What's On My Mind Today? UTI

So if you read the title and logged out immediately...I won't be offended but will assume that yes, you do know what UTI stands for...

If you are still here and don't have a clue...you should probably leave now and save yourself the disappointment of finding out that UTI is not an abbreviation for a great new sex position...although, if you stay long enough to read the entire post...you may be rewarded with new sex position pics (In 3-D)...because that is the recurrent thought in the back of my brain other than UTI's.

So, anyway, I woke up this morning (4:30a.m.) and realized I had to pee...almost as quickly, I realized I couldn't pee...not a chance...and the almost drop that did manage to find it's way out of my body wasn't pleasant. So, what does a girl do at an ungodly hour of the morning when pain and intense pressure makes her realize that there isn't a chance in hell of going back to sleep? Ibuprophen chased by beer. Why? Beer travels faster than water and Ibuprohen would hopefully shrink the swollen parts enough to force the beer through. By six-fifteen, I was in the bathroom in tears, but peeing...yeah! No trip to the ER required. Does anyone know how long you can go without peeing before it becomes a need to go to the ER, just for future reference?

Anyway, I spent the day sleeping, searching the web for homeopathic remedies (more on this momentarily), cause the beer and Ibuprophen was far from a cure, and talking to friends I haven't had time to talk to in ages...

Jessica's insight into the situation, "You know what causes UTI's right? Stress, Not enough Sleep, and Too Much Alcohol..." Her suggestion...antibiotics..."now, don't wait."

in answer...I'm paid on commission and close to losing the commission check that was going to pay the cell phone bill ... we won't even discuss the house payment or rapidly approaching holidays...of course I'm stressed...I've been working twelve to fourteen hour days seven days a week until recently, that leaves no time for sleep if I also want to have a life, and as for alcohol...it does contribute to my sanity.

Stephanie's insight, "You know what causes that, right?...Sex...just stop having sex."
Uhhh, let me think...no. Also contributes to my sanity."

R's insight, "Antibiotics." As in he thinks I need them...and I don't do doctors, so we now have a quandary as how best to deal with this situation...and then he said, "You know what causes them, right?" He was actually in agreement with Stephanie as to the cause but not on the same page for the cure. Though the thought of me going to a doctor is laughable...

Which brings me back to my Homeopathic search, where I discovered I've been sucking down the wrong herb tea all day long...echinecea not goldenseal...gotta go buy goldenseal...

Also drank more all organic, unsweetened cranberry juice than I ever want to see again in this lifetime...to find out that it's a preventative not a cure. Yippee. Thanks for being right ABOUT THAT, Jess, and as far as the offer to help out...I'll let ya know tomorrow:)

Okay, enough about UTI's...
Now on to those new sex positions...


Anonymous said...

Since avoiding sex is obviously out of the question, in my experience w/ UTI's, I found that peeing right after sex is helpful. Oh, and you can get the cranberry in capsule form and it works just as well, or maybe even better than the juice.

Thanks for a great, entertaining blog!

R said...

The alter position looks fun. I'm not much of a little church boy, but if you're going to get religion then that's the kind to get ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi--I've been reading your blog every day (love it by the way, even if I can't play the little videos) and wanted to reply to your post about UTI's.

I used to get them frequently, and did everything that the doctor said to do. One day someone told me to stop going to the doctor, that it had to do with little germs that backed up after sex and touched the urethra, and all I had to do was get up after sex and go pee, even if it was only one drop, to wash the germs away. I started doing that and have never had another UTI. Maybe it was a coincidence for me, but it might be worth trying--and easier than the cranberry juice, which I hate.


Roxy Harte said...

Okay, Lila, I'm done with wild, crazy sex...only because one of the side affects of wild crazy sex is a UTI...I didn't know that...until this am when I woke up in agony and Hot, New Guy had to explain it to me.........ugggggh.

So that's my most embarressing moment this week...and from now on...or at least until I'm feeling better...I'm living vicareously through you


Lila said...

*dying, gasping, oh the laughter*


you crack me up lady. That is hysterical that you have never had one before and MORE hysterical that The New Hotness had to tell you what was wrong, though that is totaly a Hot Dom thing to know.

Well if you are living vicariously I had better hop on Blind Date guy.

But you sex life is still interesting because your guy comes with climber's rope.

April said...

Roxy, some advice. Drink plenty of water and cranberry juice to clean yourself out. You can also get antibiotics from the doctor if it's really bad.

In future, to prevent getting a UTI ... make sure you pee and wash up after every session of "fun". And again, drink plenty of fluids.

Don't forget the cranberry juice. That's really key.

Funny how I never read about UTIs in erotic romance novels ... even after the heroine has been jumping in bed with three men at once and going for hours on end using all kinds of orifices and blunt objects without going to the bathroom and washing up until very late the next morning.

Dude. Every skanky heroine should have OceanSpray cranberry juice stocked in their fridge and pantry for those just-in-case, I-feel-a-UTI-coming-on days.

Lila said...

Also, heroines who are fleeing with the hero in some mad cap escapde never say 'don't touch me you jerk, I've missed my birthcontrol for two days and it has artifically forced my period to start and I want to kill myself, or you, because my back is killing me.'