Wake Up Calls...

Wake Up One:
I sat at work yesterday ... Real Estate day job ...answering phones ... realizing I was making zero cents per hour. A bad market really wakes you up to the truth. In the past, in the good market, clients often asked for a reduction in the fee I charged (the average 6%) and damned me if I didn't sometimes fold and write the contract on 5 or 5.5%. I never made the client justify how much their bosses paid them because they had me over a barrel ... seriously, like water-boarding torture ... because I had children to feed and if I did or didn't close the deal meant I may or may not feed my children the following month. I wish I was exagerating. The truth is before the crash in the market I was excelling as an agent ... what the industry likes to call a Rising Star ... Meaning I was at the One Million sales volume mark and on my way to hitting the Two Million sales volume mark (in one year). In paycheck terms One Million in sales equals 15K per yr, Two Million equals 30k. Divide that by the 60 and 70 hours per week I was spending on the road and it adds up to making less per hr than a McDonald's employee and that doesn't take into account the phone bill or gas...so don't get me started (and pray that no one ever asks me to lower my fee again because you may hear my answer in whatever state you live in). It's a hard career even in a good market.

Then I married Sir Hotness and people at the office started saying that I wasn't "as hungry" but the truth is, my hunger for success has never changed ... it's just switched gears. Yes, I am still a real estate agent ... but first and foremost I am a writer ... and Sir Hotness has made that possible because a) he believes in me but b) he doesn't mind paying the bills while I do the work to succeed.

Wake Up Two:
Karma is a bitch and how (why) did I end up with this particular life lesson? The life lesson in question? I tend to attract stalkers ... on a semi regular basis ...

Stalker 1: I was seventeen and said stalker was approximately twenty-two and quite the hottie although for the three weeks that he was leaving notes, cards, flowers ... and a dead cat ... in my path ... and I didn't know who he was ... I wouldn't have cared if he was a young Brad Pitt because I was terrified.

Stalker 2 and 3: (It was a tough year what can I say) I was twenty-two, my at the time husband was in a coma and Stalker 2 was his supposed best friend who, when I confronted him, said he was following me to "Keep me safe" (a threat from a mutual friend ended that stalker's interest)... and Stalker 3 was the nuerosurgeon who saved my husbands life but rendered him a vegtable ... (he was fired and deported)

Stalker 4: I was twenty-seven and the stalker was never identified but at some point gave up and went away but not before he'd scared the crap out of me on several occasions, making me hate alleys, elevators, stairwells, and parking places that didn't have at least two exits. Our final encounter was via telephone conversation where he promised that I would never know where or when but that he was going to slice off my pretty face. (Nice...I spent the better part of a decade looking over my shoulder.)

Stalker 5: I was forty and the guy drove me insane for months, watching me, following me, parking in front of my house, parking behind my house and numerous phone calls to the police seemed to do nothing because I couldn't prove he was breaking any laws. Isn't stalking breaking a law?

So here we are three years later and I think I've attracted another one ... what in the hell did I do to make these men get obsessed with me? Really? I haven't had a clue until the epiphany today ... that it is karma. But what did I do in my past life? What is this life's lesson so that I can learn it and end this madness? If anyone has any ideas ... please let me know.

Wake Up Three:
I do better with deadlines. I've been writing little bits here and there not really adding up to complete works, but then an email from one of the editors I'm working with, not asking me to hurry up but offering encouragement because he is an ardent fan and (yeah right) ... Look, I'm a person pleaser ... he had me at "I was just wondering..." ... My muse has been singing ever since.
Thank you, Danny Boy:)

So, if I'm not as wordy over the next few weeks it is solely because I am determined to get A Submissive's Journey to Loose-Id by the end of March.

And for those who have been reading and noticed all of the open ended questions ... if you have answers to the many dilemmas this week ... PLEASE Speak Up!!

And Nina! Haha...you are so right ... in the long run a Tibetan Mastiff might cost more than an ADT but I still think it will be worth it in the long run. Any suggestions for convincing Sir Hotness would also be greatly appreciated ... although Forgotten Girl's suggestion gets tried first ... as soon as he gets home from the latest business trip ... although he always gets THAT anyway so I don't know how much sway it will have ...