Deadlines, Distractions, and A Breakthrough...Even If It's Not What I was Supposed To Be Writing

It's three a.m., I am officially getting up in four hours to start another day. Six and a half hours ago I sat before a blank page, seeking to start the new novel, working title: A Submissive's Journey. Officially the continuing saga of Julia and Everett introduced in Submissive, part of the anthology Dom/sub released by Loose-Id...

I got so far as "Chapter One"...
that's it ... just the words chapter and one...

Sometimes writing is so easy...thousands of words fly onto the page without even a glance at the time...usually missed appointments follow...or a call from Beautiful Girl announcing that I am late picking her up from school...again.

then there are times like tonight when any distraction is a good enough reason to leave the white page glaring the words chapter and one...

like my email...
Myspace...
Twitter...
Podcasts...

and talking to Sir Hotness on the phone because he is at work and I am at home...

then suddenly mid-giggle in the excited telling of plans and this and that's...something is said...and I shake my head...surely I misunderstood because for a second there I thought he was drawing a line in the sand, totally out of the blue, unexpected, my heart imploding as if it's caught in the vice-grip of some other man's preconceived notions about how things are or should be...

whew...
for a second there I thought I was talking to the wrong guy...like maybe the ex-husband who didn't "get me" at all ... the one who never knew I was Poly in the first marriage because he wouldn't have understood that...nor would he have understood that I was Bi.

but no, right guy on the phone...I just had to clarify that he was the same guy who spent Sunday night watching not one but three women taking turns playing with his wife...

it's a funny thing what happened next ... after assurances that no there really was no line being drawn, no squishing of my soul... I hung up knowing I was loved and appreciated for who I am, even if who I am sometimes pushes his comfort zone. Goddess, I love this man.

I went to bed, closing my eyes, thinking that tonight was a wash...no chapter one...might as well sleep, when wide awake I lay... Kitten sudden;y talking in my head, telling me her story, unbelievable, because I'm already 70k words into Book Three of the Chronicles of Surrender, Unholy Promises aka Lord Fyre's Story, and until this moment she's been completely silent, leaving the book unfinished...unendable.

Kitten evolved tonight and told me how the story ends and she wasn't mewing, or even purring...Kitten roared as loudly as a Lioness protecting her turf, protecting her soul...

and this is how the final three-quarters of Unholy Promises unfurled...
excerpt begins here...told in Lord Fyre's POV

The problem with being here, in Garrett’s bedroom, is that we all follow his rules, and here we are real, as nowhere else allows us to be. All other times we wear masks to fit the situation, only here are we real…no masks, no lies…and the real me, Aristotle, though neither Garrett or Celia knows me by that name, is exhausted. Life has worn me out. It’s been a long year. Lattie, my children, Daniel, Eva, and even Garrett and Kitten have played roles in pushing me to this point, though Kitten least of all. She has been my refuge and now I may have lose the only serenity I had by insisting that another woman be allowed into our fold.

“Thomas?”

I open my eyes to find her kneeling before me, having not heard her cross the room—so very unlike me—but I find that I don’t even care that I’ve let my guard down so very much with her. Placing her hands on top of my thighs, she rubs softly. “Talk to me.”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin.” I answer.

“You honestly love me?”

“Dear God, yes, Sophia.” I call her by her birth name, cupping her face in my palms as I do so, a hug for her face. “If nothing else in my life is truth…that is. I love you.”

She nods, kneading her fingers deeper into my thighs. Half-rising, she pushes me back into the mattress and follows me, moving to straddle my hips. Her lips are on mine suddenly, kissing me, licking me, tonguing me deep and hard. I don’t try to stop her, I don’t want to stop her…I just lay there beneath her, my hands at my sides, not even attempting to touch her, too afraid of breaking the spell that is allowing her to be so aggressive. I sink into the mattress, relaxing, letting her kisses take me to a place I haven’t been in a very long time,the soft wetness of her mouth, the insistent sweep of her tongue, and warmth of her breath in my mouth lulling me. When she pulls back…minutes later…hours later…she whispers, “You won’t leave us.”

My voice chokes as I answer, or try to answer. My face is wet and I realize that her kisses made me cry. “I’m not leaving you. I am yours and I am Garrett’s for as long as you are both mine.”

“Then how can you say that you want her to come here?”

I feel tired and old looking at Kitten’s fresh, sweet face. Though she is far from being an innocent since meeting Garrett or me, she still evokes a certain naïveté. “I don’t know. All I know is it is unfinished.”

Kitten closes her eyes and I realize that she is shaking.

I wrap around her nakedness, pulling her down onto my chest. “Don’t worry. Know that I love you and I will not risk losing you. If it gets to be uncontrollable, you and Garrett come before anyone else in my life.”

"You are mine." She whispers against my chest and her solid warmth on top of me lulls me once more. I am home.

I awake, in Garrett and Celia’s bed. The curtains are pulled but even not seeing a sky, I know that it is late night. I am still wearing the clothes I arrived in, Celia is still naked though tucked into the curve under my arm, her head resting on my chest. Garrett has joined us. He is wrapped around me, also still wearing the clothes he wore this morning, and lying over me, covering me like a blanket. I don’t move, not daring to wake them. In my mind, I capture this moment, hoping to hold onto it forever, praying I don’t ruin everything. Thinking that I am such a fool to need Eva so much that I am daring to risk losing this.

Excerpt ends...
I leave you here for the day, hoping I leave you intrigued, planning on writing more Wednesday, hoping I will be apologizing on Thursday for not blogging because I was writing either more of Kitten's Story or more of Julia's Story...

Wish me luck.