Horror Down There...

No, I'm not talking about the dust bunnies under the bed...the other down there...

You know I've had forty-odd years to grow completely comfortable with my nether region. I can say that I love my clitoris. I love my clit so much I play with it every day...

But there was a day long ago. I think I was twenty-one. And I was flipping through a copy of Hustler with some friends and one of those friends pointed out that one of the model's rim was exceptionally dark...

I was shocked, I'd never considered that the skin around my anus might be anything other than the pleasing shade of pale cream or rosy pink that the rest of my body is. I'd always assumed my butt hole was the same color as my nipples...I mean, seriously, you'd think, right? And I'd never looked before...

I was assured by my friends that it was indeed tan...they volunteered to hold a mirror, but mortified by the prospect I declined and raced home to hold my own mirror in the privacy of my bathroom.

Oh my god!
Mortal embarrassment. Tan not rosy pink. Forget cunnilingus in the daylight ever again. I vowed no one would ever see my parts again...

Thankfully, I met a guy who after a few full-on dark sessions demanded on seeing my labia because he thought it felt beautiful. Eventually I admitted that I was embarrassed about the darker pigment around my anus. He needed proof and upon embarrassing reveal, assured me that he thought my anus was hot. So hot he insisted on rimming it right there in full-spectrum overhead lighting.

Thank goddess I was born when I was because what if I'd had the option of anal bleaching? I might have gotten a little lightening with my Brazilian...and I wouldn't have experienced my first rimming. (I highly recommend that experience so if you've never been licked there...find someone to do it for you asap)

There are so many options available now...to beautify the horrors of what is not beautiful enough down there. Anal bleaching. Labia nipping and tucking. Hood reduction. Oh, and this one. Hymen replacement.

Seriously, I was reading an article about a woman who had her virginity restored for the sixth time...

Do I really want to relive my "first time" enough to have surgery to ensure I bleed when I have sex? Not a chance. I was recently talking to some friends about this...because believe it or not the surgery is "in."

We unanimously agreed "no way" but one of the still single women at the table admitted that if her fiance wanted to break her hymen on their wedding night she would do it for him...

Really?
No. No. NO!

I am so happy that I have grown to love my body just the way it is because there are just too many options available for fixing what others might see as the horrors down there but I just see as beautiful!