Spank Yourself Already!

Okay, not to sound bitchy, but I was having a conversation with my critique partner, Xandra, the other day and the subject came up that I keep getting emails from writers wanting to know if this "sounds" BDSM enough...because they have never done anything even remotely non-vanilla and they need guidance because they are writing the great BDSM novel...

Xandra said to send them to the book, Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns...a classic BDSM how-to book for beginners that I actually have on my very own BDSM Research shelf...that way, I wouldn't be giving out info to make their writing job easy...ie NO RESEARCH...

Now, maybe I shouldn't call it a pet-peeve that people want the easy answers and yes, I should be flattered that someone actually trusts and values my opinion...and really, I wouldn't expect someone writing a murder mystery to actually go kill someone for the experience, but I would expect them to do some research...like what size cleaver does it take to cleanly slice through the neck severing the head from the body?

So, is it really asking too much for these very vanilla BDSM Erotica Writers to at least go to a few BDSM sites and read? Or maybe get a belt out of the closet and whack their own ass a couple times for the sensation research?

I know, I'm just one of those sicko pervs who actually likes to be tied up...and have known I was different for a very long time...and now I write about it too... I shouldn't be judgemental of non-kinksters who just want to write an entertaining story and throw in some kink for grins...

I just want them to experience the joy of research...
I mean just the other day, I asked Sir Hotness, "Do you think it's possible to--"

Ah, now that's a story for another day;)