three ghosts are filled with so much bitterness, anger, sadness, regret, addiction...

What is right for me is to not allow them to ever affect my life again.
Some bridges are best left burned.

Painful wisdom, but true.